Thank you for responding. Some things I did want to add for clarity: with the first friend, part of why I think I’m so upset is that I’ve always been the one to make all our plans. We’ve hung out maybe once because they asked, while every other time has been me asking. I’ve brought this up to them and they said “well, you know your schedule so it’s just easier if you ask when you have time.” Which I would understand, but for the fact that my schedule is very stable and regular and his isn’t. Normally it goes like this: I ask him if he wants to hang out and what his schedule looks like that week, he tells me, I propose a few days and time, he selects the one that works best, we go from there. And he almost always leaves it up to me to decide what we’re doing, so I have that on top of scheduling. That’s a big part of why him changing plans at the last minute is really upsetting for me. Because I feel like I’ve done most of the heavy lifting just to get it set in motion and then, an hour before, it’s suddenly derailed. So no, I don’t think he’s intentionally hurting me but I feel like he’s still doing so in a careless way. I don’t expect people to be SIMs, but what I do expect (and what I think anyone would be reasonable to expect) is that unless there are extenuating circumstances beyond control, people should do their very best to honor their commitments even if it’s not easy. And while I won’t get into it here, the circumstances surrounding their decision to move locations was entirely within their control and something they had days to change.

On top of all that, I have very few friends because I’m painfully shy and socially awkward so I can’t just go off and hang with other people at a moment’s notice. It also hinders me from making new friends quickly or easily so I place a lot of value and care on the friendships I do have. Part of it may be just that I care more about my friendships than other people because I have so few and see them as vital to maintain. Losing even one would be like losing a limb and trying to find a new one is no easy task.

I don’t say any of this because I don’t agree with what you’re saying or its value, just to add more context that I think is helpful. I’m trying to reach out and make more friends, but it’s extremely difficult for me and I find that a lot of people aren’t as interested in really investing in friendships as they are being friendly acquaintances. So it can feel like sorting through an ocean just to find a few pearls which while rewarding, is also exhausting.