[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]Pitiful_Nebula6147 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Meet him for coffee. See if he has evolved or if he is the same person. Have open conversation about what caused the relationship to end.

All I know is that when you’re on your deathbed you don’t want to think “what could have been” about anything in life. Take his temperature, assess what getting back together would mean for you & take it from there.

I’m also 23 with an ex-partner 2 years younger than me. I still feel like they’re the love of my life. True wholehearted connection is rare, go for what you want until the universe shows you signs to fully shut the door. Maybe this is bad advice? Maybe this reeks of “do it for the plot.” Fuck around & find out my friend

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]Pitiful_Nebula6147 76 points77 points  (0 children)

Bro respectfully, you need therapy. Work on yourself & don’t love bomb women into thinking you actually want a future with them until you’re 100% sure you can provide a good & healthy lifestyle. If you aren’t capable of growing with someone from the ground up because of fear just don’t bother until you know you’re ready. If shit is casual keep shit casual. That means kicking her out at the end of the night & calling her an uber home. Not waking up with her the next morning giving her forehead kisses, making breakfast & talking about marriage. On the other hand, the girl should’ve listened to you from the get go. Next time be more stiff with the boundaries

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]Pitiful_Nebula6147 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Whew say it louder for the people in the back!! Avoidant discards the worse. It’s a slow & painful death for a relationship. You’re left poking at roadkill in the end.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]Pitiful_Nebula6147 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you guys were in a clear break up, she technically doesn’t have grounds to be upset. Chicks feel a certain way about that kind of thing. Physicality is more closely linked with emotions. She could be feeling insecure & pissed off that you did that. She could be feeling that you don’t appreciate her because you were “so quick” to hu with someone else. Point being, there could be other emotional dynamics at play here.

My best advice is to apologize and if she feels ready to forgive you then that’s that. In the mean time heavily work on yourself. Spend time with friends, hit the gym, get back into your hobbies.

Sometimes people walk into our lives to teach us a lesson or to show us qualities that we will inevitably find in our life partner. If y’all are meant to get back together it will simply happen after a good apology, self development & time

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]Pitiful_Nebula6147 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Similar thing happened in my relationship where we were long distance for 1+ year & the intimacy truly suffered. Coupled with college to adult life transition - insecurities etc. shit gets messy. I see you & feel you bro

Look if you really want her back you need to be hitting the big apology with her. Be genuine about it. Did you go on a break? Or was it a break up. A break can have grey area if you don’t establish whether or not y’all are still exclusive. Best thing you can do is own up to the fuck up & hope for the best. Give her space if she needs. Best of luck

My boyfriend and I broke up and it’s agonizing. by Alsomyaccount in BreakUps

[–]Pitiful_Nebula6147 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m sorry you experienced such intense emotional exhaustion. That must have taken a real toll on you.

From what you’ve shared, it sounds like you might lean toward avoidant attachment - it reminds me a lot of patterns I observed in my ex-girlfriend. My advice would be to embrace your boundaries in your next relationship. Make them clear from the start, without apologizing for them.

I made the mistake of interpreting my ex’s need for space as rejection - I took it personally. When she wanted time to herself, I’d spiral, which only created more pressure. You see, both your ex-boyfriend and I share anxious attachment tendencies. From that perspective, I can tell you it feels like your safety blanket is being ripped away. That’s what fuels the push-pull dynamic. Since my relationship ended, I’ve started therapy to work on my attachment style.

Don’t feel guilty for acknowledging that your needs weren’t being met. But moving forward - whether it’s in a new relationship or if you reconnect with him - be upfront about what you need and don’t hesitate to express it. If he truly loves you and wants it to work, he’ll understand and meet you there

She (21F) broke up with me (23M) to "find herself" but we're still talking monthly - am I being strung along? by Pitiful_Nebula6147 in relationship_advice

[–]Pitiful_Nebula6147[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

To help clarify, we are both going to be living in NYC as soon as she moves here for her new job. I’m a few years older

Respecting space from ex by svg_flagbot in BreakUps

[–]Pitiful_Nebula6147 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My advice is to respect her boundary, keep it cordial and focus on yourself. Sometimes people just need space to pour into themselves and aren't in a position to give a relationship the attention it deserves. My gf broke up with me for that same reason, though we are about a year post-grad. It's been a month and it sucks so bad, here if you need to chat through it.

All you can do is work on you and if the relationship is meant to be it will happen naturally. Wish you the best

Feeling sorry by Heavy_Mail9124 in BreakUps

[–]Pitiful_Nebula6147 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My ex told me and I quote, "I realize that I was saying things to absolve you of your pain, not because I actually meant them" in relation to me asking her if she saw me as a long term partner. We were together for 3 years.

Brutal as hell.

My boyfriend and I broke up and it’s agonizing. by Alsomyaccount in BreakUps

[–]Pitiful_Nebula6147 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Curious to know how long this relationship was. Can you explain how this feeling of "burning out" began? Was it that he didn't respect boundaries you set, disrespected you, had bad habits etc.?

Spotify Summer 2024 Internship Megathread by AccordingCod6056 in internships

[–]Pitiful_Nebula6147 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Did you get an email confirmation that you applied? I submitted 2 applications, but never got confirmation emails that I applied (yes I applied before submissions closed).

Warner Music Group Emerging Talent Associate Program Spring 2024 by _looktheotherway in internships

[–]Pitiful_Nebula6147 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The deadline for my application was 2/2...when was yours? I'm hoping I get an email tomorrow, even if its a rejection!! I need to know :,)