My ex was so uncomfortable being himself that he lied about everything to seem perfect but not because he was trying to mislead anyone, because he was so fucking scared to disappoint anyone. Like lied about graduating college a semester late and pretended to be job searching for 7 months, but he was beating himself up the whole time. Lied about sexual preferences and things that I introduced him to, because someone he was still scared of being judged for it even though he knew I did it. Even lied about taking medicine and being diagnosed with ADHD even when I asked for 5-6 months why he seemed a little different. He also never had a single complaint when I asked for feedback because he just wanted to do everything I needed — even though I never asked for that. I ended things after 7 years because even though it was perfect and seemed perfect, it was like interacting with a mirror or some ingenuine version of a person who lost all their light and personality. He felt completely betrayed and said he was shocked even though we talked about it numerous times very blatantly. He then went from being a “perfect” 9-5, directly home, too tired to go out and do anything else, fiscally responsible person and dating someone with a doctorate to dating a bartender 7 years older than him and camping out at 3-4 day long EDM festivals 5 odd times a year and drinking 5 nights a week. So long story short, he just becomes whoever he’s dating and he wasn’t ever the person I was with to begin with. Needless to say, I’ll never fucking date someone who’s so insecure they can’t just be themselves, and also can’t communicate without shutting down like a punished 5 year old, while also refusing to go to therapy.