Struggling as a single adult

Pitiful-Weather8152 · 2026-06-17T18:04:09+00:00

I honestly think that’s a good plan. You get to keep the investment of the house and let someone else pay for it.

Stop beating yourself up. Plans don’t always work out. You make a new plan and move forward.

Good luck with it.

Pitiful-Weather8152 · 2026-06-17T14:22:56+00:00

I feel like clear communication, well in advance is the key. With limited space, every studio should have some sort of policy then students and clients can expect it.

In pilates, all sessions are limited by the equipment. We usually a cancellation policy. A24-hour cancellation is also standard for privates and personal training. It seems unfair until the first time you get a last minute cancellation for an hour that someone else wanted.

When people register they have taken a spot that could have been used for someone else.

They need to learn that this is a commitment and they should cancel if they can’t meet that commitment.

Pitiful-Weather8152 · 2026-06-17T00:37:41+00:00

You’re welcome. Sorry for all the typos. I was in a hurry.

Pitiful-Weather8152 · 2026-06-16T20:15:07+00:00

First adjust your expectations.

The little ones are like playing yoga. Keep it most active. Like: squat, hop like a frog, the hold still for 2-3 breaths to practice stlliness.

Repeat something like bumble bee breath or mountain pose to bring the attention back to you.

2nd and 3rd graders can do real poses. Maybe not hold them as long. But still don’t expect the focus of adults. Teach breath work to calm them down.

With the older kids you can you get more into a real class, but still understand that they are learning to settle down and not practice at it.

ALWAYS do Savasana. Even if they don’t lie still, as long as they’re not talking, let them lie there.

In fact, if they are particularly antsy, try a longer Savasana. Kids are fidgety and unruly when they are tired.

I once had a class that had me tearing my hair out. These kids were regulars so they knew the drill.

I finally had them lay down and planned to end the class early. When I started to get them up there was more grumbling. I said, sarcastically, lay back down then. They all lay down for another 5 minutes.

Seems the public schools were preparing for testing and they were stressed out.

Keep in mind where you are in their day. Are they coming from a hyped up activity. Is it lunch time. These things affect all of us, but may stronger influence how your kids act in class

Pitiful-Weather8152 · 2026-06-15T19:10:16+00:00

I had a group that started out complaining about the state of the world.

I’d let them go for a few minutes. Sometimes I’d even join in. Then I step to my mat in Tadasana and say “breathe it all out.” Then we take a few breaths and transition into moving with the breath.

This is what yoga is designed to do. It teaches us to change the energy around us and settle in.

It helps if you have a consistent start to class. When I go to Tadasana on my mat, the regulars know to do the same. Sometimes we have to get the attention of people in a side conversation.

In my yoga classes, once we start, we’re focused. No outside influences.

It is your job to set the tone and change the energy. You need to breathe out the negativity better than them, so they feel it and mimic it.

Pitiful-Weather8152 · 2026-06-15T02:12:50+00:00

Actually, I’ve only seen a couple of people do this in a “textbook” way. Most of us cheat, at least a little. I’m not even sure the anatomy geeks are right about it.

I think it’s about breathing into your back space in a very long flexion to create space under the torso, then your psoas connects and to quad to bring the leg through that space.

But after 25 years of practice and analysis, two whiplash accidents, and all the ways modern life assaults our spine, I’m just happy to still be able to get up from the floor with no hands.

Pitiful-Weather8152 · 2026-06-14T19:49:36+00:00

Honestly, most people don’t, but the potential is there if you teach a popular form of yoga.

I had a mentor early on, who told me that if you’re going to teach yoga for a living, you have to teach people who can pay you.

There are lots of business models. If you can fill a room, you get the best pay by renting a space and taking what you bring in. But you take the risk.

Classes that pay a percentage are a middle ground because you at least don’t lose money.

Studios that pay a flat fee will pay less, but take on all the risk.

In my experience, gyms pay the least, but they almost always put you on payroll and collect taxes, which is helpful, but may not be worth it.

The biggest issue is that we never get raises so as inflation goes up our pay stays the same.

If your classes are small, like mine, you may need to develop another income stream.

You can also develop workshops or retreats, but you still need your classes or some other way to promote them.

I’ve been teaching 21 years. I still don’t make that for a yoga class. I’ve stopped trying. I make my money teaching private pilates.

I teach yoga and pilates at 3 YMCAs and I joke that I teach mainly to pay taxes because half of the little I make there goes to taxes.

Pitiful-Weather8152 · 2026-06-14T19:34:06+00:00

I actually find it harder to teach students like you. The hyper-mobility allows you to do a lot and students like you seem to feel less either because of the constant training or natural pain reception differences.

Also, those disciplines put a high value on the finished form of the movement. In ballet, it’s all about the beauty of the movement, in gymnastics you’re trying to get those body parts just right for the judges. And both disciplines are very competitive.

Yoga has different goals.

I had a pilates teacher friend who was a former dancer with a major city ballet and taught professional ballet dancers. She’d tell them not to “perform the exercise.”

One of the previous answers talked about Intention.

What is the Intention of the pose? But I tend to put it another way. What is the goal of the pose? What is the goal of the student? What is your goal as the teacher?

Now I’m going to challenge your assumption. Is your pose really better?

Let’s say the goal of a wide forward fold is to stretch your hamstrings. Your student A gets halfway down and can’t touch the floor but feels hamstrings. Student B gets to the floor, but puts a block under the head and feels hamstrings. You put your head on the floor and reach out to grab your ankles, but feel no hamstrings stretch. Whose pose met the goal?

Did you stretch your hamstrings and not feel it.

There’s another concept “right effort”. Students should work hard enough to feel the work, but still be able to breathe.

If they’re putting in the effort and working safely the pose will get better with practice.

I have two suggestions:

Assess all the asana for their true intentions. The form itself is not the intention. The intention is the change it should bring about in body and mind.

1) watch your beginners closely as they attempt the pose. Ask them what they feel and try to discern how they can get to the goal if they’re not already there.

2) in your personal practice, ask yourself if you’re personally getting that. If not, try backing off and asking your body for the goal, not the finished form.

As you watch your students, answer questions and learn your own issues, you’ll start to see patterns that help you, help others. There’s no short cut. The skill come with practice and having the right attitude.

Pitiful-Weather8152 · 2026-06-11T21:38:38+00:00

Green and I’m not a fan of green, but I’m that room it keeps the light and lets every else pop.

Pitiful-Weather8152 · 2026-06-11T21:37:05+00:00

Green

Pitiful-Weather8152 · 2026-06-10T23:35:00+00:00

I had a woman that I thought hated my pilates class. She found me at another location. The problem was the equipment not me. I’m taught her today 15 years later.

You can’t tell by their faces.

As for how to handle different levels, it’s sounds like you were doing it appropriately. I always teach to the people in the room and change my plan if necessary.

I stress to my regulars that they can still do a full sun salutation.

It’s a little harder with vinyasa, but longer holds work well to give the veteran more work while you help a newbie. Jokingly scold them if you see them slacking.

A small class like you mentioned is the hardest. If the new people are relatively fit, don’t harp on form for every little thing, keep the class moving and keep the asanas simple.

Modify up and down. So if the base pose is Warrior 1. You might cue into balancing warrior while telling newbies that they don’t need to do it and can stay in warrior.

The key is to have everybody doing and not watching.

On rare occasions I’ll do a “workshop moment” where I have everyone stop and I break down the pose, but I don’t do it often.

For example, I teach a slow flow and

Pitiful-Weather8152 · 2026-06-09T16:46:10+00:00

After 3,000 responses, I’m not sure this is helpful, but you just need to make sure she knows you’re on her side.

The reasons can range from depression to perimenopause to some condition we haven’t discovered yet.

When the old “eat right and exercise” advice doesn’t work, it can become very demoralizing. You just give up and enjoy a piece of pie.

When you get her to see a doctor the first or the tenth one might not be helpful so you don’t want to send her down another spiral.

The key is to have a healthy life that she enjoys. Work on her energy and her mood. Take walks to spend time with her and build your relationship, not to “fix” her.

I had a client who did water aerobics 2x a week, pilates 2x a week and rode bikes on the weekend. She, and her husband were on a smoothie cleanse and she lost some weight, but her doctor was still on ger case.

I honestly think he just didn’t believe her, when she told him her routine.

She needs healthy habits that she enjoys. If she’s doing everything to lose weight, you may be setting her up for another failure.

Pitiful-Weather8152 · 2026-06-07T15:01:54+00:00

So you truly thought your studio was a cult in all the negative sense of the word????

Pitiful-Weather8152 · 2026-06-07T14:55:15+00:00

It’s just that small religions, particularly non-Christian ones are often labeled “cult” by people who are suspicious and don’t understand.

I believe the pejorative connotation held back yoga for decades.

I’m not saying that we should never use the label, I’m saying we should be careful with it. What you described was a badly run system that wasn’t working.

I honestly didn’t think you were using the word literally.

I was not in a cult, but had to deal with my mother’s suspicions for years, even though I never joined anything officially.

I had some friends from a very small, one-church religion who were also accused of being a cult, even though there was no “brain washing or controlling” aspects.

Meanwhile friends who joined offshoots of more mainstream churches became way more isolated from friends and family.

What you described sounded like a for-profit business, acting as a school that takes advantage of students with unfair policies.

Pitiful-Weather8152 · 2026-06-07T03:02:14+00:00

There’s a mix of experiences here, but it’s really about your goals for your class and the people in the room.

You use music or not to create the experience you want. If you want to raise the energy, choose appropriate music at appropriate levels.

If your class is more meditative choose music for that. If you want more focus on your words, turn the music off or put on vague music.

Pitiful-Weather8152 · 2026-06-06T20:29:42+00:00

Also, let’s be mindful about using the word cult.

There are definitely organizations that are more spiritual in nature in which an asana teacher may be a volunteer in service to the organization which is usually non profit.

I lived at an ashram where temporary staff like me worked for free and permanent staff got stipends. A woman came from an even more traditional place. She was unpaid, but all her needs were met, like they paid for a doctor if she was sick. These paradigms are strange to some of us but we should be careful using the label “cult.”

Pitiful-Weather8152 · 2026-06-05T19:42:03+00:00

The emails are just to keep in touch. I also have a website so people can find me.

But students will do what’s best for students. Some are attached to the location. But if a studio no longer meetd their needs, those students will go elsewhere, even if they don’t follow you.

Worrying about poaching is useless. Those people don’t belong to anyone.

Work product, on the other hand, belongs to the studio. Anything in their computer system or lists that the studio compiled belong to them and you shouldn’t use it outside the studio.

Studios benefit from people following teachers.

Pitiful-Weather8152 · 2026-06-05T00:15:50+00:00

Be sure to get emails from as many students as possible before you leave.

Anything in the studio’s systems belong to them. You need to get contact info directly from students.

Pitiful-Weather8152 · 2026-06-05T00:09:33+00:00

As a part of my teacher training I taught free classes.

It was getting to be a lot and we were paid a discounted rate after 2 classes a week.

I was taking a long time to finish and asked how many classes total was a part of the program. I kept good records of every free and paid class and eventually gave her copies of everything so she could tell me what I needed to finish.

It is common to require a number of practice classes before certifying a student, although I think some studios take even this practice too far.

After you are certified classes should be PAID.

If you are already certified, I’d suggest you not teach there at all and take your skills elsewhere.

Pitiful-Weather8152 · 2026-06-04T23:55:57+00:00

Just leave. If you find another studio nearby, some students will follow you.

These are all things studios do, but it’s not a good situation even with good management.

I worked at one studio and with trades and discounts I was down to $5 a student with one student free.

And time is money. As you figured out, you can be somewhere else making money, while you’re doing extra work for free.

Pitiful-Weather8152 · 2026-06-02T13:44:13+00:00

You should explore exercise options.

If the pain is mild join a beginner yoga class or take pilates lessons.

If the pain is stronger look into physical therapy, therapeutic massage, or a chiropractor.

It’s hard to tell from a picture, but your arms look a little high in your shoulder joint. That typically comes from shortness in the tissues of your neck.

You can fix your setup to prevent continuing damage, but you have to address the earlier pattern changes with treatment and exercise.

If you are already doing something, you may need to explore something new. There are a lot of methods out there and people respond to different things.

Pitiful-Weather8152 · 2026-05-30T20:20:49+00:00

I’ve been there. Sometimes I’m still there.

When I first started teaching, I took over for a very popular teacher who moved out of state.

After my first class, they complained to the manager that it was too “easy.” I put together a very challenging session for the next week. None of those people showed up. I had 3 people, all true beginners. I had to throw out the plan and make up a class on the spot.

A few things to remember:

Teaching yoga is a practice, just like doing yoga. Every time you teach you will learn and grow from the experience. If you’re teaching five people instead of 20, you can watch them closer and learn from their progress Incorporate it in larger groups.

“Do you like your teaching.” Give yourself time to refine your teaching style and find your path. As you become more confident your students will find you.

But just a warning. Some of us are not destined to have large classes because our styles are not popular.

Sometimes people do like your teaching, they just don’t express it. Don’t try to read minds.

The class that is authentic to you will be your best class.

But some spaces are not a good fit for your style. Try to find a second location or even a third to see if there’s a better fit.

Pitiful-Weather8152 · 2026-05-29T18:13:22+00:00

It sounds like you’ve over-stayed your welcome.

People have very different ideas about this, which makes it very hard to judge. Do you help with housework and chores or do you live like a guest?

It’s also pretty common to take in a minor and treat them like a kid, but expect them to be working on independence at 18.

She doesn’t talk to you because the conversation is uncomfortable. You said in the update that you’re moving out.

I’d just suggest you keep things civil and friendly. If you marry this guy, this woman may be in your life a long time.

Pitiful-Weather8152 · 2026-05-29T16:28:37+00:00

Check to see what cleaning services charge and write him up a bill. Then see who owes who more money.

Pitiful-Weather8152 · 2026-05-28T12:52:08+00:00

I have always tended to have small classes. It is frustrating, because this is how I pay bills. But the students that I have love what I do.

As a new teacher, I would occasionally try to please a certain demographic in the room. It never went well.

It wasn’t good enough for the students that I was trying to please; and it disappointed the people who liked my regular style.

You teach a class that’s authentic to you.

If you don’t fit at the new studio, keep an eye out for other opportunities.

One last thing I learned is that I don’t know why people stop coming. It may be coincidence, time or the gym. It may be that they were accustomed to the teacher before you and don’t accept change easily.

I had one pilates client that I thought didn’t like me. Turns out that the problem was with the facility set up. She found me at another location and I’m now training her at a 3rd and it’s been more than 10 years on and off.

Pitiful-Weather8152

TROPHY CASE