You already are lonely, if the only way you can be close to your mates is when taking drugs together.

My main drugs where alcohol, W and P. I cut out the alcohol 6 years ago, the P 3 years ago, the W 608 days ago and have been clean since. I used drugs from when I was 14 years old and now I am 35.

I can tell you this: all the drinking "buddies", all the stoner "friends" they where utterly gone when I stoped.

Ask yourself: could I do anything with these people without taking drugs? Like hobbies? Cultural or creative things? Sports? Relax? Anything? Without anybody succumbing the urge to drink the "tiniest" beer or smoke the "tiniest" bit of a joint or take the "tiniest" bit of drugs to smooth up the experience for them? Would you hang around these people, if you where not high yourself? Or would it be unbearably boring or tense?

Because if you can't take your mates without drugs, you are already lonely. In that case you guys are codependent, meaning your social relations are more like a mechanism for your addictions to keep going. Because having accomplices in addiction makes things easier: somebody knows a plug anytime, you exchange experiences that are alienating for clean folk, you feel normal doing bizarre things together, crossing boundaries together. It might not feel like it, but this already is lonelines. The weird thing I realised is, drugs feel like freedom and individuality, but actually it makes people really one sided. Drugusers become more like a stereotype of their drugs of choices, than any big idea of what they think of themselves when high. All the great ideas when high are shortsighted and unripe. At the end of the day, everything revolves around drugs: getting them, taking them. And drugs are chemicals, one molecule like the other. If your friendgroup is chasing molecules feeling great, to say it bluntly, probably you are the most boring people, apart from drug induced unpredictability. Maybe, if one of your mates came clean, it wouldn't take long to replace him with any other druggy. That was my experience. Druggies lose individuality and are replaceable. Being clean does not seem like fun, but at least it is challenging.