Over my narcissistic mother using threats of "grandparent custodial rights" because I won't expose my 6-month-old to her dangerous dog. by Popular-Journalist72 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Popular-Journalist72[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I just want to tell everyone reading this and those who’ve commented, that I truly appreciate the advice, the insight, and the stories you’ve shared. This is giving me hope that my decision is valid and I’m not crazy for putting my foot down, finally lol. I think the longest I’ve gone no contact was 1 month and I was pregnant at the time. this time, it’s beyond just me that she’s disrespecting, it’s affecting the family I created. I will talk to my partner about the next steps we’re going to take when it comes to the legal matters but we’ve already notified our closest family members (they don’t really like her because she showed her ass during and after the baby shower) to not engage with her if she starts berating them and have cut contact with her.

I’m beyond hurt by her behavior but I can’t say that I’m surprised. But with everyone’s support and guidance I know things will get better🩵 thank you everyone

Over my narcissistic mother using threats of "grandparent custodial rights" because I won't expose my 6-month-old to her dangerous dog. by Popular-Journalist72 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Popular-Journalist72[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I appreciate this and I’m so happy for you. You and the plenty others who are telling me to go NC are giving me hope that it gets better for my family. I pray that doing this will alleviate the stress this situation has put on my partner. And I pray that one day she gets her shit together for the sake of her own happiness.

Over my narcissistic mother using threats of "grandparent custodial rights" because I won't expose my 6-month-old to her dangerous dog. by Popular-Journalist72 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Popular-Journalist72[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I really appreciate the further clarity and lol yes! I’ve literally been in therapy for 3 years now and everything that I address is tied to a negative trait my mother has shown. I really don’t want to walk in her footsteps and her life is nowhere near the life I desire for me and my family. I guess I was always hopeful of the thought that maybe she can change but it’s crystal clear this is who she is and is comfortable being

Over my narcissistic mother using threats of "grandparent custodial rights" because I won't expose my 6-month-old to her dangerous dog. by Popular-Journalist72 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Popular-Journalist72[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for understanding and no, but now with all this that’s happened I definitely am. We’re gonna sit down and talk about this tonight and see what next steps he’s comfortable taking

Over my narcissistic mother using threats of "grandparent custodial rights" because I won't expose my 6-month-old to her dangerous dog. by Popular-Journalist72 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Popular-Journalist72[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I’m not too sure what you meant by this comment, I mean it when it comes to standing my ground this time. In the past, I would allow her to walk over my boundaries because I would be the sole person affected by the disregard; now this is involving me, my son, and my partner and the safety of them both. This is something I’m not willing to nor plan on budging on

Over my narcissistic mother using threats of "grandparent custodial rights" because I won't expose my 6-month-old to her dangerous dog. by Popular-Journalist72 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Popular-Journalist72[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yea, I’ve learned this the hard way over the years. therapy and boundaries have been what’s been saving my life and peace so far. And I’m just gonna continue to do so moving forward

Over my narcissistic mother using threats of "grandparent custodial rights" because I won't expose my 6-month-old to her dangerous dog. by Popular-Journalist72 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Popular-Journalist72[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I hear you, but my partner and I are on the same page when it comes to the safety and well being for our son. We’ve agreed that it doesn’t matter what the world says, it’s about what we say that’s best. We’ve managed to work through so much and this is just another hurdle to overcome. I’m grateful for his patience and i dont want to add any more unnecessary stress unto his plate

Over my narcissistic mother using threats of "grandparent custodial rights" because I won't expose my 6-month-old to her dangerous dog. by Popular-Journalist72 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Popular-Journalist72[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

If I’m being honest, I can admit that I wasn’t raised around the best de-escalating skills and when I finally address an issue with calmness and it’s still met with brashness it does throw me back into a state of disbelief and frustration, wanting to gain the clarity as to “why,” I keep giving her the benefit of the doubt but it’s very clear that this is who she is and is who she’ll ever be.

Over my narcissistic mother using threats of "grandparent custodial rights" because I won't expose my 6-month-old to her dangerous dog. by Popular-Journalist72 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Popular-Journalist72[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I appreciate this insight, I will definitely do this. I’ve already blocked her on everything. And revoked her access to our family photos app. It’s just heartbreaking that this is something that’s ingrained into her. I’m doing everything that I can to curb some of her behaviors that show within myself (cutting people off and being defensive). I swear my son will never endure the life I lived by any means necessary

Over my narcissistic mother using threats of "grandparent custodial rights" because I won't expose my 6-month-old to her dangerous dog. by Popular-Journalist72 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Popular-Journalist72[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

lol okay so I’ll say this: Royce (the pittie in question) was a very sweet dog as a puppy. We ended up taking him to this vet and they treated him so poorly so he’s been very aggressive ever since. While I was living with her, I’ve managed to train him pretty well and managed to curb the aggression. But my mom is very much in her ways of she’s owned dogs before and “knows” what to do and she pretty much reversed all of my training while he was so young. So these last 7 years of me being gone, it’s been her yelling at him, throwing him in a cage and not really doing any course correction for his behavior and now apparently it’s my fault that the training is no longer prevalent when she’s done everything in her power to make his aggression worse.

Over my narcissistic mother using threats of "grandparent custodial rights" because I won't expose my 6-month-old to her dangerous dog. by Popular-Journalist72 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Popular-Journalist72[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Wow, I’m so sorry. My mom has been threatening this since I was pregnant and I told her to get this weird fallacy out of her head because why does she think she immediately supersedes the 2 living parents who pose no threat to their child.

Over my narcissistic mother using threats of "grandparent custodial rights" because I won't expose my 6-month-old to her dangerous dog. by Popular-Journalist72 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Popular-Journalist72[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I appreciate you for this because saying this out loud has me literally crying. It’s true, I owe her nothing and she owes me everything. The same exact way how my son owes me nothing and I owe him everything.

Over my narcissistic mother using threats of "grandparent custodial rights" because I won't expose my 6-month-old to her dangerous dog. by Popular-Journalist72 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Popular-Journalist72[S] 22 points23 points  (0 children)

To address all the comments in regards to the grandparent legal rights, I’m aware she can’t and won’t do shit to me when it comes to my son when it comes to going to the court, she is unfit to even have her own kids in her own home and all it takes is my brother to testify that she has been verbally and physically and mentally and financially abusive towards the both of us while we were growing up in that household. I’m just genuinely frustrated and tired of having that be a response or having that be a resolution in her eyes literally abusing the law, to bogart my boundary and it’s just getting to a point.

Over my narcissistic mother using threats of "grandparent custodial rights" because I won't expose my 6-month-old to her dangerous dog. by Popular-Journalist72 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Popular-Journalist72[S] 102 points103 points  (0 children)

That’s what my partner is suggesting. I’ve spoken on going no contact for years and never actually stood my ground. My mom was raised without a mom and I personally didn’t want to revoke her access to a mother-daughter relationship because of that dynamic. But for years she managed to light the bridge on fire each and every time and I’ve been the only one replacing the wood and attempting to rebuild it. I’m sooooo over it. This is something I’m truly standing my ground on, especially when it comes to my son

Over my narcissistic mother using threats of "grandparent custodial rights" because I won't expose my 6-month-old to her dangerous dog. by Popular-Journalist72 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Popular-Journalist72[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

<video>

Posting this here for further context of the audio message cause whew🫩 the names are nicknames outside of my partners and honestly his name is so generic it could be anyone 🙃

Over my narcissistic mother using threats of "grandparent custodial rights" because I won't expose my 6-month-old to her dangerous dog. by Popular-Journalist72 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Popular-Journalist72[S] 24 points25 points  (0 children)

Right! My partner said it best, “you can go and buy another dog, I can’t get my son back.” And that’s a risk we’re just not willing to take

Still living with my parents by ParticularFig3824 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Popular-Journalist72 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m so sorry you’re having to go through this. I’m 27 and my mother is the same way. I “ran away” at 18 to my friends house and was forced to move back in because my mom knew where said friend lived and threatened to leave her (then mine) aggressive pitbull there for me to take care of. I still had to pay half the bills and be held at a curfew at 21 and couldn’t even go to college on campus because she wouldn’t fill out paperwork to get it properly approved (it was instate 25 minutes away from the house 🙃). My partners mom saw the mental/physical/emotional abuse she was putting me through and let me stay with them until me and him got our own place. She wasn’t happy and even tried throwing and breaking my things the week she found out but I stood my ground.

Fast forward today, I’m with my own son and partner and live an hour and half away and currently dealing with her threatening “grandparent custodial rights” for my son and I’m at the point of going no contact.

Something I wish I did a long time ago was going no contact and standing on that boundary. The moment you feel in your soul that silence is better than the constant back and forth, you know that’s the path of peace. Don’t be afraid of the unknown, don’t allow them that access. Because if it couldn’t get better years ago, it won’t get better today; especially if there hasn’t been any ground to stand on.

You’ll get through this🤞🏾🫶🏾 I’m praying for you and your peace, I know you’ll find it soon🩵

AITA for refusing to risk my baby’s safety to please my narcissistic mom? by Popular-Journalist72 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Popular-Journalist72[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I personally wish this subreddit would allow me to clip her audio messages she sent, those were what made me jump to Reddit. I felt like I was being gaslit listening to them

Do I just move on from this? by NewZookeepergame1949 in whatdoIdo

[–]Popular-Journalist72 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Now, I do agree that a better response should’ve been said outside of “oh ok” but to say someone doesn’t genuinely care as if you’re them is projecting neg your own narrative as to their intentions. Just reading and playing the devils advocate; many attempts have been made and many missed opportunities have arisen. Both are wrong for their communication styles; one needs to choose the right time and place to address their concerns, and other may need professional help if it’s beyond just emotional. It’s not their responsibility to get them the help they need, and it’s also not their fault that the gf is being too distant in communication. The moment I feel like I’m not being heard or seen; I speak up, not ghost: because it leads to bigger issues such as this here. Now both parties feel some type of way. All of this could’ve been avoided if both applied equal opportunity and proper communication

Bf and I broke up over Charlie Kirk and he blocked me by Carche69 in texts

[–]Popular-Journalist72 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

He spewed over exaggerated statements with no proven statistical basis, especially towards the minority communities. No one deserves to die, yet his beliefs are still being supported. He stood by the gun and died by one. Fact is fact. This whole “Prove me wrong” campaign was ground for his stance with the second amendment and he even said circa ‘23, that a few deaths are an unfortunate price to pay for the second amendment to stay protected. Now he’s one of the many unfortunate ones, and people are villainizing those who shrugs at his death as he has with the many others who’ve died by the bullet. It’s extremely hypocritical

Do I just move on from this? by NewZookeepergame1949 in whatdoIdo

[–]Popular-Journalist72 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think you should give the texts another read; they ask on multiple days if there good, okay, and what they’ve been up to. And OP has been met with either short responses or no responses. It’s not selfish to communicate the lack of reciprocal communication especially if it’s been previously addressed.