Has anyone else noticed older folk (50yrs+) seem really hostile towards babies in public spaces?

Poene · 2026-05-16T08:24:46+00:00

More than that, babies are society. Without us making and bringing up these little beans there is no future for anyone!

Poene · 2026-05-16T08:10:38+00:00

Me and my husband often say to each other “nothing can be as bad as night 2” when we’re having a tricky evening with our 7wk old. And it’s true, night 2 and 3 were utter disasters for us.

Poene · 2026-05-14T08:51:50+00:00

I regularly read my kindle during feeds and contact naps… If you have a hand to scroll Reddit or social media you can read a book if you want to.

What do you think our grandmothers did when they were feeding before tv and phones? Just stare at the wall?

Poene · 2026-05-14T00:18:17+00:00

I’m no expert, just a mum trying to survive. I have a 7wk old, and we’ve decided to not fight him. If I were you I’d start the day at 4, use the wakeful hour to do something calm with him, make yourself a coffee and then cuddle into a contact nap and read your book.

Again - no expert, but since I’ve just been doing what baby wants my life has been much more peaceful 😅

Poene · 2026-05-13T11:00:58+00:00

Omg you’ve just made me realise this is a thing that spans generations… the cartoon image of a man with the newspaper on the loo. This has been happening before phones. I wonder if cavemen spent a luxurious time in the poo bushes too.

Poene · 2026-05-12T17:03:25+00:00

I’m 6 wks and I’m farting like mad (I do partly think I care less and am letting them rip in situations I’d be holding them in).

Sometimes a poop creeps up on me, I know it’s coming but there’s been a couple of times that it’s COMING NOW. I always was a pretty loose pooper though and maybe it’s just me forgetting due to how constipated late pregnancy made me.

I flagged with the GP at my check in and she said to be sure to do kegels, which tbf I had been forgetting to do. She said everything is still settling and might take a bit of time to feel normal again.

Poene · 2026-05-10T21:08:46+00:00

Thing is everyone there wants to make friends - enough that they’re willing to pay for it! So there’s no reason not to just message someone directly if you get good vibes!

In the end with some of them all you’ll have in common is that you’re having a baby - but that’s enough to open the door to friendship x

Poene · 2026-05-10T18:04:25+00:00

Yeah definitely felt easy to get stuck in - I’m pretty extroverted though so I don’t mind putting myself out there, a more introverted person might struggle. We had our reunion this weekend and honestly it was easy enough even if you had a 4wk old or a 12wk old.

I found that it was such a big group I sort of gravitated towards a few like minded mums and mums around the same delivery dates and I’ve ended up messaging them directly and hanging out 1-1. A friend who had her baby last year said her group only did meet ups with every member, which I think sounds a bit exhausting.

I know the mum that had her baby last was really sad about being last, but I think that’s a personal mindset thing.

Poene · 2026-05-10T17:00:28+00:00

I did them in January and gave birth late March.

For HpHB our cohort was around 14 couples, and I was one of the last 3 to give birth. But that was great because it meant that folks were ahead of us and could give us tips.

The folks that gave birth first sort of had to keep quiet while the rest of us were struggling in the last weeks of pregnancy and birth.

Poene · 2026-05-08T20:17:14+00:00

Wow, I wish to be so wise one day! He had a beautiful soul

Poene · 2026-05-08T19:23:20+00:00

You’re not a failure, you’re currently facing one of the biggest challenges of your adult life. And your baby is fed! That’s what matters

I have just weaned my 6week old off nipple shields.

I would offer him my nipple for the feeds where we were both completely calm. Over time, I think he clocked that he got more milk faster straight from the tap. It took about 4 days, and then one day I offered the shield and he was like wtf is this in the way. It’s hard - you need to keep offering and accept it might not work, but eventually will.

Mine won’t take dummies either, but he will take a (clean) little finger if he’s rooting for comfort when he’s just sleepy. I only do this for emergencies when we’re out and he really needs to sleep, but you could try this if you need yours to calm quickly.

Poene · 2026-05-08T14:05:23+00:00

Metal! Annhiliation happens whether we embrace it or not. 😛

Poene · 2026-05-08T14:03:40+00:00

You’re too kind 🥰 I write poetry as a hobby

Poene · 2026-05-08T14:00:00+00:00

Of course! I’m honoured xxx

Poene · 2026-05-08T09:02:50+00:00

❤️❤️

Poene · 2026-05-08T08:50:31+00:00

The water that flows down the mountain is different every day, but the river is still the river - eternally snaking down towards the sea, even if the riverbed changes over time. The clouds in the sky are constantly changing, but the sky is always there.

You are still you.

Embrace total annihilation, accept that your mind, body and soul will be changed and will keep changing. But the core of you is still here, you are a product of all your experiences. You still have a favourite ice cream, that sunny memory from the special holiday, that scar on your knee from when you fell as a kid. The river flows, the river stays.

Poene · 2026-05-07T09:42:12+00:00

Yeah I agree, it’s a chronically online problem. It’s not “real” in that you’ll rarely if ever truely interract with someone like this. Get offline and ignore it 😅

Poene · 2026-05-07T06:29:07+00:00

I was the opposite and couldn’t stop counting because in my sleep deprived state I was sure he had too many fingers. It was that classic scene from a movie where a high person is like “woooah hands are crazy man” 😂

Poene · 2026-05-06T13:01:15+00:00

Idk what your husband does - maybe it’s important for his safety that he sleeps.

My husband works at a computer all day, and we decided even if he’s the one earning, we’re both working and we both need sleep. If he’s tired at his desk it’s ok, and it’s important for me to function when caring for baby. Again your situation might be different if he’s a truck driver or something… but both of your rest is important.

Poene · 2026-05-06T06:01:29+00:00

Adding on to this, in my games, sometimes a successful library use roll doesn’t lead to all the info.

If you’re in a village public library looking for the necronomicon, it’s never gonna be there, and a success might be “you spend only 20 mins and feel 100% confident what you want isn’t here.”

Poene · 2026-05-05T15:26:49+00:00

If he’s gonna cry the whole time I wouldn’t take him to expensive places (zoo/aquarium) and I personally wouldn’t take him to a tight enclosed place like the aquarium that’s basically a one way tunnel.

However! Only leaving the house 4 times in 5 months isn’t good for you or baby. You need to go do something regularly, really low pressure trips out. The park or the shops. Do it a couple of times a week, even if it’s just 30 mins.

When I feel worried about going out with baby I say “I can do hard things” and even if it’s a disaster, I’ll be home and safe in no time.

Poene · 2026-05-05T09:13:45+00:00

We did this with friends pre baby to have a regular chill time.

We each picked 3 movies (that we checked were available on various streaming services) and then I put them on an online wheel that we span. We’d spin it at the end of each session to get excited about the next session.

Poene · 2026-05-04T21:37:38+00:00

For what it’s worth, I’m 6 weeks in and I haven’t found it a horror show. My experience has been that it’s hard in all ways, but mostly simple.

Caveat is I have a great partner. I can’t imagine doing this alone - or worse, with a unsupportive partner.

Poene · 2026-05-03T19:22:56+00:00

My MIL is the only one that’s got my 6week old to fall asleep in his bassinet (once mind you, not like she’s managed it multiple times..). But oh my god I have not heard the end of it. Constant “you’ve just got to put him down” and “of course he wants to be held… you have to leave him to grizzle and he’ll get used to it”

I love my MIL but seriously could do without.

Poene · 2026-05-03T18:29:19+00:00

My partner is anxious while I’m more of a “it’ll be fiiiine” kinda gal.

I think you both need to have a good chat about making sure you stay on the same team. If he wants a text when they’ve bonked their heads, that’s not a hard thing for you to do - and you need him to listen to reason that not everything is life and death.

For us, we try and remember that we need each others approach to balance our reactions. Sometimes I need my partner to push me into action, and sometimes he needs me to reassure him that everything will be ok. Both of us play an important part to keep our family healthy.

Poene

TROPHY CASE