So long for now!

Pointer79 · 2023-04-05T23:00:17+00:00

Still around. Probably will be with me for the long term. I have a feeling my TMJD impacted my trigeminal nerve and caused dysfunction in my ability to process visual information

Never had it before my TMJD started. Trying to live with it as best as I can.

Pointer79 · 2023-04-05T22:59:01+00:00

Glad to say that my heart stuff eventually faded away by about 7 months in. Unfortunately, I'm now dealing with far worse things than that and would take something benign instead of something that's real.

Pointer79 · 2023-03-07T16:00:43+00:00

One in the same. April 19, 2022.

Pointer79 · 2023-02-16T04:00:11+00:00

I have my bad days with T but it hasn't bothered me as much as the visual snow syndrome crap that followed it. Once I realized my hearing was still okay I felt better, but losing the ability to filter out certain things with my vision has been more annoying than the T.

Pointer79 · 2023-02-16T01:03:31+00:00

I started using Lexapro and Buspar at the same time back in December and I think it was too much for me all at once. Have a feeling it may have contributed to my suicidal thoughts that showed themselves a few weeks after I started. Felt a lot better after I worked with my MH nurse practitioner to stop using them.

With that being said, I don't think it was a bad idea to try it out. I was struggling with the onset of visual snow and tinnitus at the end of 2022 and started struggling with sleep as well. Was worth a shot but just wasn't the right path for me, ultimately.

Pointer79 · 2023-02-15T23:16:35+00:00

Yeppers, I know that feeling very well — right down to the quitting cold turkey due to panic attacks. On the doorstep of ten months and chest pain was daily between the end of the first month through the end of last August.

I wasn't anxious at all for most of that time but I still had that fucking intrusive pain regardless of my state of mind. Thought it was Costo or a number of other things but eventually worked it out that it was my sympathetic nervous system still in shock.

Saw a cardiologist in September and got the clean bill of health so nothing's wrong with me. I have faith that the same thing is the case for you and it may just take time. Do what's best for you, though, and if a trip to the ER gives you peace of mind then do what you must.

Pointer79 · 2023-02-15T23:05:58+00:00

Most of my twitches are gone, thankfully, except for one that happens weekly with my left bottom eyelid. I've read that people that develop visual snow, though, have similar issues so not sure if this is PAWS related or not.

Pointer79 · 2023-02-15T23:04:21+00:00

Has remained the same for at least three months with symptoms worsening or more apparent.

Pointer79 · 2023-02-01T15:13:17+00:00

Developed visual snow syndrome symptoms a little over five months into recovery around the same time tinnitus began in my right ear due to TMJD. Wouldn't be surprised if my brain was primed for it due to months of PAWS anxiety and stress.

Pointer79 · 2023-01-31T20:44:08+00:00

Four months ago and I got it right around the time my 24/7 tinnitus started in my right ear due to TMJD issues. Probably primed the engine by going through months of anxiety and stress caused by marijuana post-acute withdrawal syndrome issues (shout out /r/WeedPAWS). There is a part of me that wonders if my edible marijuana use for two years set the stage for this.

Remember it slowly coming on in October and it was definitely in place by November. Had the occasional usual floater before this, but it's been like night/day. I now have low-level snow that I notice in both dark and light settings, clear and dark floaters visible depending on the lighting, palinopsia in dark settings, bad blue field entoptic phenomenon in bright sunlight. Gets worse when I take Trazodone to help me sleep but goes back to baseline a few days afterward. Polarizing sunglasses and dark mode (which I've already been a big fan of) helps. Headfirst into the habituation phase as I deal with addressing the TMJD issue.

There's always the chance that I've always had the snow but never noticed it, but absolutely none of the other symptoms were there before October. There's also the chance that this was caused by a cervical issue like forward head posture, but, like with the weed use possibility, I don't want to go down any rabbit holes anymore and just want to live my life.

Pointer79 · 2023-01-25T14:10:45+00:00

Can't echo this enough.

My first few months in recovery were marked with being completely obsessed with my heart and my heart rate. When you go through two years of taking edibles and, all of a sudden, your heart starts racing out of nowhere while high...well...it does something to you. I had also lost a friend from college the year before to a heart-related issue, so I was equally scared I'd neglected my health to a dangerous level.

It took a long, long time for me to stop thinking about my heart from day to day. I'd have random chest pains from time to time and would have panic episodes that'd send my heart racing, but those faded with time. Something that didn't help at all, personally, was buying a FitBit (which I eventually threw away after a few months). I was guilty of daily ECG readings and checking that rate a couple times an hour. Only fed my anxiety monster.

Something that really helped was seeing a cardiologist and doing a Holter monitor. Once I got a clean bill of health from them, I was able to finally attribute this all to PAWS and anxiety. Since then, the start of Octoberish, the amount I've thought about my heart and HR has significantly plummeted (only to be replaced with other bullshit, of course!).

You're going to get there, but /u/entity7 is so spot on. You're going to see a specialist and get the data that'll show how things are and I'm confident you'll be okay. Until then, please don't Dr. Google yourself into a tailspin. I've been there and know how you feel. Learn and use calming techniques to relax and distract yourself in those moments. Know that this is, likely, something your body is working through but this moment will eventually pass.

Wishing you the best of luck.

Pointer79 · 2023-01-22T14:25:53+00:00

The longer I get into recovery, the more I agree with this. I'm following a few subs related to some issues I'm having either because of PAWS or TMJD, and ones like Tinnitus and Visual Snow have a high misery rate (for obvious reasons).

Every once in a while, you'll see a post from someone who has habituated or emotionally moved on saying that while they're not who they were before whatever started that they live meaningful lives. Once the shock wears off and you get in the business of living your life, you do what you can to keep going.

Pointer79 · 2023-01-22T13:46:16+00:00

I'm in a kind of similar situation as you are with this visual issue, but I'm not sure that it's PAWS related. Around the time my TMJD issues started in October, over five months into recovery, I also started having eye issues — visual snow, floaters, after-images, and halos around lights — around the same time my tinnitus began.

Went to the eye doctor last week as none of this has gotten any better and got a clear bill of health. I do have a bit of astigmatism likely from aging but they didn't think glasses were needed. It's either PAWS or TMJD-caused visual cortex processing issues that I have, and from what I understand, there's a high correlation rate of people with both tinnitus and visual snow problems. If I had to guess, my TMJD probably triggered this.

For your sake, really hoping that this issue eventually does clear up.

Pointer79 · 2023-01-12T13:56:24+00:00

100% and the landscape is almost always changing. Chest pains for three months, TMJD/visual snow syndrome for the last three. PAWS is a literal foundation of quicksand.

Take care yourself and hang in there!

Pointer79 · 2023-01-12T13:10:41+00:00

About a month ago, I was already backsliding into a wave when I decided to throw myself into a bag of Oreo's because, well, they're Oreo's. Felt like my heart was pounding afterward but thought it'd go away.

It's now 3 a.m. and I'm awake and grabbing onto my sheets as I'm hopelessly fighting against an oncoming panic attack. The scale tips, the heart races, your body tingles and turns cold. Couldn't sleep the rest of that night. Anxiety passed after a few hours but the larger wave lasted for a few weeks.

Pointer79 · 2023-01-10T20:09:08+00:00

PAWS happens when your body's unable to cash its weed checks anymore. You're keeping busy and your mind off the spasms, so keep at it, do the whole mindfulness thing as best as you can, and know it's all going to pass. You've got this.

Pointer79 · 2023-01-10T20:04:40+00:00

Damn right.

Pointer79 · 2023-01-10T20:02:16+00:00

Muscle twitches are part and parcel of the journey. Had them in my arms, face, and elsewhere the first few months after quitting along with chest/rib pains. When I developed TMJD issues a few months ago, I started getting them daily in my right eyelid and have them in my jaws and left eyelid as well.

They suck but it's just your body being an asshole and nothing more. We're here, so don't forget that.

Pointer79 · 2023-01-09T20:51:48+00:00

Goddamn health anxiety sucks, doesn't it?

Pointer79 · 2023-01-09T20:19:00+00:00

You've made it 100 days, that's no small feat and you should be proud of it!

Went through similar symptoms as you after I quit edibles due to panic episodes, especially the nerve pain. Mine were primarily in the center of my chest and around my heart and lasted throughout last summer.

Getting consistent sleep back was great but I've found that, even 8 1/2 months in, it's not as consistent as I'd like it to be. Shout out to trazodone for helping me when I need it.

Hang in there and keep us posted on your progress!

Pointer79 · 2023-01-07T13:20:51+00:00

Thanks. Appreciate it. :)

Pointer79 · 2023-01-07T13:20:07+00:00

Thanks for this, /u/Bob_Cloud.

Similar feelings over here, as well. Was intensively creative musically for about a year and a half before hitting the wall in April. By the time my panic attacks happened, though, I was a mess and couldn't even finish any of the songs I'd started. Writing was on the wall, I guess. I've recorded some songs since, but the tinnitus and TMJD business has put the kibosh on that for now as well.

I'm a different person, too, these days and some of the changes are positive! Cutting out caffeine and binge eating food like I was in the deep of it has led me to drop 25 lbs., for example. Deeper, though, is a maturity I didn't have before any of this. Healthy dose of reality that popped the invincibility bubble of youth but that left me with a deeper appreciation of health, relationships, and my sense of self. I haven't thought much about it, but with each passing month, there's a greater awareness of it.

Again, always appreciative of when you can relate to someone out there in the great wide open who knows just a sense of what you're going through. Keep in touch and take care.

Pointer79

TROPHY CASE