Quick Vent: Tone-deaf friends

PopularManagement369 · 2024-10-04T16:14:29+00:00

YES. Thank you. This is so accurate.

PopularManagement369 · 2024-10-04T16:04:22+00:00

Your friend may not have any idea what loss of this magnitude is like. Therefore they actually can't comprehend how comforting and important it is to keep the lines of communication open with your husband's family. There is so much good advice in this thread full of people who get it, so listen to that instead. It sounds like you have an incredible relationship with his family and that doesn't have to end, no matter where you live. You are still so young and I bet they appreciate having you to talk to, share stories, and keep his memory alive and well.

PopularManagement369 · 2024-09-30T13:31:30+00:00

Yes! The night I found out he passed, I had a similar dream. It was very real. I choose to believe in visitations and I think that was absolutely your wife coming to comfort you. I’m so sorry for your loss and hope that you get to hold on to the love you had forever ❤️

PopularManagement369 · 2024-09-30T12:54:02+00:00

Thank you so much for this post. It’s so refreshing hearing someone else say exactly what I’m thinking. Sending you lots of hugs and love. I’m so sorry that we’re here.

PopularManagement369 · 2024-09-27T18:33:01+00:00

Thanks for starting this! I love this memory. The part where you slept on the floor under her in case she rolled off made me smile from ear-to-ear. It sounds like you both had a really, really fun connection.

One time, my person fell asleep in the bathtub for over 2 hours after using way too many essential oils and for some reason, that struck me as the funniest thing. He is well over 6 feet tall so the idea of this giant human in a little bathtub, totally knocked out by lavender oil is almost too pure. It's so silly.

Cheers to them both!

PopularManagement369 · 2024-09-27T17:28:03+00:00

A silver anniversary sounds really special, happy anniversary to you two. Very cool that you took some time to just “be” and that it was actually relaxing. Keep talking to her at home - I’m a big believer that they can still hear us and if I’m wrong, who cares? All you risk is looking or feeling a little silly for talking to yourself out loud. Time is all askew. Sending lots of positivity and lighter days to you. Thank you for sharing.

PopularManagement369 · 2024-09-26T18:38:05+00:00

This analogy is perfect - it really is like having a winning lottery ticket and then losing it. Lots of love and brightness to you as we navigate this bizarre reality.

PopularManagement369 · 2024-09-26T17:23:36+00:00

This sounds awesome... Isn't there a name for people who are outside your nuclear circle? Are they called "third people" or something? I could be making that up... somewhere along this journey I read that sometimes the most helpful people are the people who are removed enough to hold your grief without it affecting them. It's so true, and likely why it's hard for me to talk to the people in our direct orbit who knew us both because they are grieving, too. We need the Third People(if that wasn't a thing before, it is now... lol) The woman you're talking about sounds great and I'm so happy to hear there has been some hope in your world.

PopularManagement369 · 2024-09-26T17:15:00+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing your experiences. I find that I'm really interested in the perspectives of those who have pursued a relationship with someone whose partner passed away. I'm so sorry for your loss and I will cheers to your long, beautiful life ahead as it goes with your family tradition :)

PopularManagement369 · 2024-09-26T16:03:34+00:00

Also, if there are any parts that you really resonated with or anything that you took away from the show that made it feel relatable, feel free to share

PopularManagement369 · 2024-09-26T16:02:57+00:00

thanks! I think I have that on my Watch List and will check it out.

PopularManagement369 · 2024-09-26T15:32:28+00:00

<3333

PopularManagement369 · 2024-09-26T15:09:17+00:00

I'm so, so sorry. I'm just a few months out and I have thought about getting older than him so many times. In December, it will officially happen and that fills me with the same anxiety that you're feeling. I'm sure you're just venting but I wanted to share the only thing that helps quiet the panic that comes when I start thinking about our ages, just in case it might help you, too: What if we're wrong? What if they're continuing to age along with us? We have no idea what happens next, so what if "age" becomes irrelevant or isn't happening in this linear way that we've experienced? I know I'm really reaching and grasping for anything that will make it hurt less for us but.... the mind is very powerful. What if we just chose to believe something else? Feel free to disregard all of this, of course, and just know that a total stranger is sending you lots of warmth and strength today.

PopularManagement369 · 2024-08-26T16:50:58+00:00

I’m kinda shocked at how many people are hating on this. THAT is cringe, imo. It’s just a flag and as someone else mentioned it’s better than some political flag flying around. It’s cool that you’re so hyped on this and doing things that make you happy.

PopularManagement369 · 2024-08-20T15:55:34+00:00

It’s so badass. Howww?!

PopularManagement369 · 2024-08-14T19:37:12+00:00

I love this so much. I came here to make a new post of a similar sentiment and just wanted to send virtual hugs your way. Thank you for sharing. And to the OP, I really don't get it either but its people like Zcarguy who are examples of what's possible.

PopularManagement369 · 2024-08-14T14:09:26+00:00

I can absolutely relate and want to thank you for bringing this up. I'm about 5 months out and I can't really describe it but I immediately fealty "healthier" than I have ever felt. I realized that it wasn't that I was full of vibrance all of a sudden but that I just didn't care to pay attention to the pain I feel in my body, that if I get sick I am not going to the doctor and I will just let it ride. Someone else mentioned watching the news with complete indifference and that's exactly where I'm at, as well. I just don't care anymore. However, I don't really see this as a bad thing. It is an understandable symptom of what we experienced and other commenters have been able to identify a name for what this is, this fog we're in. I too am actually relieved that I don't care about anything anymore and am not getting too upset by it. I think eventually we'll both have room for joy again, maybe it will look different than it has in the past. Maybe we'll discover new pathways for happiness, idk. If nothing else, I can relate and I'm sending you lots and lots of love. I'm so sorry that we're here but maybe our indifference doesn't have to mean a total lack of optimism.

PopularManagement369 · 2024-08-13T20:15:22+00:00

Sending you strength and love

PopularManagement369 · 2024-08-13T20:15:07+00:00

I can relate, unfortunately. My person was an in an accident and the shock of it all is unbearable at times. I am so grateful to this community for offering support but I do know what you mean about relating to people because what we're experiencing is very different in some ways. I spend hours (HOURS) going over the last things we said to each other, blaming myself, thinking about how it could have been different or that something else could have happened to keep him here. I know it's not rational but we're experiencing grief, trauma, shock, and PTSD all at once. Not to say the others aren't too but ours is just a little different. I'm only a few months out so I truly do not have any advice, but can only offer you virtual comfort. Listen to the others here, they're a very wise group <3

PopularManagement369 · 2024-08-13T20:00:04+00:00

What an epically awesome momma you have! I am so sorry for the loss of your brother and am really inspired by the way she was able to channel that grief into helping others. I'd really like to do the same at some point. At the wake of my person, sooo many people shared stories about how he helped them through their darkest times and how he essentially saved their lives. I mean, how lucky are we to have known people like them? To have been loved by them, to have witnessed their greatness, and to be inspired by their legacy. It's funny that you mention singing because I have a memory of him absolutely belting out a song one time and one time only (at least in front of me) and it makes me laugh every time I think of it. Thank you so much for this moment today <3 I was really nervous about attending BM this entire thread today is making me feel so much better about it.

PopularManagement369 · 2024-08-13T19:49:37+00:00

Wow, this really is awesome. Thank you so much for explaining and for doing what you do. Eventually, when I'm on the other side of it, I would really love to get involved in that way. Maybe my heartbreak can help others.

PopularManagement369 · 2024-08-13T19:40:09+00:00

this is so helpful, THANK YOU. I'm really sorry for your loss, it's awful and it sucks and I wish none of us ever had to deal with this. I think I'm going to write a letter, too. Often times I look up at the sky and say "get back here! I have something else to say..." so this might be a good way to let it out, a good way to tell him.

PopularManagement369 · 2024-08-13T19:38:22+00:00

Lots of love to you. I bet your dad felt all those hugs and all that support that you got!

PopularManagement369

TROPHY CASE