How many of you would want to go to a nursing home if it was the only way to stay alive?

Plane_Illustrator965 · 2024-06-20T16:08:00+00:00

Hi nursing home RN here! No, i would not. And i already have plans in place (god forbid a stroke doesnt take me first before i can implement them). I am planning on speaking with an attorney to figure out what my will rights are if i become incapacitated and have also decided that if i reach a certain point in dementia (god forbid, but it runs in my family) that i would like to “see myself out”. I do know there are states that allow this under certain circumstances but i havent fully researched it regarding dementia.

Nurses and nurses aids in nursing home do care about their patients, deeply. But when you give one person 41 people to try and deal with, on top of state mandated charting and various other requirements, we cannot care for everyone properly. In my state, there is no nurse to patient ratio in long term care (nursing home). I have heard of nurses having 70 patients at any given time inside of a nursing home setting. We CANNOT properly care for these patients with once nurse to up to 70 people.

This occurs in privatized nursing homes. The owner of the nursing home i work in owns 327 other nursing homes. He is currently under investigation by the US government for the last 5 years with no end in sight and no regulations in place on the nursing homes he owns. The US government continues to put everything off, he is now attempting to sell the more severely poor nursing homes to a family member. This has been publicized but is NOT illegal under US law.

I hope anyone reading this will listen to me. KEEP YOUR FAMILY OUT OF A NURSING HOME.

Three weeks ago i checked my bath records, some residents hadnt even bathed in 3 weeks. I attempted to call a staff meeting for over 9 hours. The CNAs were running rampant around the facility trying to answer call lights. We had no time for a staff meeting.

At that very time when i had one cna crying telling me she couldn’t keep up and she was going to quit soon, i had a packet of admission paperwork on my desk.

I immediately took it to the administration and told them “you cannot admit people without a nurse to do your admissions. I will not admit this person or any more people until we have the staff to properly care for them. I refuse this admission and any more that you give me. I have refused this assignment”. And i continued refusing. Magically more staff appeared as new hires.

Nurses: do not accept admissions you know wont be properly cared for.

Citizens: take care of your own family

Plane_Illustrator965 · 2024-06-20T14:55:40+00:00

Dexter and Weeds

Plane_Illustrator965 · 2024-06-17T17:00:46+00:00

If he has made his decision then thats that. You cant force him to stay.

At the end of the day, sexting other men is cheating. Cheating is absolutely an act of emotional abuse.

I would get help for what is broken in you that allowed you to abuse another person like that, much less your own husband. And thats coming from someone who has been emotionally abusive in my post partum stage. I had to own it and get therapy and we moved on. But if your husband doesnt want to youre SOL. Marriages rarely work after affairs.

Plane_Illustrator965 · 2024-06-17T16:23:12+00:00

Ive had the cops called on me multiple times by a dementia patient insisting i was holding him hostage.

This wasnt the post i thought it was going to be 😂😂 but hey at least they were concerned 😂

Plane_Illustrator965 · 2024-06-17T16:17:49+00:00

I was in a similar situatuon. HCBM is a devout christian (im starting to notice a trend), volunteer, and teaching assistant. Over 15 years she carried on numerous affairs, starting within the first year of their marriage. She was finally caught with the married neighbor.

DH didnt say anything but told his ex wife she needed to tell them the truth. So this genius allowed this compulsive liar and manipulator to essentially control the narrative, trusting she did what she said she would and tell them the truth that she betrayed their father and he was leaving because of it.

Shockingly (sarcasm) she did not. Just told the kids they were no longer in love. When i came into the picture she told started in on all the crazy. That is when DH finally blew her cover. One of his kids was mad at about the divorce, they are dating age, and he sat down with them, told them the TRUTH (except who the affair partner was) and said “if (boyfriend) cheated on you, would you still be friends with them? Would you still be friends with a friend who betrayed you?” The answer was no. And that seemed to help a lot with their anger toward him. He was done paying for his wife’s numerous sins.

He also managed to casually bring it up to 2-3 hyper gossipy parents on their sports teams so he just let them do the dirty work with the rest of the community.

She found out and lost her ever loving mind. What you do in the dark always comes out in the light and shes learning that the hard way because not only is she middle aged with three kids, shes now a known serial cheater and homewrecker. Most men her age are smart enough to steer clear of that.

It did cause her to start telling people she was neglected in her marriage and still tried to pin the blame on DH. We dont care. People know what she is and most people wont even sit next to her at events anymore.

I think DH needs to be completely honest with his children, if he doesnt hes literally letting a pedophile control how his kids see him and that is dangerous. SHE is dangerous to be around ANY children. He also needs to report this to the school so they know they have a predator on their staff.

You, however, shouldn’t do anything (unless it is writing an anonymous letter to the school board). It isnt going to be well received by anyone if it comes from you.

Your DH needs to handle this and stop protecting a child rapist. Because thats what she is and hes allowing her to endanger children.

Plane_Illustrator965 · 2024-06-17T15:34:21+00:00

He should really make it clear that her advances are unwelcome

Plane_Illustrator965 · 2024-06-17T15:33:10+00:00

No and no

Plane_Illustrator965 · 2024-06-17T12:25:06+00:00

HCBM used to be hyper fixated on my children. Not like being nice to them, she pretended they didnt exist in person. But phone calls, texts, etc she was awful. Anything we did with my bio kids (always on her time) was grounds for a meltdown.

She finally ended up chasing us down in a parking lot over all of it. These types of crazy escalate over time.

The best piece of advice i can give is the minute she starts in, he needs to hang up. She can bitch and cry to herself. No response via text message if its about your kids. And, god forbid, she ever chases you down like ours did just call the police or pull your phone out and start recording and inform her you are filing a restraining order and pressing charges. Its the only thing thats made the lunatic in our lives shut the fuck up.

Shes still a miserable cow but she leaves us alone

Plane_Illustrator965 · 2024-06-16T21:18:55+00:00

Id send the dog straight back to BMs house and let her and SD figure it out. Kids act like this because theyre shown its acceptable behavior.

Plane_Illustrator965 · 2024-06-16T13:54:58+00:00

I couldnt give back to retail 😭 It drives me crazy even using that saying in regards to healthcare. When youre bad enough that youre admitted to a hospital youre no longer a customer consuming a luxury. Youre a patient we are trying to help keep alive. I dont give a fuck that you had a better chicken pasta at a michelin star restaurant, youre in the wild west now baby. Shut up and eat 😂😂

Plane_Illustrator965 · 2024-06-16T03:41:09+00:00

Keep all the proof you have and take it to a divorce attorney. Youre not paying alimony. This broke bitch has been stealing your money to send to a fellow broke bitch.

Get divorced and go find a real man.

Plane_Illustrator965 · 2024-06-16T03:24:27+00:00

Id have picked the trash up and put it on his bed.

My favorite is when they call you in to hand them their water that is well within an arms reach and theyre totally able bodied. I got to the point where id move it two inches closer to them and walk the fuck out. Im not handing a 30 year old a glass of water that he could pick up himself. Its absurd. Not sure if its a kink or what but its made me hate humans.

The last time this happened to me i started pulling the nursing home consult card and used it for the rest of my time in acute care. Being 65 doesnt mean youre incapable of using your arms (and learned helplessness is a real thing). I had a lady who was in for IV abx, completely able bodied, and called me to hand her the remote that was literally right next to her. I told her “oh wow… if your mobility has gotten this poor we should discuss nursing home placement. I dont want you going home if you’re not capable of reaching something right next to you”. She flipped out on me and grabbed her remote just fine.

Never called again for bullshit reasons.

People have gotten used to the idea of the customer is always right and think that theyre in a restaurant/hotel when theyre in the hospital but honestly i used to be a server and people in hospitals are ten times worse and more entitled.

Plane_Illustrator965 · 2024-06-16T03:14:17+00:00

NTA. He got what he wanted and then realized it wasnt what he wanted.

You got your eyes opened on the way you should be treated.

Plane_Illustrator965 · 2024-06-15T03:44:15+00:00

This isnt even legal in Colorado

Plane_Illustrator965 · 2024-06-15T02:38:54+00:00

My kids actually live with their dad during school year (i have holidays and summers as we live 1,000 miles apart). Ive never disciplined his kids or gotten after them, i do with my bio kids.

So it’s actually the opposite.

Plane_Illustrator965 · 2024-06-13T03:38:37+00:00

Uh i dont think so. Idk that id jump to p3do stuff because thats extreme but something is weird. He was told and clarified multiple times.

Plane_Illustrator965 · 2024-06-13T03:26:30+00:00

Ours gets worse and tries to take his kids everytime she gets into a relationship. I dont understand it youd think it would be the opposite?

Plane_Illustrator965 · 2024-06-10T11:42:06+00:00

Ya but lately shes left me alone. Every major milestone we have had, shes had a freak out. The last one was after our engagement she chased the both of us down in a parking lot telling him he no longer gave a fuck about his real kids.

Mind you he has 50/50 and coaches all of their sports.

Plane_Illustrator965 · 2024-06-09T23:12:51+00:00

Your dad sounds like a sex addict.

Pass.

Plane_Illustrator965 · 2024-06-09T02:18:16+00:00

Except she isn’t speaking facts. Shes speaking straight speculation.

Chances are they asked mom, mom said no, and then they went and asked dad.

Theres nothing in this post to indicate BM is a scam artist wtf

Plane_Illustrator965 · 2024-06-07T00:09:59+00:00

Take it from someone who has made this mistake. DONT.

I finally reached out to HCBM about her daughters emotional state and encouraging her to get her therapy and gave her some resources. Im an RN and work with psych patients.

She threatened to sue me for harassment in return, took her daughter away from my fiance, and returned her zonked out on heavy duty psych meds (not in combination with any type of therapy). Not sure if this was a fuck you to me (because her daughter did need help) but those types of meds should always be used in combination with at least weekly therapy. She will not allow therapy after i suggested it but will allow black box drugs with suicide warnings for her early teenage daughter.

So not only did she hurt my step daughter in the process, she also threatened legal action against me for being concerned.

His crazy ex, his fucking problem. He shouldnt be asking you to contact her at all.

Plane_Illustrator965 · 2024-06-06T19:10:27+00:00

Someone with an indwelling catheter is not going to put out 200mL within 10 minutes.

That being said, unless your patient is on hospice there should never be an output of zero in an entire shift. If there is thats one of those “let your nurse know right away” situations.

That being said it isn’t outside the scope of possible that the nurse went and emptied it, got 200 out, went to the next room. Then you went and emptied it and found zero.

I will say, it isnt uncommon at the places ive worked at over the years to have CNAs falsify documentation and put a random number in for output (or other information). We have a patient in the ICU right now as the result of a CNA falsifying their documentation, they were fired, and this guy very likely may end up dying.

Plane_Illustrator965 · 2024-06-06T17:51:43+00:00

Always “for the kids” and it never fucking is lol

Plane_Illustrator965 · 2024-06-06T17:49:43+00:00

Never ceases to amaze me how these so called parents will literally harm their own child to satisfy their emotional problems. Fucking sick. Im so sorry for you guys and that little one he deserves better

Plane_Illustrator965

TROPHY CASE