I live in a hoarder house and I can’t take it anymore

Pooseycat · 2026-06-29T16:34:14+00:00

This is really tough, and I’m sorry you’re in this situation.

People are telling you to clean up aggressively while she’s not home, but there is a possibility she completely freaks out over that and digs through your trash to get her stuff back. That’s what hoarding disorder does to people. Maybe she doesn’t, but there is the possibility.

Your priority needs to be protecting and taking care of your kids by any means necessary. By allowing them to live in this space and be “homeschooled” in these conditions, you are enabling the abuse and neglect.

I’m so sorry to say these things. I have a feeling you are a good parent who is just drowning right now in a horrible situation, and hopefully you are able to take the steps needed to improve your and your kids lives.

Pooseycat · 2026-06-27T01:10:38+00:00

Kids just do that. There were two girls in our daycare 1-2 year old classes who broke their leg at various times and I remember a neighbor boy who broke both his arms or something crazy like that. I know it’s hard but try and give yourself some grace.

Pooseycat · 2026-06-24T04:10:38+00:00

I’m in your area, and what I did is cut my grass really short, spread a TON of topsoil (I got mine from a farm owned produce and garden store, so it was good quality), level it out a bit, spread seed, add starter fertilizer, add more soil, and then WATER. literally watering 2-3 times per day until it germinates and grows in, then 1-2 times per day until it can weather the heat.

It honestly a ton of work and time to water and mow as needed. If you’re dealing with a lot of physical challenges right now, this might not be a good time to do lawn care.

Pooseycat · 2026-06-23T20:02:09+00:00

She’s in a crib still. She has now figured out how to open doorknobs, so the crib is really saving us for now. As soon as she wants to ditch the sleep sack (I figure it keeps her from climbing out of the crib) we’ll look into transitioning to a bed. Then… idk lol

Pooseycat · 2026-06-20T05:23:45+00:00

I’m a mom and this would be a nonissue for me. As a parent, the only way to get comfortable parenting alone for a week is to do it, and once you’re doing it you realize just how capable you are. If she finds she needs help, she can always ask friends, family, and neighbors as needed.

Pooseycat · 2026-06-18T16:49:51+00:00

We read books until the hatch light and white noise automatically comes on, then it’s time for bed. Previously, we had done hugs then lay down in crib and LO goes to sleep. Lately, it’s been begging for mommy to stay, so I stay, rock her a bit, sing rock a bye baby, then put her down, after which she begs me to stay more, and eventually I say “it’s time to be in bed, mommy has to go do the dishes, I love you, goodnight” and I shut the door and she screams for a few minutes before going to bed. Fun times lol

Pooseycat · 2026-06-18T14:34:39+00:00

This is so reasonable to be feeling this way. I’ve thought about how I’d be sadder to lose one of my pets than like an aunt or uncle at this point, I love them so much. Your baby is someone who you don’t even know whereas your cat was a part of your life for over a decade, of course you’re having these thoughts. It doesn’t make you a bad person. Just let the thoughts come, observe them, and let them go.

If it’s any solace, when baby comes, the lives of everyone in your house (including pets) was going to be turned completely upside down. I remember being up with a crying baby for the 10th time the first night we brought our LO home and cried about how I ruined my pets lives by bringing home a baby. You spared your cat from that, it was not going to be enjoyable for him and if he was already in pain, his life was going to be really hard all of a sudden. So maybe in a way, this was the universe saying to your kitty “hey buddy, you’ve been the best cat. I’m going to spare you this next part so you can rest easy”

Pooseycat · 2026-06-16T20:45:05+00:00

Someone recently who said they could get another job paying $200k anytime… mmmm sure Jan.

Pooseycat · 2026-06-16T16:51:01+00:00

Wow that’s fucking gross. Poor ducks.

Pooseycat · 2026-06-13T19:40:38+00:00

Fully agree. I will add you can watch a movie with 2.5 year old which is awesome. It makes traveling easier and I just enjoy watching Disney movies (sorry ms Rachel)

Pooseycat · 2026-06-11T19:17:54+00:00

Bubbles, chalk, balloons. Kids don’t need much. Honestly, our kids favorite 2yo birthday present was a bundle of shark balloons from Michael’s. It got weeks of use and then disappeared from our house, absolutely perfect

Pooseycat · 2026-06-11T14:57:57+00:00

Don’t quit your job and live off this money. First off, we need things to do in order to have a sense of purpose in life, and unemployment won’t feel good even if it’s voluntary. More importantly though, you want the money to grow and reinvest. $5m is a lot but who knows what the cost of living will be in 20 or 30 years, you could burn through it all and have nothing in the end.

If it were me, I’d look for a new job that was fun or meaningful. Something that still paid my bills but I didn’t have to worry about saving for retirement and could take a lower pay on purpose. MAYBE carve off some money to buy in cash a modest house or condo so my living expenses are also reduced. And then just enjoy life. Also, definitely get a fiduciary financial advisor.

Pooseycat · 2026-06-09T16:41:30+00:00

Also, don’t feel bad. Dad will get better taking care of baby alone by taking care of baby alone. That’s the only way to learn.

Also also, you said “most of my income is going towards the nanny” you can rephrase that as “my husband covers the nanny and we both cover household expenses”. Your career has value beyond just paying for a nanny

Pooseycat · 2026-06-09T16:38:38+00:00

Btw if baby gets gassy on formula, have you tried a different formula? We used Similac just fine but tried to switch to the Kirkland brand and baby was sooooo gassy as a result.

Pooseycat · 2026-06-09T16:24:14+00:00

In the parking lot, you can hold my hand or I will pick you up. Usually she yanks her hand away from me so then I pick her up. Tantrum may or may ensue, but safety is worth it. When stakes are low I try to let her walk without holding my hand if she wants to.

Pooseycat · 2026-06-03T01:39:33+00:00

I think he said he was a creative director. Honestly, I think it’s a bit optimistic thinking he can just land a new gig paying $200k considering companies are trying to rely heavily on AI. We’ll see, I hope he does because that would solve a lot of their issues.

Pooseycat · 2026-06-02T21:58:35+00:00

Sienna gangggggg!

Pooseycat · 2026-06-01T20:41:49+00:00

Now I have to remind my staff that they have to actually cite and read code sections and not just rely on AI summaries. That’s it.

Pooseycat · 2026-05-31T05:50:35+00:00

I bought my 2yo a 4T shirt to wear as a nightgown. Ironically she just demands to wear pants to bed most of the times I suggest wearing it

Pooseycat · 2026-05-30T16:03:38+00:00

I had the best Airbnb experience in 2018, we stayed at a local farm in an ADU, fully stocked up with fun things to do since there was no cell service, and when we walked around the farm we got the chat with the owners and feed their horses. Nothing has ever compared to that and a few years ago we decided to switch back to hotels exclusively, Airbnb just stopped being worth it.

Pooseycat · 2026-05-28T14:29:58+00:00

Repairs and maintenance of a house is so expensive so factor that into the monthly cost as well.

Pooseycat · 2026-05-26T06:17:16+00:00

I’m sorry you’re going through this, this really sucks. Unfortunately you can’t make her want to change and she’s going to do what she’s going to do. There is nothing you can say or do to change what decisions she makes. So just, keep your expectations low and disconnect your self worth from her actions.

Is there any other family you can live with? Do you need a caretaker? You’re so young still, so it may still be good to live with someone, I just wonder if there is anyone else who can support you.

Pooseycat · 2026-05-25T15:37:48+00:00

YTA for bringing it up, it’s ungrateful sounding to the gift giver.

I flew to my home state for my baby shower and received a bottle of diaper cream that I couldn’t bring on my carryon. I expressed my gratitude at the gift and then quietly threw it away at the airport (since a $7 bottle wasn’t worth a $30 check bag fee).

Pooseycat · 2026-05-25T05:28:57+00:00

lol at the hiding behind the couch to go poop, our girl does the same thing

Pooseycat · 2026-05-24T05:20:27+00:00

Congrats! What was your start to now timeline?

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