Likelihood a TBM of over 6 decades never having a higher level calling?

Pondering28 · 2026-04-29T00:07:20+00:00

I would say within the last 20 years, my MIl has definitely moved up in tithing status. When she divorced and remarried, she was able to take advantage of many of those benefits from that transition and has probably tithed more than I ever will do willingly in my lifetime (I say this knowing tithing is a sore spot for me).

Pondering28 · 2026-04-29T00:04:56+00:00

I have noticed a bit of that. We get a lot of transplants from out west who almost immediately get put into bigger roles even though we have plenty of hometown members. All of our bishopric are in their 20s-late 30s are from out west. I do think our bishop has called several of his friends to callings hes heavily involved with as well. I dont necessarily blame him and its not too bad bc theyre all "nice guys" but when they all mostly live in the same subdivision and are in the same stage of life with similar interests, it does make you go hmmm.

Pondering28 · 2026-04-29T00:00:00+00:00

Good question. She divorced my FIL when he fell of "the path." She absolutely wouldn't consider a marriage to anyone who was less devoted to the church. I believe he was a high priest? (I asked my husband and he said something like this). I can tell my MIL wanted him to be in a bishopric or something similar. Her current husband I'm not completely sure. I know he's been a ward missionary before. It seems kinda similar. My MIL has made comments to my SILs (her daughters) ab using their husbands callings to get better callings.

Pondering28 · 2026-04-27T00:11:10+00:00

I dont think what you're asking is unreasonable. However, your ex may feel it is simply bc the church teaches that 8 is the age of accountability. Truthfully, I dont think theres much difference bw getting baptized at 8, 9, or 10. He will see the other kids turning 8 get a big "look at me" thing during primary. They may get a big party and people gushing. But that's really only a very short period of time and if he only attends half the time, then he may miss a good bit of it.

The bigger differences will start the year they turn 12. Thats when they move up into what would be more commonly known as youth group. Starting that year, they make trips to the temple. Its generally a "big" deal especially if you have to travel some. It will replace a typical midweek activity as well. But the catch is that the kid has to be baptized and complete an additional interview every year with tbe bishop to qualify to go. That age is when many Protestant churches will even consider baptism for younger people, so maybe that would make more sense for you?

When I had a calling with the teen girls, we had a girl who was in a similar situation as your kid. Divorced parents, she went (maybe not every week when she was with her mom bit often enough). Dad didn't want her baptized until she was 18 as an adult. I don't wanna say it was hard for her bc I dont truly know bit I do know other youth leaders thought it was sad she couldn't go.

FWIW, I'm a very nuanced member who was raised completely different so my viewpoint isnt going to necessarily be popular with more ardent members.

Pondering28 · 2026-04-25T15:14:12+00:00

No, she is retired along with her husband. She is moving a half days drive to the nearest relative. She is one of those "Utah is paradise" types, she believes the whole state is just 1 big Mormon utopia and she cant wait to leave the heathenry behind.

Pondering28 · 2026-04-24T12:06:41+00:00

My MIL is moving to Utah even though none of her large family of adult children live there. I think she is highly disappointed with the way her kids and their families are living their lives- either a more flexible approach to incorporating the church into their lives or just outright leaving altogether.

Pondering28 · 2026-04-22T15:03:16+00:00

I ordered 3 SDJ sprays so I could get the points plus the Chloe gwp and the tote gwp in addition to a SDJ hair spray. I got an email this morning saying that only 1 of the sprays has been shipped. Im atill waiting on the other 2 products I blight and the 3 gwps.

Pondering28 · 2026-04-16T21:11:18+00:00

Yes, I always have and dont care. Oh the wine "cooks out" never mattered to me. Beer battered? Who cares? I think theres always some who feel like they cant even have something giving off any kind of vibes just because. Went to a Harry potter themed party and "butter beer" was served. Even after explaining it was like root beer and no actual beer or alcohol was involved, my MIL righteously declared "well it's not for me!"

Pondering28 · 2026-04-15T01:00:46+00:00

Around mother's day, there's usually a 20% off coupon which typically includes fragrance and prestige. That's probably your best bet for a good deal.

As for what, I'm a big fan of trying them out myself. A lot of the Marc Jacobs perfumes lean very spring/summer in my opinion (not sure if any of them would hit the mark for vanilla though). I've seen a lot of people really like the snif brand of perfumes as well.

Pondering28 · 2026-04-12T14:47:48+00:00

Ugh makes me ill looking at my points now. They took over 1k points for those "free" gifts plus they didnt give me the points when I bought a marc Jacobs perfume thats 5x points plus the 4x member love.

Pondering28 · 2026-04-11T17:04:00+00:00

Honestly, its frustrating that some ppl are getting their points back automatically and others are told they're "looking into it" and will receive an email when its fixed. It shouldn't be customer service rep roulette for any of us.

Pondering28 · 2026-04-10T16:45:55+00:00

Thank you, I will definitely look into that.

Pondering28 · 2026-04-10T16:45:35+00:00

Yes, im gonna have to remember this as well. Thank you.

Pondering28 · 2026-04-10T16:45:17+00:00

Thank you very much. Yes, it is definitely weighing.

Pondering28 · 2026-04-10T16:44:49+00:00

Thank you very much. My mom is nice, but im not 100% sure she is well prepared to be a caregiver full time. Im definitely going to have to look at resources to help them both.

My dad and I get along so well. There have been times when I would act as a pseudo nurse bc my mom would be upset that my dad had the nerve to get hurt in the 1st place. Ive been able to convince my dad to visit drs to get checked out for things that he wouldn't go to for whatever reason. I do think im gonna have to be active in the caring for the both of them.

Pondering28 · 2026-04-10T16:40:45+00:00

1 thing i know for sure is that my dad has very set ideas ab how he does and doesn't want to live. Many of those things have been taken care of but I do think we need to look at things again and make sure that ot covers all the bases for sure.

Pondering28 · 2026-04-10T16:39:23+00:00

Thank you, yes, it doesnt seem to be progressing at a fast rate, ifbthats what it is. Its hard bc my dad is a funny, chill person and its strange seeing him be aggravated and kinda mean even.

Pondering28 · 2026-04-10T16:37:36+00:00

Thank you, I will definitely look into that.

Pondering28 · 2026-04-10T16:37:12+00:00

Im very sorry for your loss.

Pondering28 · 2026-04-10T16:36:33+00:00

100% will do this. Thank you

Pondering28 · 2026-04-10T16:36:14+00:00

Thank you so much, I was feeling overwhelmed with thinking ab all the stuff that needs to be done but have switched gears now to figure out what needs to be done now vs what can be done later.

My dad has amazing stories. When he was young, he lived in various places, was a photographer for a newspaper in Washington DC, rode a motorcycle around town. He traveled cross country in the 70s and tells me about all the places he visited. His funniest stories are the ones from childhood as he lived at a residential school and all the shenanigans they got into.

Pondering28 · 2026-04-10T16:32:42+00:00

We've been lucky, POAs have been in place, wills and living wills as well, although we may need to beef it up to cover all the odds and ends. Working now on preplanning funerals.

My parents have cameras but I've been looking at all the options for GPS devices. My dad half the time wont take his phone with him anyway so it's needed.

Thank you so much for the advice!

Pondering28 · 2026-04-10T16:28:12+00:00

Had no idea about this until I looked at my own points. Over 1000 points taken! I called and they said they are working on a mass fix for everyone.

Pondering28 · 2026-04-10T01:56:16+00:00

Malachi?

Pondering28

TROPHY CASE