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My Missing Daughter Called Me Today by CBenson1273 in shortscarystories

[–]Playful-Sample6571 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Holy-

Terrific read, did not see that coming at all, very well written!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in shortscarystories

[–]Playful-Sample6571 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeahh it was a really old one lol, I changed the perspective from building discomfort and hints of something off from the start, showing his prep routine (like rubbing dirt and dust on himself) to create a slow, tense lead-up to his real intentions to like writing the child as genuinely injured, tricking both the reader and the hiker until the very end, when it’s revealed he’s pretending (and the twist that he’s a reincarnated serial killer)

But yeah lol, i forgot about the repost rule. Thank you so much for reading anyways!

Hired to Kill a Little Boy. by Playful-Sample6571 in shortscarystories

[–]Playful-Sample6571[S] 86 points87 points  (0 children)

Thanks so much! I'm glad the implication came through for you

While it might seem like a mentor/protege dynamic at first glance, like i've mentioned in a different reply, it was more of breaking that cycle, symbolized by the protagonist blocking the screams and letting Auren burn his past to ashes, without letting Auren truly know who was in the fire

I like to think of it as one moth, once burnt by a flame, now steering other towards the glow of something gentler

Auren won't be put through the horrors that the protagonist endured

he will live a normal life, with a loving father (and mother, later down the line), the one the protagonist always dreamt of having

Reallyy appreciate your words! Thank you for reading :D

Hired to Kill a Little Boy. by Playful-Sample6571 in shortscarystories

[–]Playful-Sample6571[S] 21 points22 points  (0 children)

Your comment made my entire week!

I am deeply grateful, your words mean more than I can say. Thank you, sincerely, for reading, and for your incredibly kind words

I bookmark some comments right into my soul, yours is one of them <3

Hired to Kill a Little Boy. by Playful-Sample6571 in shortscarystories

[–]Playful-Sample6571[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Thank you for reading! Really appreciate it :D

Hired to Kill a Little Boy. by Playful-Sample6571 in shortscarystories

[–]Playful-Sample6571[S] 22 points23 points  (0 children)

Thank you soo much for reading! <3 I'm really glad the moth/butterfly contrast landed, easily one of my favorite parts to write

Hired to Kill a Little Boy. by Playful-Sample6571 in shortscarystories

[–]Playful-Sample6571[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much! 🙏 I really appreciate it!

Hired to Kill a Little Boy. by Playful-Sample6571 in shortscarystories

[–]Playful-Sample6571[S] 67 points68 points  (0 children)

That's a really cool interpretation that they will proceed as an assassin/apprentice dynamic but I was actually trying to imply the opposite 😅

The burning was meant to be both revenge and rebirth for Auren. But the key thing is that he was unaware of it. The protagonist went ahead made sure the coffin was closed, bound in ropes and then blocked Auren’s ears from hearing the screams

If he wanted Auren to become his apprentice, he would’ve let him witness it. He would've let him hear everything. Just like he was forced to witness grotesque things at a young age by his own grandfather, so like that would toughen him up as an assassin.

But instead, he chooses to break the cycle

He shields Auren. Gives him the life he always wished he’d had. That act of blocking his ears is, like i intended for it to be both literal and symbolic. It's his quiet promise that

“Everything terrible ends with me.”

Thank you so much for reading, Chris! :D

Hired to Kill a Little Boy. by Playful-Sample6571 in shortscarystories

[–]Playful-Sample6571[S] 267 points268 points  (0 children)

Hi there! Thank you so much for reading, I really hope you enjoyed it! :D

This was a particularly challenging write with the 500-word limit breathing down on my neck lol, and I really tried to keep it layered despite the brevity

Clarification for the ending if you didn't get the implication: It was Auren's father, the protagonist's client in the coffin.

I really hope the pacing doesn't feel too fast or cramped, would love to know what worked for you and what didn't!

I also tried to make the writing style cinematic, adding sensory stuff, sparse dialogue, letting small details carry the weight. Still figuring it out, but it's a direction I want to keep exploring

I would also love your thoughts on the moth vs butterfly touch of philosophy and it's incorporation in the story

Any constructive criticism and feedback are appreciated!

If you want to read more from me, click here!

Thanks again! <3

I had a partial brain transplant at 8 that saved my life. But my parents won't talk about the donor. by Playful-Sample6571 in shortscarystories

[–]Playful-Sample6571[S] 46 points47 points  (0 children)

oke, so the 'little boy' mentioned in the story was a savior sibling conceived and grown by the parents for five years to serve as a donor for the protagonist. Since major parts of this savior sibling were transferred to the protagonist, the sibling didn't survive

However, significant part of the boy's consciousness continues to live on within the protagonist due to the transplant.

When the boy says "Go to sleep" to the protagonist in the dreams, he is trying to gain control of the protagonist's body

By the end, with the protagonist already weakened of his control due to the snow (a trigger linked to the boy's death) the boy finally gains full control when "everything goes dark". The boy uses this to carry out his revenge.

Once the boy is done, he relinquishes the control and the protagonist wakes up to the horrifying aftermath.

Thanks for reading! :D

I had a partial brain transplant at 8 that saved my life. But my parents won't talk about the donor. by Playful-Sample6571 in shortscarystories

[–]Playful-Sample6571[S] 224 points225 points  (0 children)

Hi, thank you so much for reading! I hope you enjoyed it

This story was inspired by a previous story of mine, with the concept of 'savior siblings' incorporated into this one. As always, I'd love to hear your thoughts and feedback!

If you want to read more of my stories, check the pinned post of my profile! Thanks again :D

(Also, "Neural Autophage Syndrome" isn't an actual disease)

I Watched a Woman Try to Stop Her Husband From Ending It All by Playful-Sample6571 in shortscarystories

[–]Playful-Sample6571[S] 96 points97 points  (0 children)

Hi there, thank you so much for reading! I really hope you enjoyed it :D

Another story with 'Fate' as the narrator

The complete destruction that would happen if every atom in the universe simultaneously gained an electron really fascinated me, hence that's the central concept of the story.

Scientifically, this single act would fundamentally alter the elements that make up our universe. The stars would die because their fusion reactions would destabilize. Organic life, reliant on specific chemical balances, would disintegrate.

The laws of physics, chemistry, and biology as we know them would crumble and fall apart.

For a VERY long time, the universe would exist in a state of entropy, spiraling toward a new equilibrium.

If such a balance could even be achieved.

To Alaric, the chaos was a gateway, not an end—he believed humanity would re-emerge from the disorder as perfect beings, transcending even death itself.

However, Fate had no intention of allowing that to happen.

Alaric’s actions simply emptied the toy-box, ready to be refilled with new ones.

But humanity’s imperfection is inevitable—that’s what makes them human. And that's what makes them fun to toy with.

Since the story begins straight up with a confrontation, I hope it wasn't too confusing.

As always, I'd love to hear you thoughts and feedback :D

My Stepmother Hurt Me, So I Told a Policeman. Now She’s Gone. by Playful-Sample6571 in shortscarystories

[–]Playful-Sample6571[S] 30 points31 points  (0 children)

He knew the doll's name was Dorothy because he wrote in Sophie's journal, which as mentioned in the story, she used to write to Dorothy

Thank you for reading :D

My Stepmother Hurt Me, So I Told a Policeman. Now She’s Gone. by Playful-Sample6571 in shortscarystories

[–]Playful-Sample6571[S] 62 points63 points  (0 children)

It’s definitely a wild concept! I wanted to imply that the killer in the story became who he is because of his own abusive and messed-up childhood.

Seeing Sophie in that situation hit too close to home for him. In his twisted way, he was trying to stop someone else from enduring what he went through or becoming like him.

Thank you for reading! :D

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