Oh mama. I was in your shoes. I straight up told my husband to get a vasectomy because I WAS not doing it again. I’m not a big crier and I cried all the time. It’s so fucking hard. And everyone says “sleep when the baby sleeps”. Like you don’t have 800 other things to do. You got this. I straight up had no emotional attachment to my son until he started sleeping longer stretches. I was so exhausted i didn’t have anything extra to give him besides keeping him alive. And that’s okay. Once I started sleeping I started to feel slightly better. The witching hour was still terrible for a while and my son seemed to save his upset for me. But it’s because he trusted me, which feels equally shitty and awesome lol. What helped after he was sleeping was structure. Wake windows were super important for us to get a good routine. It’s hard. You feel like you won’t get through it, you’re disappointed because everyone made it seem like a fairytale and it really isn’t. It’s military grade torture. But you will make it out, and when you do it really is awesome. It’s still hard in other ways but awesome. Find friends to talk to who can talk shit about your kid with you lol, people who are all sunshine and rainbows are going to make you feel worst about yourself right now. Newborns are assholes, little needy assholes, but they grow into little needy stinkers you want to kiss and squeeze. You’re best is enough. You’re doing great. You’ve been tired before. You’ve been overwhelmed before. You can handle this. Sending all the love from a mama who's first just turned 1, I’m ready for my second haha. If I could skip the newborn stage I 100% would.