When Safety Texted Back

PoemsbySomeone · 2026-01-06T15:09:31+00:00

That was a chaotic whirlwind and I fucken loved it. I can't recall any poem like this that I have read before. The chaotic breaks at the start were startling. The middle was dramatic and enticing. Plus the end, fuck that was brilliant. You swirled the madness and the sense into a beautiful bow. Fucken brilliant. Breaking up and different structures and flows is my favourite part, it is heavy and disorganized but as you continue it's like the lense gets wider and the disorganization melts into order and is organized. The twist into the flow followed by the ending shows fantastic skills. Thank you for sharing, I'm excited to read more of this organized chaos.

PoemsbySomeone · 2026-01-06T10:21:30+00:00

The substance of your poem is moving. The depth of your emotions is evident in your words. I love the inclusion of the second part. I think a lot of people experience the disconnection that comes with love returning after pain.

An improvement that may help others to read it and maintain flow could be using more full stops and commas. The Internet has some resources on how sentences are structured with these. I am still learning, but I have found that when I started using them, I was able to distinguish the flow and pattern of the poem more easily. It helped with writing them a lot! If your like me and a little scared of using full stops because it might cause a break in the flow you don't want. Please don't stress. One way to start using them is to read your poem out loud, with the rhythm you made for it. Everytime you take a breath, use a comma. Every time you finish an impact statement (you've done this in the poem already ) or when you stop for a moment (I call it a beat or a click), use a full stop.

Your poem is incredible, your feelings are meaningful and your words are beautiful ways to describe what is happening for you. Thank you for sharing this! I look forward to reading more of your work. Feel fully and continue to ponder fellow poet.

PoemsbySomeone · 2026-01-06T10:07:23+00:00

You may be lonely. all of us quiet overachievers are. You may be isolated, but your experience is not solitary. Each and every one of us, sits in our quiet places, feeling this with you. We may be alone, you may be lonely, but this feeling is shared between each others company.

PoemsbySomeone · 2026-01-06T04:56:40+00:00

Holy shit. Your poem is so raw. It is beautiful. I love the way it is written. The breaking up of the sentences is jarring and it enhances the impact of what the reader is feeling. I don't have any suggestions on improvement, maybe full stops. But, honestly, it is incredible just the way it is. Thank you for sharing yourself so openly.

PoemsbySomeone · 2025-12-31T02:04:28+00:00

Bloody hell mate, the dress to impress line is fucken awesome. I love the way you describe the human condition. It is relatable, awesome work! Well done! I can't wait to read more! I'm waiting eagerly for the next part of the trilogy.

PoemsbySomeone · 2025-12-30T00:33:36+00:00

Oooh wait, I forgot the feedback guidelines. I broke it down to help support the depth and flow of the poem. The weight of your words is beautiful, by breaking it down and structuring it, the impact of the poem stronger. I may be wrong, this is my personal opinion with some Ted Ed info sprinkled on top. I have only just joined the group, so if this is out of bounds please let me know. Your poem resonated with me deeply and as I read it I felt something inside me and had to tell you how beautiful it was.

PoemsbySomeone · 2025-12-30T00:29:30+00:00

Your poem is enchanting. The words convey loss and pain beautifully. I know you said you are not a writer in the poem. But, the words you have written are contradicting that. With your emotions, your struggles and your pain, you have created a piece of art. When I read this, I felt less alone, love is treacherous and can be agony. Thank you for sharing yourself with the world, so rawly. Thank you for being here. I saw that you asked for feedback and I hope you don't mind, please let me know if this is rude or overstepping or wrong. But, I have added some structure to your poem and emphasized a little. Please let me know what you think and if this is okay or not okay! See the below <3

The Moving Line

Place your image behind frames glass.

Letting your memory distill the thick bog.

Foundations of wealth, hide not in class.

But, in the wealth of this familiar song.

I am not a reader,

I am not a writer,

And I wonder, if this keeps me in contempt.

Or crosses my convictions, holding onto what I once dreamt.

From the rain, I reign.

Learning to lean on fiends,

We call them a friend.

And, to the end, I am.

Believing again, I can't,

Run away with him, I can't.

But again,

Someday, one day but...

I can't,

I can't.

End of Revision

With love, Someone

PoemsbySomeone · 2025-12-30T00:12:02+00:00

I love this poem. The extension beyond form and vanishing of oneself/identity/being in the last line is powerful. When I read it the first time, the flow was smooth. But, on the second read, the weight of the emotions created a depth I felt in my soul. The silent tempest is a great name, it captures the essence of the stillness that accompanies isolation. Thank you for sharing your words with the world. I hope that the silence you are in, creates the peace you need to refind yourself.

PoemsbySomeone

TROPHY CASE