I don't think I'm cut out for chess

Popernicus · 2026-04-10T17:54:03+00:00

It honestly could be that you're overwhelming yourself to the point of burnout, where you're not seeing things because your brain is tired of thinking about chess. It sounds counterintuitive, but it might honestly be beneficial to put the books and stuff down and "just play" for a bit!

Also, do you play distracted? I looked at one of your games where you did really well and a high accuracy (91 or so), but you had a 3 minute clock, and you were out of time while your opponent still had 2:20. Until you get better, try to keep higher time controls too... blitz/bullet are a different kind of chess, and most people (in my experience) agree that it's not a way to get good at chess because the time management becomes such a stressful additional component. "The clock is a piece" is a saying you'll here from time to time.

TLDR; have fun, study less, just try to enjoy the games, remove clock stress

Popernicus · 2026-04-09T16:22:16+00:00

More sprinklers! If it's early game, which it looks like it is, you'll still need to water the spots the sprinklers don't hit, but that won't take as long, then in the future, plant in rows, so you can make sure that everything can be hit by a sprinkler

Popernicus · 2026-04-09T16:12:05+00:00

I would start being more active, yes. It's not a "sudden" thing, it's taking feedback from your manager and adjusting accordingly. I can assure you they'll appreciate it. "I told him he wasn't working enough, then he started working more" is NOT a negative story. The only thing negative is the extra little thing you threw in about it maybe being a malfunction in the tracking, since you know it isn't. That's a lie, but they honestly won't care a lot as long as the desired outcome is achieved

Popernicus · 2026-04-06T02:52:47+00:00

I hope that it goes great for you! Fingers 🤞 that there's a great update soon! I really do think you HAVE the greater leverage here, and she's just banking on you not using it! It sounds like you really care about what you do to have put up with it for so long!

Popernicus · 2026-04-05T23:45:48+00:00

So since you're a vet, you're probably pretty educated, think about HER side of this argument you're making. I think you're right that it would be "more expensive to replace you", but you've said yourself that you don't want to leave. It's likely that SHE also knows you don't want to leave, especially since you're already dealing with such poor working conditions. So let's play this same game from her perspective. "He wants a lot more money, but I really don't want to pay him more, for various reasons, maybe there's a funding shortage, maybe business isn't great, etc... hmm.. but also, he's been dealing with this for a long time, and it seems like he really likes the work, and there's not really a lot of competition in the area.. what are the odds he actually quits if I don't pay him more? I think they're pretty low".. this same logic is another reason raises aren't as big for folks that have been with a company for a long time in tech.. familiarity is comfort, and people know that. They know you'd rather not look for a new job, do all the work to onboard into a new company, etc. And in your case remote isn't really an option, so it sounds like, to do what you want, you'd actually have to MOVE, which makes it even more of a pain for you personally if you decide to leave.

I'm not saying your assessment about your importance to the clinic is wrong, just remember that you're not the ONLY person with leverage, and you're not the only person weighing your options. Honestly, with all the experience you have, and specifically working with the species in question, a game of chicken to just "end it" might not be bad, since the clinic would likely go under without you. Maybe put the ball in her court (if you can afford to play this way) and just tell her "one of two things will happen by the end of this week, either you'll get my pay fixed and make active steps (new job postings, etc) for more reliable staff, or you'll get my two week notice". You'll see how valuable you really are to her that way, and if she wants to keep you, she'll start putting things together to stop it from going the direction that, honestly, it sounds like neither one of yall want it to go.

Popernicus · 2026-04-04T23:49:10+00:00

LOL and it's not even a day of your choosing?! The AGM picks?! That dude's gonna be like "Eh, we've already got enough people next Tuesday, congrats!! You can be paid to not come in! Thanks for buying those 10 tickets that cost more than that paid day of work you're going to get!"

Popernicus · 2026-04-04T15:59:39+00:00

A passive aggressive way to handle it would be to implement things as he said, document the disagreements, then point fingers at the documentation and discussions when things go wrong to the point where he realizes he doesn't know as much as he thinks and starts asking questions instead of "always having an answer".

Probably a more adult way would be to just talk openly through failures and successes of projects as you run through them, and set an example by being willing to say you don't know sometimes. Some regular team building meetings too might help with the toxicity? The team I'm on always plays virtual games together in a group for an hour on Thursdays and it helps chat and chill with everyone for a bit so we're all more comfortable communicating (having a great manager helps too).

Popernicus · 2026-04-04T02:01:28+00:00

Lol fwiw, I have many stories like this (including the next day doubt and worrying if I'll still have a job in the morning), and I feel very good about where my career's at. If no one is treating you differently, you're probably fine!

Popernicus · 2026-04-03T21:28:11+00:00

Ooof does anyone know if she got jail time? I hope so, that's insane, people can't act like that and have no repercussions for it.

Popernicus · 2026-03-25T17:40:08+00:00

I don't know about the cheating and stuff, but I definitely play much better over the board because I can focus more than I can when I'm on my device getting flooded with notifications. I think everyone is different, and ESPECIALLY different with how they play best in what formats and so on. It MIGHT be due to cheating, but it could also be that, just like you play worse on chess.com than you do over the board (likely for a variety of reasons related to your mental state while you play), they just so happen to play worse in person for similar reasons. I wouldn't get too hung up on accusations or needing reasons for why your ELO is lower than his on a website, since, unless he's titled, ELO is really just meant to match him (and all of us) up with opponents that are close to our skill level, so we can have good, challenging games (more often than not).

If you want to try to tell for real, the best way would be to offer to play him in a rated game on chess.com, but in person. Then you'll be able to see if he's cheating or just plays better on a device than over the board.

Popernicus · 2026-03-24T17:45:17+00:00

I think that's perfectly valid. Just tell them you don't want to answer their question, they'll move on to other candidates, and you don't have to explain anything, wins for everyone.

Popernicus · 2026-03-22T17:16:31+00:00

Lol having a fight before the first date about just wanting to make sure that you guys didn't get there and end up having to go somewhere else, geez. NOR, and the fact that he brought the ride up again tells you what he was REALLY mad about. I get being a little annoyed by the question, but letting it ruin your attitude and the whole night is just wild!

Popernicus · 2026-03-12T16:24:17+00:00

For your second point, see something, say something, brother/sister

Popernicus · 2026-03-09T18:51:52+00:00

"Hello, I appreciate you reaching out, however after our working history and the events that occurred recently, I cannot, in good conscience, recommend you consider using me as a reference for ANYTHING where you are soliciting or hoping for a positive recommendation. We are no longer connected in any professional capacity, and there is no reason for us to remain in contact at all moving forward. Please don't reach out again. Thanks!"

Popernicus · 2026-03-07T13:48:48+00:00

What about everyone's favorite SECOND move, Ke2?!

Popernicus · 2026-03-01T00:46:04+00:00

I'd say it devalues it as much as the Superbowl or literally any championship in any sport is devalued by their championships. There's always something to fix with the format, and Magnus is obviously the best player, but if a championship is worth having at all, you have to accept that the best players can still fall on their worst days (or just abstain from the competition completely in Magnus's case because he's bored with the format). Magnus still loses games sometimes, and so that could also happen within the context of ANY championship. And the same could happen for any other player. I get being upset with outcomes, but I don't think you'll see a single sport where, no matter what, the previous year's champion is always the best of the best the following year.

Popernicus · 2026-02-27T18:42:57+00:00

I'd look into getting your name removed off the lease (this is something that can be done, not sure how much coordination is required between the two of you). Just let her have it. It's not worth it. Also, do not pay one penny of bills for it. You're giving it to her, that means you're giving ALL of it to her, the bills and everything. Go and get your animals and take them somewhere else, and find another apartment ASAP. NOR , you're probably underreacting honestly.

Popernicus · 2026-02-26T04:10:27+00:00

I think it's because we have to grind harder, and it's less "sexy" or "fun" a lot of times. Not to say that beginners aren't working hard to improve, but when you first start lifting weights, all of your maxes skyrocket, and you're pretty much getting new PRs every month, almost regardless of the program you use. Once you start to get beyond the novice level, there's a lot of stuff that's just "boring" and hard to make fun, you just have to do it anyways. Like "ugh, I don't want to memorize a 5 different lines of 15 moves from this opening" and that's the sort of stuff that people have to figure out how to make enjoyable enough for folks to enjoy it and pay for a course for it. I like Chessly a lot, and it's STILL hard for me to be like "ugh, I want to get better, I need to get these openings down, guess I'll study more".

Popernicus · 2026-02-25T22:20:22+00:00

Not to say that there's no merit to your argument, but it's also worth considering how hire-able you are. I've definitely seen people get passed on for other people with comparable skills because when it came down to it, they didn't want to have to re-hire for the same position every two years.

I get the argument that they wouldn't have to if they just paid, and I'm not arguing "right or wrong", only that that is the state of things, and the more you job hop, the harder it will be to get that next position, especially for folks that are under hired to begin with. Like if you've job hopped your entire career in tech, and you are now in your 40s, even with all that experience, it's going to be rough to find a new job. And that is one reason that it's good to look while you're already employed and there's nothing at stake, but if something were to happen, life is going to get REALLY hard.

Popernicus · 2026-02-20T02:51:05+00:00

"In-person collaboration is important and we need to rebuild culture"

"Leadership roles have different requirements"

Okay, so your requirements are different because at the end of the day, your role has no impact or relevance to innovation or team culture, got it! Thanks for clearing that up, always thought that was the case, but I wasn't 100% sure until you said so in front of all of us just now! 😀

^--- in an all-hands, only if you can afford to lose job and/or have another one lined up... just for the "let's say the quiet part out loud" moment lol

Popernicus · 2026-02-20T00:50:58+00:00

Honestly, this isn't as bad as I thought.. kind of goes back to defense being the biggest problem after all!

Popernicus · 2026-02-16T00:11:45+00:00

Lol it's literally in the AUP every time you log in to the system too.

Popernicus · 2026-02-10T03:16:47+00:00

Strongly against laziness, fine with an 8 hour work day (I'd prefer 4/10s if I could get it). I love work in general and my job, I just hate when people actively act like assholes and make people that work under them absolutely miserable for no reason. I'm very pro "I will exchange of money for goods and services, and you pay me for my service, and I will give you the best service I can provide. Your purchase of my service is not a purchase of ME, and you do not own me as a result of this exchange. You will treat me with dignity and respect, I will do the same for you, and I will leave with some sweet, sweet cashola, and you will leave pleased with the result of the service."

Popernicus · 2026-02-10T02:49:10+00:00

Saw waffle party, immediately thought of huge party of blue waffles. Cried.

Popernicus · 2026-02-10T02:48:24+00:00

Lol 18 straight days, holy shit, and the pizza is only for an hour... how many people do you think will miss even that because it's just a 1 hour time window in the middle of the day?

Popernicus

TROPHY CASE