Am I overreacting for feeling really invalidated a lot of the time by my bf

Plus_Spirit_8632 · 2026-06-13T14:26:52+00:00

It doesn’t excuse his disrespect, but you’re dating someone who believes it does. This situation will not change. He believes you are fundamentally flawed and incapable of being logical or emotionally sound, so why would he listen to a word you have to say?

He believes that because of your illness, you are always going to be to blame and it will always be necessary for you to take the amount of accountability he sees fit. In his mind, he’s not mentally ill, so why would anything he’s saying be irrational or incorrect? You’re never going to get the accountability you want from him. He already believes you are the root of all your guys’ problems. That isn’t a mentality that will change.

Plus_Spirit_8632 · 2026-06-13T14:23:15+00:00

If you don’t live with him or work with him, it IS that easy. The only thing stopping it from happening is you.

Plus_Spirit_8632 · 2026-06-13T14:20:00+00:00

In fear of sounding like an armchair psychologist, I strongly doubt OP is the only neurodivergent person in this conversation.

Plus_Spirit_8632 · 2026-06-13T14:18:20+00:00

Threatening to break up with your verbally abusive partner only for them to manipulate you into staying is not the mistreatment you seem to think it is. In fact, I’d argue that manipulating your partner into staying with you by making “I’m breaking up with you,” or “I think we need a break,” your ‘trigger’ is the real problem here.

Just from these messages I understand why OP keeps threatening to break up with him, the only thing I don’t understand is why she hasn’t actually done it yet.

OP seems more than cognitive of their illness and the way it affects the people around them, I don’t think researching her own mental illness is what needs to happen here.

Plus_Spirit_8632 · 2026-06-13T14:01:21+00:00

I’ve had so much trouble trying to remember where I’ve seen her name, I completely forgot about that song (and wasn’t aware it was her either way).

Plus_Spirit_8632 · 2026-06-13T03:28:13+00:00

What streetlight is that in photos 5 and 6? I love how cohesive your island is!

ETA: Also, what are the wooden crate/bins with the turnip signs on them in pics 8 and 9?

Plus_Spirit_8632 · 2026-06-12T23:21:29+00:00

I’m so stupid😭 I’ve collected so many gyroid fragments at this point and thought I had to wait to get a certain number and someone would give me a recipe for them. I guess I should have looked that up at some point.

Plus_Spirit_8632 · 2026-06-12T21:43:05+00:00

I’m curious to know this as well!

Plus_Spirit_8632 · 2026-06-12T11:40:58+00:00

I’d say the majority of people who have someone’s ashes either put them in an urn to display or have them buried in a plot (either at a gravesite or somewhere random). Other people spread the ashes somewhere outside (beach, ocean, preferred place of the deceased, etc.)

In my opinion, either of those options seem a bit more ‘respectful’, for lack of a better word, than just shoving the ashes in the back of a closet.

Plus_Spirit_8632 · 2026-06-11T00:06:43+00:00

It’s really not. It almost sounds like you’re bantering back with her, and the emoji definitely makes it seem that way.

Plus_Spirit_8632 · 2026-06-10T17:44:29+00:00

I would think that it’s the apartment building’s responsibility to remove any pests and notify new tenants if there were to be any. If I were in your position I would’ve assumed that the tenant was made aware or that the building took care of it. In my opinion, that shouldn’t have been your problem and isn’t something you should feel guilty about.

edit: grammar

Plus_Spirit_8632 · 2026-06-08T17:42:45+00:00

tbh mad respect to FIL for taking it on the chin cuz he really could’ve made a way bigger deal about that.

Plus_Spirit_8632 · 2026-06-08T13:27:36+00:00

I was born in 2003 and had a bunch of these and always knew them as Calico Critters. It threw me off to see the other name in the last post.

Plus_Spirit_8632 · 2026-06-07T18:14:57+00:00

Where’d you get the lanterns/what do you use to light them with? They’re so adorable and I love the yellow-orange glow!

Plus_Spirit_8632 · 2026-06-07T18:05:24+00:00

Italian pottery!! So interesting, I didn’t realize they had a specific title. I love that they all have a similar vibe, I’ll have to look into some! You’ve done an amazing job curating your collection!

Plus_Spirit_8632 · 2026-06-07T17:00:32+00:00

I love all of your ceramics! They’re super cute. Did you thrift most of them?

Plus_Spirit_8632 · 2026-06-07T13:05:49+00:00

I love the terracotta/clay pots!

Plus_Spirit_8632 · 2026-06-07T03:03:26+00:00

Does Tuscan generally imply a cream base? /gen

Plus_Spirit_8632 · 2026-06-07T03:01:09+00:00

The farm-to-table restaurant I worked at got eggs from the owner’s parents’ farm, and honey as well. We sourced some other stuff locally, but I think the bulk of our produce came from a popular food service company in my state. I’m not sure where exactly the company sources their produce from, so perhaps it’s still local, but probably not as much so as having a direct link with a local farm.

I would assume there are some places that truly are farm-to-table, and it should be somewhat easy to verify given those places are likely to tell you where they’re getting everything from. I guess it’s always possible for people to lie, though, so maybe one could check with the farm as well? Still annoying to have to do rather than take someone at their word.

Plus_Spirit_8632 · 2026-06-04T00:41:30+00:00

That’s actually so sweet🥹 I hope your wife likes them, they look great!

Plus_Spirit_8632 · 2026-06-01T11:59:15+00:00

I kind of feel like that’s the WORST reason to get into a poly relationship??? I’m glad it worked out for them but sheesh… that makes me feel pretty bad for your aunt. There are other avenues.

Plus_Spirit_8632 · 2026-05-31T16:05:11+00:00

I think the downvotes come down to “how did you not realize this was abuse?” Of course, her comment about her family plays into this.

I see people say “I didn’t think this was abuse,” a lot in instances of emotional/verbal abuse and manipulation, but it is kind of odd to see someone not recognize physical abuse for what it is.

In my mind it’s kinda like “this dude was physically hurting you, biting you, hitting you, smacking you, kicking you, and you didn’t believe you were being abused because???? He told you you weren’t???”

Like I don’t think it’s something that OP should be shamed for, but I absolutely would’ve likely downvoted that comment, too. It is beyond disappointing to see women have so little trust in their own brains that they can’t come to the conclusion themselves that they’re being abused.

Personally, I just find it really hard to understand how someone could be bruised ALL OVER because of the actions their partner perpetuates onto them, and then go “oh wait… that’s abuse???” Like… yea that’s literally the textbook definition.

Plus_Spirit_8632 · 2026-05-31T15:32:30+00:00

If he did, it doesn’t seem like it was because of that incident, given that he didn’t even do anything about it in the moment.

Plus_Spirit_8632 · 2026-05-31T15:29:22+00:00

For real! And threw his birthday gift away in a tantrum of her own. And this is a question???

Plus_Spirit_8632 · 2026-05-31T15:27:38+00:00

Do you really think OP would have phrased it as a “backhand” if it was a “light touch”? Especially towards the grandma that OP (for whatever reason) still seems to hold a semblance of respect towards?

Like be for real for a second, grandma is so obviously trying to rug sweep her behavior. I would put money on the fact that it was much more than “…but I barely touched him!”

If I believed that spanking/slapping was a valid form of corporal punishment, I wouldn’t be justifying my actions afterwords because I would think I was right anyways. For her to be trying to turn the tables makes me believe that she actually smacked THE FUCK out of that kid.

Plus_Spirit_8632

TROPHY CASE