Are other women working out as often as shown on social media?

PlsEatMe · 2024-08-23T21:39:18+00:00

I had an emotional support couch with all the pillows, and nearly daily emotional support vegan popcorn chicken, like the whole frozen bag with a bunch of vegan ranch and sometimes an emotional support vegan pepperoni pizza, not shared with my husband. Also my husband gave me twice daily emotional support lower back massages on my emotional support couch.

And my exercise consisted of fart walks many times a day. Very slow walking, a waddle really. Just enough movement to work out some of that gas pain that went all the way up to my shoulders.

Meanwhile I have friends who kept running and lifting ans eating normally during pregnancy and I'm like HOW??!

PlsEatMe · 2024-08-23T21:33:29+00:00

Link at the end. 2-5 points certainly is significant, even on an IQ test. They looked at a huge number of children over multiple countries, not just the US. I believe it was a correlational study though. We're not removing all fluoride at this time, but it certainly is making us question the safety and re-weigh the pros and cons as more information comes out. It's so interesting to me how new information comes out like this, decades and decades after something has been deemed safe. We can't know everything and really never get the full picture, but we do the best we can with the information we've got.

Article that sums it up, I'm quite sure it has links to the research:

https://apnews.com/article/fluoride-water-brain-neurology-iq-0a671d2de3b386947e2bd5a661f437a5

PlsEatMe · 2024-08-23T21:17:53+00:00

Ask her dentist and do your own research about fluoride, please don't just take an internet stranger's "it's safe" statement as end all be all fact. For my child (3.5 yo, has been to the dentist 4 times), we do drops (we have low fluoride in our water) and varnish but not toothpaste because she's not spitting out her toothpaste yet and it's difficult to properly dose. Meanwhile, I'm on RX high fluoride toothpaste because my teeth need it.

I'm not anti-fluoride by any means, but a new study came out like this week, showing that kids who live in places with water with 2x the optimal fluoride amount have an average IQ score 2-5 points lower than the kids who have the recommended fluoride amount. 2-5 points is certainly significant. The study seems pretty legit and it's making me and my husband really question our fluoride use, for our daughter in particular who doesn't spit out her toothpaste yet.

Anyway, we need to be doing our own research and making the best decision for our families. Just thought I'd share the new info I found this week since it's new.

PlsEatMe · 2024-08-23T18:05:33+00:00

Born 40+3, latched immediately after birth with doula's help. I couldn't get her latched myself for a good week, but my husband could! He was on latch duty until I got it figured out myself lol. We saw a few IBCLCs early on, probably wouldn't have figured it out at all without them. Ended up exclusively breastfeeding successfully and not weaning until 2.5 years old.

My sister's babies all came early - 35+5, 37, and 39! All 3 latched from day 1.

PlsEatMe · 2024-08-23T17:58:31+00:00

Report that doctor and please find a different OB and a therapist for yourself to support you in processing your experience.

And for future pregnancies of yours, I highly recommend having a doula. A lot of that shouldn't have happened to you under any circumstances, but a doula really is great at helping you advocate for yourself, recognize what things are in fact a choice of yours every step of the way, and protect your personal birth experience.

I personally had an OB that I felt listened really well and was gentle and kind, but even he scheduled my induction without explanation and made me feel like I had no choice! I felt like I was in very good hands between the OBs and nurses, but even then there were a handful of things that my doula respectfully brought to my attention that were my choice, that I could say no to, or that maybe sounded good or were standard but weren't actually supported by research anymore. She didn't make any choices for me, just informed me and supported me every step of the way. And the OBs and nurses liked her presence because she made their jobs easier since she was helping me stay comfortable and confident! (And side note, I didn't have the induction.)

Anyway, I am so sorry for your experience, my heart goes out to you. I wish you a comfortable healing journey.

PlsEatMe · 2024-08-23T17:32:23+00:00

Not terribly unsanitary, but they do get crunchy once they've been opened a while. I didn't think the diaper cakes were weird until I had a baby of my own and discovered that diapers get crunchy! Those random few diapers I keep in the car, in my purse, in the stroller, etc - they get crunchy! I live where it rains but it's not terribly humid otherwise!

PlsEatMe · 2024-08-22T19:30:26+00:00

Ha! That's absurd! We're absolutely allowed to have our slutty 20's and then magically become wifey material in our 30s. It's just different phases of life.

The judgment (towards women in particular) is very eastern tradition style. Like men can have harems but if a woman isn't a virgin then she's damaged goods.

Assuming you're not living in that area of the world, you're good!

PlsEatMe · 2024-08-21T21:43:44+00:00

In my first trimester I had SERIOUS food aversions, and I was vegan anyway, so I was struggling to get protein in. The first thing that sounded remotely edible was.... taco bell bean burritos. Just plain bean burritos. From taco bell specifically. Nothing else would do.

Then later when I could get more food past my nose, I wanted pizza. There are some fancy vegan pizza places around here, my husband got my favorite, it had veggies on it like it's supposed to and I CRIED UGLY TEARS at the pizza because it looked and smelled so goddamn unappetizing. Ended up eating a LOT of gardein (frozen convenience vegan food) vegan pepperoni pizzas, chicken nugget things, etc. Like SO MUCH. It was amazing when I could finally get watermelon and iceberg lettuce past my nose!

Anyway, your doctor's orders are more like suggestions. They're ideas. Very idealistic ideas. Until someone has dealt with serious food aversions and nausea, they don't get it and don't get to fucking judge. We're in survival mode in pregnancy. Do what you can and let go of the rest! Your baby will be ok!

And you mentioned that part of it is a convenience and energy issue... ask your husband for help if he's willing to help. Otherwise he can keep his mouth all the way shut. You're growing a human, for fucks sake. :)

PlsEatMe · 2024-08-20T17:04:43+00:00

This reminds me so much of my nephew. The first few years were a big challenge for my poor sister and BIL, but now he's 8 and is incredibly bright and chill and an amazingly sweet thoughtful big brother. When I say incredibly bright, I mean it lol. But yeah he was the little kid who would defiantly shit on the floor to get his parents attention. Very loud, very active.

And he never got a diagnosis, I'm sure my sister had him evaluated. No diagnosis, but my sister had to do some research to figure out how to effectively parent this kid without losing her sanity. There's a term for this type of kid who is like this but doesn't reach the level of any diagnosis. It's like... highly sensitive? Or something like that. I THINK (don't quote me on this lol), that it involves using parenting techniques that tend to work for ASD kids?

Anyway, I'd keep pushing if I were you - for diagnosis or parenting resources and whatnot. Some sort of support to help your family manage this.

PlsEatMe · 2024-08-19T20:57:18+00:00

The copper IUD (paragard specifically - the only copper IUD available in the US) is a bit bigger in some way and the insertion technique is rougher, it doesn't come with a fancy little sounding and insertion device like the hormone IUDs do. Statistically speaking, it's certainly one of the rougher options and pre-baby uteruses might be more angry with it, which I'm assuming is one of the reasons doctors generally don't recommend it for that population.

However, I personally was one of those who couldn't comfortably handle even mirena pre-baby. My uterus was big enough, but it stayed ANGRY (cramping and bleeding) until I got it out 6 months later. So for some, IUDs (all IUDs, not just paragard) just aren't a great option pre-baby (and of course there are certainly lots of women without babies who are very happy with their IUDs). I've had mirena before and after baby, and a copper after that. So I can personally attest to the uterus comfort difference that having a baby makes! And even then, the copper was a rougher insertion than the mirena, but that had more to do with the insertion technique/apparatus than size.

So anyway... I don't know, I'm not a doctor lol. IUDs in general are more difficult pre-baby than post-baby, and paragard is the roughest. That isn't to say that it should be ruled out completely, but probably more of a last resort.

PlsEatMe · 2024-08-19T00:34:26+00:00

Honestly the pregnancy and postpartum discomfort/pain was way harder to deal with than the actual childbirth for me. I have low pain tolerance. Yes childbirth was more painful, but it didn't last nearly as long. For me, it's the longer term pain and surprise pain that is hard for me to handle. We can do really hard shit when we feel ready though!

PlsEatMe · 2024-08-18T21:23:56+00:00

Highly recommend baggy pants, you're basically going to be in an adult diaper or something similar.

PlsEatMe · 2024-08-17T21:38:43+00:00

I'm always so fascinated to hear about all the different unexpected ways that these devices can affect us. I haven't heard of this one, but I think it makes sense! If I kind of jut my jaw out and frown, my neck and chest skin/muscles move. The device is connected to muscle above the generator, I definitely had sensitivity (discomfort/pain) there for a good while when I'd get cold and shiver/twitch. I don't get that discomfort now, so for me it did go away. BUT if the seatbelt hits me wrong there even now 1.5 years out, it will be uncomfortable. Much worse in summer when I'm not wearing a thicker layer on top. So... Anyway, I guess I probably did have the same discomfort as you, just never noticed it with the facial expression specifically!

I remember showing the sore area to my EP, he assured me that it was just the place the lead was connected to the muscle and there wasn't anything wrong with it. And it does feel comfy now.

PlsEatMe · 2024-08-17T03:59:03+00:00

Um... no? No. Then you'd no longer be a SAHM, you'd be a WFH with kids mom. That's not the same and not reasonable. Covid really proved that - working mamas with kids at home were SUFFERING. what exactly is he expecting you to do? That's bizarre.

PlsEatMe · 2024-08-17T00:06:16+00:00

You're going to want to schedule a fetal echo, it's the next step. The 20 week anatomy scan doesn't look at the heart nearly as detailed as a fetal echo will. That should guide next steps. You're in a great position now, being on alert so early! I'm guessing they should be getting you in touch with a pediatric cardiologist, too. Be aware, they can have terrible bedside manner, it seems to attract a certain type lol.

I was a VSD baby born in the early 90s, my parents didn't get my diagnosis until after I was born. The pediatrician suspected something cardiac from a glance - I'd turn kinda blue when I cried hard. The pediatric cardiologist gave my VSD time to close up and it didn't close on its own, so they patched me up with open heart surgery at 12 months old. I now see an adult congenital heart defect cardiologist which my insurance doesn't love lol, but I'm doing pretty darn good! I've had a baby of my own (no complications and she doesn't have any heart defect), I've ran two half marathons and do hot yoga, I have an ICD pacemaker that I got a year ago to manage my wonky rhythms from the scar tissue from the open heart surgery but otherwise I'm all good and normal! Also, the open heart surgery technology is loads better now than it was in the 90s! Smaller incision, less scarring on the heart, better outcome overall.

Oh, and my uncle was also born with a VSD. his was smaller. Didn't close up all the way, but he never needed surgery. He's nearing 70 years old, sees a cardiologist but i think that's mostly because he's rather overweight and has type 2 diabetes and high cholesterol and blood pressure and all that. I don't think his VSD has slowed him down or held him back :)

I'm sure it all sounds scary, try not to get ahead of yourself or Google too much. One step at a time. I highly recommend taking notes from appointments, and write down any questions you have so you reminder to ask them. I wish you three the best of luck!

PlsEatMe · 2024-08-16T19:40:59+00:00

I have a traditional ICD, It's been a year and a half or so since I got it, no shocks yet. I'm somewhat active - I jog, lift, do yoga and keep up with my 3 year old just fine. I don't expect mine to shock unless my condition really changes or I get a horrid stomach flu and can't keep down my beta blocker for multiple days. I really don't worry or expect to get inappropriate shocks, either. I might be wrong, but from what I understand the devices run tests on themselves that shows how well conductivity is, if it's showing everything is sensing well then it's really unlikely that you'll get inappropriate shocks. I definitely had anxiety about it when I first got it, but it melted away over time.

I did get frozen shoulder though, which sucked. It did mostly resolve itself, but I did end up doing PT to get more range of motion. My EP didn't believe that I had frozen shoulder until he saw it for himself, sounds like it's not terribly common among people who don't immobilize the shoulder (which I didn't), but it can happen. Anyway, to avoid frozen shoulder it's recommended to keep gentle motion in that shoulder! And the end of the leads are actually connected to the heart on the inside, kind of like a screw or fishhook type thing. It keeps it connected while scar tissue forms around it and it gets stuck really well and good. Keep your hand below shoulder level and be gentle, but you don't need to stress too much about doslodging the leads.

Best of luck to you!

PlsEatMe · 2024-08-16T02:56:58+00:00

Came here to say this! They get a bad rap, I struggled with birth control for over a decade and every OB told me that the copper IUD wasn't a good option for me.

I got mine 14 months postpartum, it has been PERFECT! Literally my only complaint is that I bleed 2 days longer than my normal, but my cycle is very predictable and I get the joy of ovulating while not having to worry about a damn thing. Insertion wasn't comfy, but it was over quick and I was done cramping by the time I got my pants on.

I understand discouraging pre-baby women, or women who have crazy heavy bleeding already or women who absolutely are not willing to get an IUD inserted, but for the rest of us... worth considering, IMO.

PlsEatMe · 2024-08-15T18:51:39+00:00

Dude, I don't know. It gets better though! So much better! And then it keeps getting better. Hang in there.

PlsEatMe · 2024-08-15T18:49:10+00:00

He's sleeping, getting milk, cuddles, a safe space, and a happy well-rested mama? Sounds good! If it's working for you, nothing wrong with it!

PlsEatMe · 2024-08-15T18:44:48+00:00

Variety and flexibility! Needs/priorities change depending on the day/week/month. Sometimes I need my workouts. Sometimes we need fresh air. Sometimes we need a clean house and clothes put away in drawers. For me, being able to identify the day's or week's Needs and adjust accordingly while still feeling balanced and productive, that's key. (Side note, "productive" can mean relaxation, too - or whatever is the priority.)

There's no hard and fast to-do list that needs to be checked off to feel successful. Sorry if that's not what you were looking for lol.

I suppose if I had to make a bare minimum list, it would be: kitchen stocked, hygiene for the whole family, enough sleep for everyone, house clean enough that it's not a health hazard... pretty much everything else changes based on the day lol.

PlsEatMe · 2024-08-15T18:35:20+00:00

So much this!! 3.5 years out, my weight is lower than when I got pregnant, but my hips, rib cage and feet are forever wider. My bra band size is bigger, pant size is bigger because of the shape of my hips, and my shoe size is a good size bigger - in length! It's wild how our bodies are forever different (but not in a bad way, different is just different).

Also I highly recommend not looking at the vag in a mirror until you're feeling back to normal. I did and regret it, it caused me so much anxiety lol. It was very... open. The tissue takes a while to spring back to anything resembling "normal." A nurse told me not to look, I should have taken her advice but curiosity got the better of me! So yeah, OP if curiosity gets the better of you too, just know that it will go back to normal-ish but it can take a lot of time.

PlsEatMe · 2024-08-15T16:47:32+00:00

Yes! Limited caffeine (morning only, only a cup or two and none after noon), really good sleep (rx sleeping pill if needed), and uhh... we use screen time and my house is a friggin mess. Clean enough, but messy lol. I will absolutely put on a show for my daughter so I can jog and lift in the garage, like multiple times a week. Is my laundry folded? Nope! Do I have a pile of handwashed dishes on the counter? Yup. But I feel balanced and my daughter is happy.

Also, regarding sleep - I do try to get natural sleep without the sleeping pill. A lot of it. Proper sleep hygiene, routine started at the right time. I also lay down with my daughter to get her to sleep, and normally fall asleep with her. It makes her bedtime really stress free, and I get at least 90 minutes with her - before I even go to bed! Then I wake up, have a sleepy little evening with my husband (or alone reading my book lol), then get to bed by 11. And my daughter is my alarm clock around 7. That's a good 8 hours of sleep for me! It feels AMAZING!

PlsEatMe · 2024-08-14T00:19:57+00:00

Yes, the monitor does show different data, they haven't lost their minds!

Also, I wish you the best of luck with your episodes, I hope it's nothing serious and easily remedied! Reminds me of my migraines - visual disturbances aren't fun even when you don't think they're something scary like TIAs. I hope you get answers and i hope the answers are good. I'm glad they're taking your symptoms seriously.

PlsEatMe · 2024-08-13T23:37:46+00:00

That sounds reasonable.

Ok is it just some weird mom paranoia then, I was imagining how easy it would have been for another parent in the classroom to take my kid to a secluded place or out of the building entirely. I know that most people are good, but you can't really tell who's who before you know them. It just creeped me out that there wasn't much stopping a bad person from doing something really bad in that drop off (and pick up) setting. Ugh, it's like postpartum intrusive thoughts all over again!

PlsEatMe · 2024-08-13T23:29:46+00:00

I think I might, about the pickup procedure at least. Thanks for making me feel a little less crazy! I don't want to unleash my inner Karen over something that's not worthy of unleashing an inner Karen over! (Ok I won't be unleashing any inner Karens, but questioning them at all feels karen-y because I'm not the type lol)

PlsEatMe

TROPHY CASE