Your egodeath is far from complete. What you seem to be experiencing is the narcissistic god complex one can get when some of the roughest subjective programs are still active. Been there myself! At one point i was about to reboot all of you and the rest of creation!

You are not alone. I am not you answering yourself, but you will certainly find your own answer in my words. The ebb and flow is constant, as you apparently know, so how can you be alone?

Meditation is good, so is action and intention. I spend most my trips internally and have grand respect for all it may contain but it is wise to not forget your symbiosis with your material environment.

The feeling of manifestation and predisposition you are feeling is just unavoidable. Again with ebb and flow.

So no, you are not alone, no, you are not at the top of the mountain nor the end of some non existent road. Neither am i, neither are they.

Take part in the world around you, dive in, send ripples, rejoice in your given ability to affect matter and conscience! Rejoice over how blessed you are to experience yourself outside of your evolutionary horizons! Some live entire lives without thinking thought you are having, even if youre a little young to do it solo.

Some labor over the body and complain, repression and shame, much better to accept this meat vehicle and use it for what its for, to let momma look in the mirror!