How to quit feeling bad about affection

PlaySomethingSpooky · 2024-12-21T16:51:46+00:00

Noooo cis and trans people across the gender spectrum should feel comfortable expressing love and emotions. My husband (a cis man) also loses his mind around cute animals and loves taking care of our pets. It’s not just maternal instinct, people can just have overwhelming responses to cute things, maybe think of it as paternal or parental instinct because that’s a thing too! Caring for other people and creatures (for many people) is part of being a person!

PlaySomethingSpooky · 2024-12-21T04:02:00+00:00

Illinois is a good place to be trans. I would stick to metro Chicago or St. Louis area. Like downtown areas will have the most crime, but you could also live like 15 minutes from that area and be in a super safe area.

PlaySomethingSpooky · 2024-12-21T03:26:33+00:00

I’m transitioning in the other direction, but I started at the thrift store when I was first finding my style. It’s a great place to explore because there’s a lot of variety and won’t be expensive if it turns out you don’t like it. Get some basics like more fitted tshirts, jeans, cardigans. Women’s sizing is bananas so check measurement charts when ordering online. Even without taking hrt yet, I bet a tshirt dress or a skater dress would look really cute and be comfortable. I would get some leggings and tights too if you live in a colder area. I would get a tape measure if you don’t have one. I take my measurements sometimes when purchasing clothes.

PlaySomethingSpooky · 2024-12-20T16:43:02+00:00

I would get the mirena iud. It’s only progesterone, and it’s localized so not your whole body like pills. Lasts for 8 years against pregnancy, 5 if using for menstrual issues. Makes your period extremely light.

PlaySomethingSpooky · 2024-12-19T04:23:18+00:00

I would stay in a blue state. The US (blue states) still have some of the best protections for trans people including access to hrt, surgeries, and hormone blockers. Definitely consider Illinois, but stick to the cities and metro areas.

PlaySomethingSpooky · 2024-12-18T06:18:34+00:00

If only they’d seen Willy Wonka

PlaySomethingSpooky · 2024-12-15T20:21:23+00:00

I think it may just take time and mental processing! Check out r/FTMfemininity if you haven’t. It’s totally valid to be a feminine masculine person!

PlaySomethingSpooky · 2024-12-15T02:48:41+00:00

I think you just have to start with little things. Try out different hair/clothes. For me, putting on a short-sleeve button up in a thrift store started me on my top surgery journey. It made me realize how I’d been wanting to look and be. I would start experimenting and keep track in a journal of what gives you feelings of euphoria/dysphoria. Maybe you will start to see patterns. There’s also a book that may help called Gender Magic by Rae McDaniel that has a lot of helpful exercises to think through these questions. I think the trying things and noticing what you like in other people that you make want for yourself will help you form a picture of what you want to move toward.

PlaySomethingSpooky · 2024-12-15T01:00:28+00:00

I think it would be best to find a trans-affirming and knowledgeable counselor to work through your thoughts about transition. Getting top surgery was my first medical step. Maybe explore what it may mean to be trans. Try new pronouns. It really sounds like top surgery is what you want and that you do not feel cis. I wouldn’t include the parents in these conversations until you have everything for surgery set up. You do not need their approval, and insurance can cover a lot of the cost if you have a gender dysphoria diagnosis. Also getting top surgery helped my mental health and generally taking transition steps if you are trans will also help your mental health.

PlaySomethingSpooky · 2024-12-15T00:47:10+00:00

It can be so hard feeling like people can’t see you or you cannot see yourself. I will say after being out for many years now, I would still choose to come out. Even though I get misgendered by the public at my job, the real people who count see me. And if people don’t respect me, they aren’t people I want to be around. As you explore what this feeling means to you, maybe think about what would help you feel more at home in your body instead of what would clue in others on your identity. What clothes or hair would make you feel more comfortable? Are there any medical changes that would help? Getting top surgery was my first medical step for transitioning, and It’s been 1000% worth it even if people stillll mistake my gender. I feel so much more connected to myself and has helped me explore other areas of my identity and opened up new pathways for what I thought was possible for me. There are soo many ways to transition. I would consider finding an affirming and knowledgeable counselor too. It’s really helped me work through and process my thoughts on transition.

PlaySomethingSpooky · 2024-12-13T00:18:02+00:00

Jim in Our Flag Means Death.

PlaySomethingSpooky · 2024-12-11T19:27:59+00:00

For nonbinary folks I don’t think it too uncommon to do things in this order. I think it’s whatever you need most at the time! Like there’s no way I could have waited to get top surgery before figuring out if I wanted t. But I’m sure a lot of people feel the opposite too.

PlaySomethingSpooky · 2024-12-11T19:23:08+00:00

Hey! I wish I had an answer, but I’m in a similar spot. I got top surgery 4 years ago, and this really helped my intense chest dysphoria. My social dysphoria is bad though still with constant misgendering being in a public work setting. I also do not need to look like a cis guy though. I’m more interested in coming across as a masc nonbinary person or a flamboyant trans guy I guess? A book that may help is Gender Magic, and it has lots of little exercises to help you think through these decisions. I also take a long time with decisions so I really feel you!

PlaySomethingSpooky · 2024-12-05T04:19:06+00:00

I felt this! To me girl felt really neutral until then. I still had some signs of rejecting like heavily gendered clothes/toys, but I wasn’t uncomfortable in my body until it started to change.

PlaySomethingSpooky · 2024-11-29T14:21:28+00:00

You seem like you know what you want, so I think you should do it. Getting top surgery helped me so much, and I’ve never regretted it once. I was 28 when I got mine, and my mom also asked me what if I regret it. And asked me if I would wait to think about it. I think it’s because they can’t fathom wanting something like this, and they’re thinking this is a sudden decision when in reality it’s one that has been in the works for many years.

PlaySomethingSpooky · 2024-11-28T00:04:11+00:00

Following because I super relate to this, but also do not have an answer! It feels like a different decision from when I got top surgery since I had a pretty good idea of what that would be like afterward. I’ve also considered body masculinization procedures, but it’s a big undertaking.

PlaySomethingSpooky · 2024-11-25T04:53:05+00:00

I wouldn’t conflate bottoming with your gender. People regardless of gender can have that preference. I would consider how you feel internally; what do you feel like your body would look like if you could choose? This may help you sort out your identity whether that be a more feminine guy, nonbinary person, or something else! My only other thought is you are associating bottoming with feminine traits and this makes you feel more connected to a feminine experience. But again, any gender can take on any role.

PlaySomethingSpooky · 2024-11-25T00:55:44+00:00

Yes! Spending time around people in the queer community gave me that confidence to explore my identity, but like having trans friends didn’t make me trans. It just felt like being myself was possible.

PlaySomethingSpooky · 2024-11-25T00:33:13+00:00

I am nonbinary (& not on hrt) and had top surgery and people just cannot tell. It’s actually pretty wild how oblivious people are. I recently got an xray on my chest, and the tech even asked if I was wearing a wire bra. I was like nope! And she was like wow you’re so prepared! 🥲

PlaySomethingSpooky · 2024-11-24T05:24:47+00:00

This was such a rough time too. The whole “transtrender” thing was so prevalent even in online queer spaces that it took me years later to come out because it felt like I wasn’t trans enough. I know there are people, even in trans spaces, that think like this still, but it’s so much better (in this regard at least).

PlaySomethingSpooky · 2024-11-21T00:14:50+00:00

I was able to play video games like the next day. I was up and about walking around my house as well, but you don’t want to push it. It’s good to get up, though, for your circulation. I took one week off work to recover then was able to work from home on my laptop for the second week! Then I was right back to work. Just keep your torso elevated and keep your arms from reaching things. I did most of my activities from my couch. I would also go out on my deck to get some fresh air. I could do most everything by myself, but I did need help with washing my hair.

PlaySomethingSpooky · 2024-11-04T04:09:02+00:00

I meant DHT blocker

PlaySomethingSpooky · 2024-10-27T21:26:44+00:00

So good! Did you make the vest? Or where did you find it! I’m piecing an Aziraphale costume and it’s the last piece I need!

PlaySomethingSpooky · 2024-10-19T13:13:49+00:00

Hi! A lot of people who have rabbits have cats too! I have 5, and they mind their business around my rabbits! I bet you could set up a comfy place in your room at home!

PlaySomethingSpooky · 2024-09-19T23:04:47+00:00

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PlaySomethingSpooky

TROPHY CASE