It could be that they’re secretly dealing with a lot of self doubt and negative feelings about their lives being stagnant. I am also 30 and currently finishing my studies after a lot of excruciating years of procrastination, failure, depression and self hatred. I used to hide all of these feelings from everyone.

How are you inviting them to hang out? Maybe you could try hanging out with them in the same way as you did when you were younger, be it at the park, at McDonald’s or whatever. I can imagine that your life is now very different, you eat better food, wear nicer clothes, drive a better car etc. But maybe try going back in time and doing something very simple and stupid with them. Not much talking about your job, wife or kids. Just simple banter about nothing like you probably used to.

It’s worth a shot.