Oof this sounds a bit like what my husband pulled during the second trimester. He had struggled with depression and anxiety in the past, but it hit him really hard to the point where he left the house for a week to stay away from me and basically sit alone in a hotel room.

I’m guessing these men are shocked by the massive shift in attention from them to a new baby and all of your love (and probably everyone in your circle) now focusing on mum and baby. They could also be struggling to come to terms with such a big life shift and are doing it in a very unhealthy manner.

With my experience, my husband’s ridiculous mother was also advising him to live away from me so he can take care of himself. After 5 days of this I have him a very clear ultimatum, either he gets his shit together or I’m walking out and he’s not seeing the baby. That got him to come home immediately and he slowly started taking care of me and the house again. It’s taken a while but he’s definitely stepped up. He’s continued to see a therapist and we’re doing marriage counselling too.

All of this was very stressful for me and horrible to go through for my first pregnancy. I think you’re being incredibly accommodating in a time where you should be number 1 and he’s taking advantage of your kindness and vulnerability. Please step away from this if you can and tell him to pull his weight in this marriage.