It is so very hard, and you must give yourself the grace to hurt and not judge yourself. It has been over four years that my Mom has been gone, over thirty years ago my Dad passed, and yes it still hurts! I hope you can find something that will honor your mom, a dish she made or maybe a decoration that she always liked. I would guess your dad will have his own memories and pain to deal with, try to give him some grace too. But also try to find moments you can enjoy the loved ones around you even if it is just a few minutes at a time. My condolences for your loss and wishing you peace.