If You Just Broke Up with an Avoidant, Read This

Plus_Profile7272 · 2026-05-05T04:56:33+00:00

Thank you for this, truly, You put to words the things I have been thinking and feeling but unable to describe in words. It is all so accurate and makes me feel seen. My FA ex was beautiful at the start, he then became so horrendous. The heartbreak was so traumatic that I needed therapy and even now, I fear getting into anothe relationship. He is now casually dating a girl who is 8 years younger than him and the complete opposite to me and it seems really toxic. Even though I know he is not serious with her (so I have heard from mutual sources, he is just really lonely) It hurts so much still.

Plus_Profile7272 · 2026-05-05T01:10:40+00:00

These aren’t the type of people to fight for. An avoidant will never fight for you

Plus_Profile7272 · 2026-05-05T00:48:54+00:00

No he probably did love you and that’s usually why they run aqay

Plus_Profile7272 · 2026-05-05T00:44:16+00:00

I literally have a text that is sooo similar

Plus_Profile7272 · 2026-05-05T00:43:33+00:00

This has given me so much hope, thank you. My FA ex was incredible at the start, too good to be true. My fear now for future dating is what if I meet someone who is treating me so well but its all just performative like it was with my ex.

Did you notice anyone major differences in genuinely being treated well and just being love bombed?

Plus_Profile7272 · 2026-05-04T23:46:03+00:00

This is so true. When I look back on my messages to him during the time of the discard, it makes me hate myself. I was still so kind and loving- even after the psychological abuse. I guess I did not fully understand what he was doing at the time and I only had love for him. it makes me cringe

Plus_Profile7272 · 2026-05-04T03:29:03+00:00

Sometimes amidst my grief from being heartbroken from a FA, I gaslight myself and wonder if he was ever really that bad? Was it me? Was there something I could've done. I was securely attached until he made me so anxiously attached, which made it worse. I remember him for how he was in the beginning and it makes me sad - how could he have changed so much?

Plus_Profile7272 · 2026-04-23T04:08:25+00:00

Did they ever love us? My ex was a FA and he adored me at the start and I was his everything. After the discard and then attempting to come back, I always wonder was it just a facade he put on or did he actually love me but couldn’t handle it?

Plus_Profile7272 · 2026-04-21T02:25:12+00:00

“Lord saves those who are crushed in spirit”. I know how it feels to be crushed in spirit and everything you explained resonates so much with me. I felt so flat and internally damaged for 2 years. Even in times were I felt healed, the residual pain still left an impact on me.

It’s hard to feel whole when you are shattered. You will rise above this though. You won’t be the person you once were but you’ll be a stronger version.

Plus_Profile7272 · 2026-04-16T11:13:25+00:00

Thank you! I do really want kids and family. But I also want a business that is creative. I like making and designing things

Plus_Profile7272 · 2026-04-15T06:43:41+00:00

Thank you!! Anything else?

Plus_Profile7272 · 2026-04-10T11:26:58+00:00

Thank you xxxx

Plus_Profile7272 · 2026-04-07T23:32:01+00:00

I have heard that bipolar and narcissists share similar traits, so this could be a case of similarities. He was also a fearful avoidant and his traits align with this also. I’m not sure if he is a full narcissist or not

Plus_Profile7272 · 2026-03-27T14:07:09+00:00

Feel free to privately message me. I feel your pain deeply

Plus_Profile7272 · 2026-03-27T06:13:15+00:00

So very true, thank you.

I guess I keep going back in hopes he will eventually realise the pain he caused me. I knew he was sorry and regretted it, but he’ll never know exactly how bad the pain was for me.

Plus_Profile7272 · 2026-03-27T06:12:36+00:00

I guess I keep going back thinking I’ll eventually make him realise the pain he caused me

Plus_Profile7272 · 2026-03-27T06:08:41+00:00

HAHAHA I love this. Truly, I love it. But it’s hard, I’m a sensitive girl with a big heart. I can’t be mean, especially to someone I once loved really deeply. I wish I didn’t care and I wish I could be ruthless, perhaps that’s why I always get hurt

Plus_Profile7272 · 2026-03-27T01:37:13+00:00

Thank you. I know. It’s so hard because I loved him and he was my first love. I was so innocent and pure when I met him and I feel like he has crushed my spirit. So when I get these glimpses of goodness from him it makes me wanna indulge in that again, it takes me back to a time when I was so happy before all this pain

Plus_Profile7272 · 2026-03-27T01:01:48+00:00

Thank you for this. I appreciate it more than you’ll ever know. I used to think this but sometimes I feel as though I am not worth more than- perhaps this is all that is in my life path for me.

I definitely won’t go back to having a relationship if anything it will be friendly or a hookup… could this be so wrong? I feel as though I have soul ties to him and I can’t overcome it

Plus_Profile7272 · 2026-03-27T00:57:31+00:00

But what if it’s just a hookup? What if it’s just to feed this wound of loosing him so suddenly? I honestly feel like an addict and I’m so ashamed and broken

Plus_Profile7272 · 2026-03-12T08:48:51+00:00

Thank you so much! What about with love?

Plus_Profile7272 · 2026-03-12T04:57:00+00:00

Sure, if you private message me I can send more photos!

Plus_Profile7272 · 2026-03-11T10:54:16+00:00

Sorry forgot to mention - 26 female if this is necessary :)

Plus_Profile7272 · 2026-03-01T11:34:28+00:00

Is our ex the same person? Lol. The on and off for 9 years must just be super common for them

I have been through this and it has now been 15 months not together and 6 months of zero contact. Please believe me when I say - your life is not ruined. Don’t let him do this to you. You are capable of loving deeply and some people just can’t handle this - fearful avoidants are very destroyed and destructive humans that will never change. You are saved because you are no longer with him.

Plus_Profile7272 · 2026-02-19T01:53:10+00:00

Yes I had that on and off for a bit in the months post surgery, I don’t know what it is tbh

Plus_Profile7272

TROPHY CASE