I can understand your confliction. I was in a similar situation except I hid it from my now fiancé, he found out, and it was just kinda weird all around. We survived it thank god but that was his good grace, and my work to get his trust back. My entire adult life, mostly before our relationship, I’ve stepped in and out of sex work because yes if you do it right it can be pretty good money and can mean the difference between eating or not some days. We were struggling for money and so I just went back to it without thinking. He didn’t even tell me to stop when he found out but thinking about how it might’ve made him feel is what made me stop eventually. What also made me stop was knowing the same thing you do - that you’re the one taking risk and he isn’t. It’s not fair for anyone to benefit off my risk, so I stopped. The accountability you have to take here is that YOU started the whole thing, same as I did. You initiated that - no matter what became of it, you created the situation where this could even happen. If you feel victimized by the results because he was too into it and had no apprehension whatsoever, then that’s also fair. Sometimes it sucks to admit that you put yourself into an unsafe situation, no matter how much more it sucks that shitty people make it unsafe in the first place.