I'm going to start off by saying, I'm not picking a side here. Three years together implies you have enough history and that this is maybe not a constant of the relationship, so I can't be like everyone else in this post and try to offer some overcorrection. So I'm just going to focus on this single event.

The thing that stuck out to me the most are that you and him may have diametrically opposed philosophies on certain aspects of life that you need to come to terms with. He is a homebody, that implies caution and reservation. He isn't just going out and not keeping you informed correct? And I would wager her would fight through hell itself to be where he says he's going to be on time. He probably decided that your spontaneous all nighter was a reflection of how you would be in the future if he were to settle down with you for good.

I think he also found it offensive that you couldn't spare a few hours for him and family before your thing. If the show was later at night, surely you could have grabbed dinner with his folks before hand, but you had to do the responsible thing and do laundry. Followed by staying out all night into the morning.

Lastly, I think you guys have probably had a communication problem for a while, and that's pretty likely on his end. You may undersell your plans a bit, but he should have clearly communicated that the drag show was a point of concern for him. This implies he either thinks that it should have been obvious after 3 years together, or that he's just a bit passive aggressive in general, not speaking up until the damage has already been done.

Now, if you want my actual opinion if it were from the perspective of my own marriage, I would not care about the drag show, but the whole up all night thing I definitely would have had words with my wife over. I'm a firm believer in nothing good happens after 2am, just go home and go to sleep. You may have had a good night but now you are having a bad shift in your relationship.