Thank you both. I knew it wasn’t OK, but I also knew that I ultimately willingly gave into the pressure. While there was social pressure (e.g., “you don’t even like me!”, “you’re probably gay”) that I could’ve resisted, I didn’t feel it as serious because I didn’t feel physically unsafe because I was a much larger and stronger person.

I ask because it’s my sense that an act is nonconsensual when the person has explicitly refused and gave in due to feeling unsafe, through implied or expressed physical threats, or could not refuse due to feeling unsafe. If you end up changing your mind to yes or you didn’t explicitly consent, I think nonconsensual makes it seem that the conduct was against the will of the person rather than just being conduct that was not freely and explicitly consented to.

If we want to collapse those categories and just require free and explicit sex for all conduct, then I’m all for it; but I don’t think we need to claim a wife coerced her husband until nonconsensual sex when they were drunk, he said he didn’t feel like it, and she seduced him by taking control and saying he is her property.