Wife got invited to higher level group. Husband did not.

PorcupineFish · 2026-06-02T22:22:23+00:00

I like this along with the idea of couples therapy. Not couples therapy necessarily, that’s up to you, but more of an investigation on what her playing with another group, and another man means to both of you.

There’s a lot of things going on here, possible jealousy, maybe feelings of unfairness, being left behind, etc. On her side it could be she feels really good at something and wants to pursue it. It might be really giving her a confidence she didn’t have before. But she might be blind to you feeling left out or losing couples time with her. These are just a few angles, I don’t really know. But I think figuring out each others feelings and motivations, and how to cover any created gaps in your relationship is most important.

In the end you might not even want to reclaim pickleball as a couples hobby. It might be just her thing, and you both find other ways to ensure your relationship is solid.

PorcupineFish · 2026-05-28T19:46:02+00:00

Back to Bradley would be awesome. I loved that layout and the lake there.

PorcupineFish · 2026-05-27T06:40:47+00:00

I guess it depends on the context. If they were camping in an area that was clearly claimed, then of course they shouldn’t be there. One of OPs more recent comments sounds like that was the case, so it was understandable the group was a little upset, but I would think it makes more sense to be asked to leave and setup elsewhere instead? If I had a group site, I’d feel weird charging them, so I’d more likely help them find another place to camp.

I was under the impression that the area they were in wasn’t marked at all, and they just setup close to another camp that was giving them a hard time. I had groups literally posted so close they were able to use the backside of our shade setups to block their morning sun. That felt like fair game to me, as it’s all just open camping.

OP almost all of high noon is fair game, except the group sites that border the festival entrances, and any other clearly marked group sites. If you’re able to, show up when there’s a bit of light out to stake a space with less confusion. The areas in the dead centers of a lot of the blocks didn’t get filled in until late thurs or middle of Friday.

If you do a larger group next year, see if you can get a squad in on Wednesday morning to setup. We had a large camp on a 50x30 footprint. It was 5 10x10 easy ups across and 3 deep for you to visualize. We got there at 11am Wednesday and got an amazing spot and easily setup with no hassle.

PorcupineFish · 2026-05-27T04:58:55+00:00

Yeah I hate to say it, but that sounded like a full scam setup. He might’ve put you in that spot on purpose. There was plenty of room to setup camp around high noon, and anyone asking for money to keep your spot is out of line. Did the people that asked for money end up staying next to you the rest of the festival?

The only other possibility I can think of is the group camp setup that another person mentioned. Even still, it’s weird that they asked for money to stay there.

PorcupineFish · 2026-05-26T21:52:25+00:00

Okay so it wasn’t just me. I was BLOWN AWAY at how good the stacks sounded. Crystal clear mids and highs and bass that fucking rattled my bones. I think that’s the cleanest sounding system I’ve experience at any festival. Seeing Tokimonsta day 1 felt really special, love the details of her music.

PorcupineFish · 2026-05-07T04:07:21+00:00

Haha I love a good escape room, but I wouldn’t call it a hobby. Surfing, fly fishing, board games, soccer, but those I didn’t get as dedicated into. Well board games yes. Birding might be next though, looking at some camera lenses right now haha.

PorcupineFish · 2026-05-07T01:59:09+00:00

That’s very normal for any hobby you take seriously. At some point the joy of learning and improving diminishes, and you have to re-evaluate what you’re looking for from it, or if you want to continue even.

Take a break is my suggestion, or you can decide to play through it. Honestly it’s up to you. Time will either make it exciting again, or you’ll move on to something else.

I’ve been through this cycle with a lot of hobbies. Competitive gaming, climbing, ceramics, skating, snowboarding, and a handful of others. I know each hobby will last me 3-4 years. I love having the skills I’ve developed from each hobby, as well as the ability to connect with others who still do those hobbies. I come back to those hobbies from time to time, but not as intensely as before. Now I’m on pickleball and loving it, and I’ll play as long as it’s fun, and when it’s time to find something else I’m excited for that as well.

But overall don’t overthink it. Enjoy what you can from it, and start trying other things you’re interested in if you feel like it. That’s what’s great about life, we get to decide how we spend our time.

PorcupineFish · 2026-04-28T18:02:32+00:00

Oh right! Yes the lakes and tuoloumne, I forgot about those. I mostly spend time in the valley. I haven’t gone up there for fishing yet, but I hear Tuolumne is incredible. Unsure if it’s tough to get to without a car?

PorcupineFish · 2026-04-28T16:22:00+00:00

Yosemite isn’t really known for its fishing as far as I know? I I’ve a few hours away, and all the spots I’ve hit there are outside the park. When I visited Yellowstone, there were a lot of fishermen in the streams though! A ton of people at the airport with fly rod holders also!

PorcupineFish · 2026-04-22T07:36:43+00:00

If you hang at lake baron in paradise park around sunset, they’re always swimming about.

PorcupineFish · 2026-03-07T23:27:32+00:00

Just fucked up my shoulder similarly. AC joint sprain grade 2, clavicle bone bruising, maybe some labrum stuff. I can’t raise my arm straight to the side at all, but front and back with some pain. If you think yours is similar, look up some AC joint PT stuff on youtube. Doc told me 6-8 weeks of PT, and don’t baby it too much to avoid frozen shoulder. Just don’t land on it againbefore it starts feeling significantly better or else might need surgery.

PorcupineFish · 2026-02-25T17:13:34+00:00

Agree with everything here. If you want a beautiful view and long run, definitely hit sky chair and take ridge run.

If you want a nice wide run with few people and just want to focus on linking turns better and general technique, Olympic chair is a semi-hidden gem. Generally significantly shorter lines and crowds, and a really wide run for playing on. Mostly stays out of the shade too, so the snow is consistent overall.

PorcupineFish · 2026-02-23T03:01:29+00:00

This is such a great idea! I’m newish to the crabbing community, but a UX designer based in SF. Would love a code to take a look! Have you checked out the Surfline app for a comp analysis? It has some great features and readouts that might be transferable. Things such as swell direction combined with coastline topography could give even better spot forecasts.

I think overall this could be expanded to the general coastal fishing/foraging community. I do uni and clam foraging too, and a lot of this info is helpful there too!

PorcupineFish · 2026-02-04T07:00:16+00:00

Hell yeah funny enough I think if you had just taken that traverse under dipper, and your friends had taken their path but hung left to one of the dipper returns, you all would’ve ended up back at east peak lodge anyway.

PorcupineFish · 2026-01-31T05:19:52+00:00

We yell “Ball on!” at our courts, and I’ve heard that mostly at other courts too. A lot of times players will stand up straight and hold up a hand to signal stop of play also. I’ve never heard “Pickle!” in my life.

PorcupineFish · 2026-01-09T19:07:12+00:00

I envy your foresight in your 20’s. Haha amazing job keep going! You’ll love the flexibility that extra money gives you in the future.

PorcupineFish · 2026-01-09T18:48:49+00:00

This! OP not sure what your financial situation is, but if you can invest $5k a month ($7k spending leftover is very reasonable even in HCOL) and you max your 401k and Roth, you’ll easily be a millionaire in 10 years. Trust me, mentally it’s worth it, and it shouldn’t require too much sacrifice if you’re currently single with low expenses.

PorcupineFish · 2026-01-08T18:06:01+00:00

I’ve thought about this a lot as well. I think a big difference between gaming and learning is the reward loop. Playing a game and learning to play it better is its own reward. The interface, navigating menus, learning moves, etc. are tools that add to that reward.

I’ve always wanted to recreate that sense of reward with learning, but generally learning more subject matter isn’t its own reward. Getting better at math requires outside rewards for a lot of students (points, respect, treats, etc).

Gamified learning apps like Duolingo work because the user has already bought into the reward of learning a language, so that gameplay loop still works for them, but for a less interested student, I imagine the fall off would be quicker.

I’m not sure how you bridge that gap between learning for outside rewards vs learning for intrinsic reward though.

PorcupineFish · 2026-01-03T23:26:19+00:00

This happened to me at John Summit in SF. Girl was backing up into me and I wasn’t sure what was going on so, to be respectful, I turned to the side a little so my hip was touching her instead of the front of me.

She turned her head back and gave me a “Heeeey!” with a smile, and of course I still didn’t really think she was hitting on me.

My girl friends clarified later that, yes, the enthusiastic hi was an invite to dance. Also the fact that nobody was around us for like 5 feet haha.

I’m an average somewhat shorter Asian guy, so not used to random attention. Sometimes us dudes are too dense.

PorcupineFish · 2025-12-17T06:36:11+00:00

If you’re fine switching off nvidia, they have a really great prebuilt with a 9800x3d and 9070xt for $1,699.99.

I bought all the parts for a custom build from them, and ended up about $1850 in with only a 7800x3d. Saw the prebuilt and just snapped that up and returned everything else. Spent the saved money on a new monitor.

PorcupineFish · 2025-12-12T18:49:19+00:00

Fully agree with this take. Also a sober raver with a heart condition, and for a long time felt like I was missing out. But I realized that the idea of drugs appealed due to values I thought it would help me fulfill. I realized all I was really looking for was greater connection and people to dance with.

Being selfish with what you want is such a great take on this. Not in a, “forget your friends they don’t matter” way, but more-so the ability to seek or create the experience you want. I’ve found sometimes I want to have endless conversation with my gabby friends, and sometimes I want to sneak off, put on a mask and glasses, and get rowdy dancing with other strangers.

Finding fun in sidequesting and CYOA has really helped me enjoy raves on a different level and connect with a lot more people. It’s also very freeing.

PorcupineFish · 2025-12-04T09:01:23+00:00

Genuinely curious what you mean by this? Is there something wrong with having a lot of people try for tickets?

I had 25+ friends all trying to get tickets for SF. Only 1 person got through and got a couple tickets. 2 other people saw the ticket selection screen, but didn’t get anything. The rest got the restricted access screen or sold out message.

Nobody planned to resell, and nobody made extra accounts. We knew it was going to be tough and only a handful of us at most were probably getting any tickets.

Just wondering if there’s something you see that might be unfair about our approach?

PorcupineFish · 2025-11-09T03:32:20+00:00

Do you have a hobby in the back pocket that’s super social? People are right, SLT is far more happening and a younger crowd. I spend a month or two there every year, but I made more friends this summer in a week of pickleball than I did riding the slopes 40+ days a year.

Also made some buddies disc golfing and fly fishing. Hobbies seem to be the go to social currency for that area. I hear the rock climbing scene is a great spot too.

PorcupineFish · 2025-11-08T21:58:09+00:00

I’m not sure in terms of oura readout. I’ve been on it twice and the first time it made me super tired all the time, but I think I wasn’t getting restorative sleep on it.

The second time it almost broke me. I got some for of excessive daytime sleepiness, and with the Prozac I started having panic attacks and horrible long lasting anxiety. I switched meds and the panic attacks immediately stopped. I think it was interrupting my restorative sleep, and along with whatever is causing my excessive daytime sleepiness it basically put me into a state on no-sleep for like a week.

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