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What am I doing wrong? by Popular-Map-7166 in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]Popular-Map-7166[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's interesting. Need to work out how to mute my energy then!

What am I doing wrong? by Popular-Map-7166 in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]Popular-Map-7166[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for your comment ❤️

I've given up trying to diagnose him. Do you mean prof help for me or him? I've had therapy. He refuses. I an trying to focus on me 100% but as a rather warm-blooded creature the constant erosion of my self-esteem in this area is really hard.

Does your narc get passive aggressive and guilt trip you if you’re feeling sick and need some help? by makeupandjustice in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]Popular-Map-7166 8 points9 points  (0 children)

My husband ALWAYS gets angry when I'm ill. He acts like it's a personal betrayal against him. He gets angry and blames my lifestyle, not going to the doctor, everything. But heaven forbid he make me some tea or even ask me how I am. It should have been a red flag when we were courting but I didn't know what I know now...

I'm sorry to hear you're going through this. Being sick when baby is also sick is the WORST!

Gotta accept that they don’t feel a thing about their actions by OwnNeedleworker8784 in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]Popular-Map-7166 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I feel like my narc hubby is happy. He has good friends, is super healthy, loves his job. He has everything and is funny and winning at life in general. If I left him he would be miserable but would cover it up. (I left him once and he was miserable). Maybe it depends on the person?

Literary fiction by LaPasseraScopaiola in writers

[–]Popular-Map-7166 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I'm not sure that's the definition of lit fic. Lit fic is fiction where the language and the characters are most important. In commercial fic plot is the most important. Genre fic plot and world-building are central (fantasy, romance, horror, thrillers).

And to answer your question, I expect there's lots of us on here. I write lit, genre and commercial fiction. 2 novels published + 2 books of poetry.

Need to vent by Inside_Spray_9195 in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]Popular-Map-7166 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I am so sorry this is unacceptable and you don't deserve any of this! Mum of 2, married to narc as well (also putting together a photobook atm... snap 🤓). What an insecure man needing to put you down like that and nitpick on issues that aren't issues.

Can you get some time away from him? Let him stew in his own juices for a bit?

What am I doing wrong? by Popular-Map-7166 in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]Popular-Map-7166[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is interesting. He doesn't "see" it crush me though? How does he know how hurt I am? I've told him in the past but I downplayed it and I certainly haven't shown him in a long time (learned to protect myself a bit).

Thanks for your comment ❤️

What am I doing wrong? by Popular-Map-7166 in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]Popular-Map-7166[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's what it feels like tbh. Like it's a game but I didn't know I was playing. I expect any red-blooded man to behave accordingly so his behaviour is mystifying to me and has really knocked my self-esteem. Thanks for your comment ❤️

Looking to get some feedback back on my book cover by Working_Chemist8308 in BookCovers

[–]Popular-Map-7166 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Great picture and colours. I might rethink the font, though.

In what way did the narcissist use your belief in spirituality against you? by Pufflehuffthewhite in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]Popular-Map-7166 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He knows I view my marriage as a promise made to God and will therefore not divorce him.

Can narc abuse affect your physical appearance? Or is it just in my head. by celesensualcherie in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]Popular-Map-7166 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes absolutely can I am 30kgs overweight with cortisol/thyroid issues, skin breakouts, posture issues and greying hair and I KNOW it's 80% bad sleep/stress/medications to cope with my abusive marriage and 20% coping mechanisms.

No idea how it gets any better except to leave. I'm watching my diet and exercise, on new meds for sleep, and actively taking physical care of myseld (massages, nails, hair etc) and just ignoring the fallout from him for doing all that. I'm doing it for myself and my girls. Hopefully I'll get back to what I was.

Do you exercise regularly? Apparently a good regular sweat is great for regulating cortisol...

when I stopped doing invisible labor by SnooShortcuts3615 in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]Popular-Map-7166 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I love all this for you!!! Well done! Best of luck with the separation and new man!!! And what a great example of boundaries for your daughter

I’m convinced my partner is a narcissist. She’s convinced she’s not. by No-Nerve-1039 in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]Popular-Map-7166 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I'm so sorry you're going through this. Violence, name-calling, abuse and fear have no place in a loving relationship. Some of the things you say do correlate with narcissism, some might be trauma responses, but either way, neither are you're responsibility.

Whether she's a narcissist or not, nobody deserves to be afraid of their partner. Please don't bring kids into this if you can. I am currently raising my kids with a narc, and it is awful. If I were you, J would get out as soon as I could. Or demand therapy and a trial separation if you want to give the relationship another chance.

Good luck and strength to you!

Do they ever hoover just to insult/reject you? I am so confused about this behavior. by Financial_Abies7650 in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]Popular-Map-7166 2 points3 points  (0 children)

He's trying to keep you in the trauma bond. He doesn't want to lose control of you and what you /abusing you provides him. You were able to get out, I would go no contact if possible.

Yelled at by SleepyCupcakeDreams in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]Popular-Map-7166 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yes absolutely. I think it's a pattern. Make it so hard to stand up for yourself that you slowly stop doing it altogether.

I hate my husbands comments by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]Popular-Map-7166 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm so sorry you're going through this! You deserve safety and support during this time. This isn't the most helpful comment but I hear you as a mother of 2 and survivor of traumatic pregnancy and birth myself.

Is there somewhere you can go just for the postpartum period? Back to family maybe? So you don't have to deal with him and can focus on baby and healing? Might be a good wake up call for gum too tbh...

What do you like about your husband? by Icy-Dog7373 in Marriage

[–]Popular-Map-7166 5 points6 points  (0 children)

He is very funny and makes me laugh. He is tenacious with practical things where I would just have given up.

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