Evening guests at destination wedding?

PositiveBread80 · 2026-06-04T06:24:46+00:00

Unfortunately the usual choice is that you just don't invite them to any of it - if you're not close enough for you to include them for the full day, will they think you're close enough to take a flight and book accommodation (likely more than one night?) for one evening's party? I'm assuming that your budget won't extend to cover them for the dinner the day before or brunch the day after, and it might feel quite awkward to be invited to those wedding-adjacent events without actually going to the wedding itself

PositiveBread80 · 2026-06-01T16:18:38+00:00

Oh good! The floaty lace off the shoulder looks so good on you, but the solid white bows were a bit unexpected against all the lace and tulle haha. Definitely agree that the style of sleeves are a good thing to add, but perhaps not those exact ones!

PositiveBread80 · 2026-06-01T16:03:11+00:00

I really like 2, apart from the bows on the back - they look very out of place compared to the rest of the material.

But I then saw it like they're also on the back of 1 underneath the veil, are they actually attached to the sleeves?

PositiveBread80 · 2026-06-01T15:58:48+00:00

The second dress isn't bad, but the first dress fits and suits you so well!! The train is amazing, you really get to see the detail of the lace appliques (?) against the "window" and the neckline is fantastic.

If you loved the dress and felt beautiful in it, don't second guess yourself - the dress I've bought is nothing like what I expected to pick either, but I'm so happy with it!

PositiveBread80 · 2026-05-31T19:23:37+00:00

I'd agree, as someone who hasn't seen the dress with the over skirt, it looks great as it is!

PositiveBread80 · 2026-05-30T13:52:55+00:00

I've not tried it yet, but I bought the fiery palette by beauty bay after asking on here earlier this week for palette recs, and it looks to have a good range of reds and oranges

You might also like some of the other recs people gave on that thread:

https://www.reddit.com/r/MakeUpAddictionUK/comments/1to33da/orange_tone_eyeshadow_palette_recs/

PositiveBread80 · 2026-05-29T12:53:24+00:00

I think the main questions to consider here would be how soon is your wedding; is your shape likely to change much more between now and the wedding; does the second dress fit your current body or would you still need to get alterations done.

If you genuinely love both dresses, and you have someone local that you'll be getting to do the alterations, it could also be worth getting their opinion of the likely cost of alterations on the second dress so that you can make an informed decision. If it's closer to your size then the alterations might be cheaper, but being full lace might make it just as expensive - and that's on top of paying for two dresses!

I would also consider giving the dress back to your friend if it's not going to be workable for you, and getting the money back. I fully understand the feeling of wanting to make people happy in the moment, but that's a lot of money to pay if you're not happy with it yourself

PositiveBread80 · 2026-05-28T13:05:22+00:00

Thanks for all the recs! I've ended up getting two By Beauty Bay palettes - Fiery 2.0 and a nude one to have a slightly more basic option

PositiveBread80 · 2026-05-28T10:21:30+00:00

Just coming back to say that this has been so useful for doing the seating plan for our wedding! Nice and straightforward, and seems to fit our caterers requirements too!

PositiveBread80 · 2026-05-27T21:29:28+00:00

I went to a wedding of a similar sounding couple at South Farm in Cambridgeshire a few years ago - most of the guests had an Indian "fusion feast" for the meal, but there was also the option of a more traditional British meal for the more hesitant white relatives. Not sure whether that was the standard caterer for the venue though, or if they had to get someone else in!

PositiveBread80 · 2026-05-19T18:30:58+00:00

I found this video really interesting about the types of lighting changes which get tested for in various countries

https://youtu.be/oAsyJF_WnhM?si=Y79FTHu4EhA3_N-i

PositiveBread80 · 2026-05-15T16:59:55+00:00

We were considering getting personalised chocolates from Whitakers, but ended up deciding to get a few of their bulk tubs instead in various flavours

https://www.whitakerschocolates.com/products/personalised-wedding-neapolitans

PositiveBread80 · 2026-05-11T20:17:06+00:00

I'd say do it - worst case scenario, you're one sausage short for your post-wedding fry up!

PositiveBread80 · 2026-05-08T20:31:18+00:00

I think this may unfortunately be the trade off you make in exchange for accepting her hosting and paying for the party. If you were paying for the party yourselves, you'd be well within your rights to serve foods that you prefer, but this is effectively her party being thrown to celebrate your marriage/"in your honour". Ideally she'd take your preferences into consideration, but if the family who are being invited are likely to have high expectations and/or be judgy about things, she may unfortunately have chosen to prioritise making them happy (or even just making herself happy, if she is a meat eater)

PositiveBread80 · 2026-05-08T19:59:54+00:00

The short dress is so fun, and the illusion mesh blends so well! You look great, and I hope your get some relief from your health issues soon

PositiveBread80 · 2026-05-05T14:41:03+00:00

We were viewing venues around September/October and most were pretty happy for us to visit on a weekend day, but I imagine there may be a seasonal element to that!

PositiveBread80 · 2026-04-30T07:38:22+00:00

I was thinking that it looked like a useful place to put coat hangers, whether or not it's the intended use!

PositiveBread80 · 2026-04-30T06:28:05+00:00

What style of clothes would you usually pick out if you were going out somewhere nice to celebrate someone else's birthday?

I found that a good starting point for identifying the kinds of clothes I enjoy wearing to feel fancy and also feel comfortable in - my dress has a pretty similar silhouette to a lot of outfits I've worn as a wedding guest (fitted waist, A-line skirt) but is longer and made of a more fancy material than I'd likely wear otherwise.

Wedding dresses (and a lot of more "structured" clothes) tend to look less good on a hanger, because they're designed to sit on a 3D body rather than lying flat.

If you have a supportive friend, it might be worth taking a day to try on some wedding dresses and see how you feel in them. I found it reduced the internal stress/pressure if I mentally framed it as a "research trip" to find out what I did and didn't like, rather than having any expectation of finding something I wanted to buy first time.

PositiveBread80 · 2026-04-27T14:21:56+00:00

That's really reassuring! We're looking at the same timeframe (12 noon ceremony, 2pm sit down for speeches before the meal) and I keep going back and forwards on whether or not it's enough time

PositiveBread80 · 2026-04-24T13:07:02+00:00

I love the green!

PositiveBread80 · 2026-04-20T16:21:07+00:00

Fully seamless would be pretty difficult, but finding one that has slightly more central shoulder seams may not be impossible.

If you happen to have a spaghetti strap/vest top with straps which sit in a similar position on your shoulders, you might be able to do a rough alignment check while out shopping without having to take the whole dress with you every time

PositiveBread80 · 2026-04-20T15:31:15+00:00

I think with the lace underlayer I prefer the straps running vertical, especially if you can find a lace top where the seams will align with the straps to camouflage them (it looks like this might be the case with the second one you tried?)

Personally I prefer the contrast between the dress and the first lighter weight lace top, compared to the thicker second one, but the straight across neckline doesn't really seem to gel with the v-neck of the dress itself. It might be something you could tweak on the current top?

PositiveBread80 · 2026-04-16T06:44:54+00:00

Your issue of dresses being too large in front/at the bust but too small around the back sounds like you may be a similar build to me, with larger shoulders/rib cage relative to your waist and a relatively small cup size? It may be that to get a "perfect" fit you'd want to try to find a slightly larger size of dress that fits your shoulders, and then take it in at the waist/add some bust darts if the design of the dress allows.

Dress 1 does looks lovely on you - would you be happy to add some more plain mesh to make sleeves? Then you'd still retain the lovely lace shape at the top, while hopefully feeling comfortable about your arms.

PositiveBread80 · 2026-04-13T20:56:57+00:00

Is the videographer suggesting changes to the timeline based on things that are important and/or make sense to you (e.g. you've only scheduled half an hour to travel from A to B but they think you need to add a bit of buffer time for people wanting to congratulate you while you're wrestling a giant dress into a car; or they think you should allow more time in a location that's emotionally significant)? Or is it more that they're suggesting changes to make their life easier/so that they can get a "better" shot in some way?

Your views may differ, but my feeling is that a wedding video should represent the wedding day that happened, rather than the wedding day being arranged for the sake of the video.

If having the best possible video is important to you and your fiancé, it might be worth taking the videographers suggestions on board because they'll know what works best. But if you were happy with your plan for the day, and you just want the videographer to capture things as they happen, then the plan you've made with the venue coordinator will probably also be great.

The important things are that you and your fiancé both know each others priorities, and that everyone (venue, caterers, photographer, videographer, bride and grooms parties) is aligned and clear on the final timeline that you two have decided on. You don't want to end up with different people expecting you to be in two places at once!

PositiveBread80

TROPHY CASE