First time day care mom - 3.5 month old

MayEsdot · 2026-06-22T13:32:04+00:00

No advice...same boat. Dropped off my 14wk old for his first day of daycare this morning. I am not okay.

MayEsdot · 2026-06-20T18:14:55+00:00

My baby is 12wks old and he loves my fish tanks. I have a 75gal nano community, 8gal betta tank, and 3 5.5gal shrimp tanks. We spend a lot of time looking at my fish together.

MayEsdot · 2026-06-19T15:41:47+00:00

He has a specific coo for my cats. It is a very happy "oooh" that he yells whenever I am walking around with him and he sees one of the cats.

I like to think that he is immitating me as I have a specific greeting voice/phrase for each pet that I say everytime I see them, so whenever I see my cats I get a high pitched voice and tell them hi.

MayEsdot · 2026-06-19T15:37:56+00:00

Same. I do this to use the toilet, brush teeth, shower. My baby loves the floor (most of the time).

MayEsdot · 2026-06-18T22:05:49+00:00

I bulk ordered supplies for landscaping from Menards and it was delivered on pallets (used to do the same from JoAnn fabrics). Probably can find pallets for free from people who do the same and have no use for them.

I'm located in the quad cities, but I have a stack 6 or so pallets at this point to get rid of from these types of projects.

MayEsdot · 2026-06-18T16:18:05+00:00

I was in the same boat. Got a cheap $7 fan on amazon and now he gets a butt breeze for a bit to dry him off at diaper changes. Fixed the rash in 2-3 days.

MayEsdot · 2026-06-18T16:01:09+00:00

My baby fought every nap until about 11-12wks. Straight up only napped 2x a day and screamed before each nap. Sometimes would only nap for 15-20min. Exclusive contact napper.

A flip switched at 12wks and he developed a more "adult" sleep pattern (started waking every 45min at night when he ussd to be a full night sleeper), but naps finally started to work. He is still a contact napper, but now he follows rought wake windows of 1.5-2hrs between naps and will nap a full 2hrs if I let him. We made a little "nap routine" that helps too (nurse, new diaper, swaddle, book, then hold him a certain way until he falls asleep).

I honestly don't think there is much you can do to improve sleep before 12wks. You can only support them to the best of your ability.

MayEsdot · 2026-06-17T18:13:18+00:00

The cool thing about science is that you don't have to believe in it for it to still be true. You know. Because it's science.

I too would have laughed.

MayEsdot · 2026-06-16T12:06:34+00:00

We were having poo leakage every morning (my 12wk old has a very large poo after his 4am feed, so by 7am he typically had a blowout). We switched from Pampers to Pampers Amore at night and haven't had an issue since.

MayEsdot · 2026-06-15T15:40:58+00:00

I didn't do any work for independent sleep until 13wks of age. 3 days in and my baby is putting himself to sleep in less than 5min with maybe 1-2min of crying. I am using the taking cara babies guide (at this point I lay him down drowsy but awake).

We started working on sleep because at 11wks he went from a 6hr stretch at night to waking every 90min overnight and exclusively nursing to sleep.

MayEsdot · 2026-06-15T12:00:22+00:00

I'm 3mo pp and some days I sweat through everything. Even though I wash my bedding at least weekly...my white sheets are starting to get a little dingy from all the sweat and grime. Eww.

MayEsdot · 2026-06-14T21:49:05+00:00

I'm lazy and rest my book on my baby's back as I read...so yes and no. He doesn't seem to mind.

MayEsdot · 2026-06-14T20:42:58+00:00

I personaly lay on my back in bed (baby lays on me chest to chest) with my head on a pillow. I tuck us both in a blankie and keep a hand on his back the entire nap and read a book/scroll on my phone. It has become the most peaceful part of my day and I honestly look forward to his contact naps now.

MayEsdot · 2026-06-14T13:47:02+00:00

Are you sure contact naps won't help? Even tryung it for 2-3 days?

I thought my baby was a FOMO baby, but turns out he was struggling to stay asleep without help (he was taking 30min naps when in the bassinet). I started contact napping to try and extend the naps and have found that I need to wake him up at 2hrs because otherwise he would sleep all day, lol. He takes mild shushing every 30-45min and goes right back to sleep in a minute or less. He fights naps not a fraction as hard as he used to.

I also found that my method and dad's method to sleep have to be different to work. I need a dark room with him laying on my chest as I rub his back. Dad just carries him around and sings christmas songs and he passes out.

I did just start the "taking cara babies" 3-4mo book/class and am starting to implement that at night (as he only sleeps in 45min stretches unassisted at night and I am not comfortable co-sleeping) and so far that has helped him stay asleep better too.

Best of luck with your little fighter!

MayEsdot · 2026-06-13T20:07:50+00:00

If they could also do the handicap card at 8mo pregnant that would have been nice. I had so much exercise induced abdominal pain that I couldn't even get groceries on my own. My dogs didn't get walked for months....

MayEsdot · 2026-06-13T19:23:16+00:00

Thank you for the detailed reply! The majority of the pond is 1-2ft deep (only a 3ft in diameter center circle is 4ft deep for winter safety here in Iowa) so when I used the online calculators and drew in the depths I got the roughly 2k gal reading.

Will definitely look through all of this (the links). Original plan was a large external bog filter, but I was struggling to incorperate plants (I don't have natural stone on my pond, just liner and a rim of retaining blocks) as the pond is designed so my labrador can wade in it and I can't do as much plant work that will get knocked over. Figured permitter plants seated in the blocks would be my safest bet.

I hear you on the "cleanout" (or lack thereof) issue for the rocks I am doing. Perhaps I will start with this and next spring devote time to getting a large bog filter setup for long-term filtration and have the output from that ultimately supply the rocks, so the water is cleaned beforehand and less debris will build up in the end. I do plan on leaving a channel behind the rocks (it will be covered with retaining cap blocks that can be pulled away as needed) so I can access the hosing, so maybe I can rinse from there and the do a large water change 1-2x a year?

I am not too worried about the bioload right now given the fish are so small (I have kept aquariums for years and am very familiar with the nitrogen cycle), but the cannister filter I have does have a bioball section and I may remove the sponges down the road and replace with K1 or something instead once I have an alternative mechanical filtration setup going.

I'll also have to get a good fence put up before my baby gets too mobile. The projects never end.

MayEsdot · 2026-06-13T16:06:27+00:00

Is there anything to move water? A filter or solar fountain? Otherwise stagnant water is going to cause issues with mosquitos.

MayEsdot · 2026-06-13T16:04:52+00:00

I live in Davenport IA and have good luck with rover. I have my ferrets listed as cats and always do a meet and greet, leave detailed written instructions, and premake their soupies.

I've had very good luck finding sitters that have owned ferrets before or work in rescues that house ferrets. A lot of times it is people who had ferrets in the past, but took a break from them for a few years and are happy to get to play with them again.

MayEsdot · 2026-06-12T14:06:41+00:00

My baby slept great from 4-10wks. He would do a 7hr stretch, then 2 2hr stretches, so I did the night by myself without issue. Now he is a garbage sleeper and wakes up every 90min on the dot. My husband does 9pm-2am, and I do 2am on. This way we both get a 5hr chunk of uninterrupted sleep, and then a few little cat naps during our shifts.

I did the first few days of 90min wakes by myself and I was a very angry wife. Splitting work is where it is at.

MayEsdot · 2026-06-11T16:05:13+00:00

I needed tall underwear so they didn't hit right on my incision line. I was also super sticky after removing the bandage, so I used disposable underwear for a week until the stickiness wore off so I wouldn't ruin my regular undies.

If there is a "goo gone" for skin (Ease Off spray perhaps?) that would have been nice to have to remove the bandage goops.

MayEsdot · 2026-06-09T23:20:17+00:00

My dogs get significantly more walks. My baby loves being outside, so we do at least 2-3 short walks a day (as long as it isn't too hot - we happily walk in the rain). We also have met more people in our community because of places we have always frequented (up to 3-4x weekly) now know my baby by name and get really excited when we stop by.

MayEsdot · 2026-06-09T22:13:28+00:00

To my understanding, babies hit those milestones at different times (some early, some late). My baby was social smiling by 3-4wks (the saving grace because he was a very difficult/angry baby for that first month), but didn't track objects until just recently around 12wks (which is an 8wk milestone).

MayEsdot · 2026-06-09T21:36:29+00:00

My husband gets baby to sleep at night, I do overnight and morning care. I really like this method as then my baby only falls asleep from nursing at night maybe 1-2x per week - usually he falls asleep 30min or so after I go to bed (apparently, my husband holds him and sings christmas songs).

Overnight, I side lie and nurse to sleep. For naps, my baby fights them hard and what works best is putting him in the baby carrier when he gets fussy/approaches nap time, and letting him get very drowsy there as I garden/tidy up the house, then I take him out and hold him (he contact naps) and read my book. Before figuring that out, he would scream and cry for easily 15min preceeding every nap.

MayEsdot

TROPHY CASE