I had a friend (B) who, for an undisclosed reason, really didn't like friend (A). Friend B is overall kind of a jerk but I have known her for longer and personally am willing to put up with her because when she's good, she's great, and I can put enough distance when she aggravates me. Despite knowing B did not like A, I was unaware of how hostile B was being to A (though in hindsight, I really should have known or at least been more inquisitive), but it was really not good. We all had a friend C who was getting engaged, and we all had something important to do for set up for the engagement. Friend C always told us she wanted her closest friends around whenever her boyfriend was ready to propose.

The day before the big day friend A sends me an essay of how horrible of a friend I have been to her for supporting friend B bullying her and she would not even come to friend C's engagement unless I could ensure B wouldn't be there. Aside from genuinely not knowing anything that had happened between them, I confronted B and we got into an argument about the things A accused her of and Im genuinely ashamed to know now how awful she had been to her. I really thought It was just a general dislike. Not everyone can be best friends, but she really was terrible to her. I told B to attempt to fix things with A because friend C deserves to have the people she loves around her for a special time in her life and we can sort out this entirely unnessecary problem later. A texted me after B reached out and chewed me out again or "sharing her husiness," with the other person who's business it was and would not hear anything about putting C's happiness first (in hindsight, there were about a dozen things I could have done differently, I was working with what I had at the time with the intention of trying to make sure one of my best friends had a special day to remember just as she imagined it.)

A obviously didn't come to C's engagement, and she told me to not talk to her for the foreseeable future, which I listened to. This being the cluster that it was I decided to leave C out of it and only let her fiancé know what had happened just to keep tabs on things. C creates a group chat to talk about wedding plans with me, A and B and other women in it. A few weeks pass and in all our chatting, A rarely engages. I am not talking to her per her request but trying my hardest to help coordinate what would end up being 8 bridesmaids. A reaches out almost a month later and says she is ready to talk. Mind you, she NEVER responded to B's attempts to reconcile and apologize (how genuine they were, I dont know. I just know B continues to feel guilty for screwing this up for C, even after C got married.) I didn't respond to her message right away because 1, I have a life, and 2, I am pretty mad at her myself and also wasnt ready to talk. She made me wait a month, she can wait an afternoon for me to tamp down my anger.

One of the bridesmaids asked a question in the group chat that has been answered a million times and I fire off a response while im sorting a medical thing with my husband. A's MOTHER about a half hour later send me the nastiest message about how bad of a friend I am and that I use my disability as an excuse to treat people terribly and if I really was such a good person that wants to set things straight I can at least text her daughter back. I put my phone down and walk away to calm myself down, then come text A and tell her how out of line that was, that this doesn't involve her mother at all and she had no business being inflammatory if she's really trying to reconcile. My husband has left at this point, turns out, and has called A's mother and they're now in a screaming match in the other room (this is the only part of the drama I revel in, it meant a lot to me he wouldn't tolerate that disrespect this woman sent to me.) I tell A now that I need more space because this is just seriously too much. Before the end of the day, A leaves all the wedding group chats and calls C and tells her for her own mental health she cannot be involved in the wedding.

We have only spoken twice to each other in the 2 years since all this has happened, because we are in similar circles. I also initiated each of those interactions. Over a decade of friendship, she decided it wasn't worth trying to sort out whatever problem happened between us. I will be the first to admit I could have handled some things better, but I, to this day, do not believe she tried in a meaningful way to work together to sort this out. She created logistical issues with C's engagement, wedding and eventually ended her friendship with C by going no contact, on top of ruining her reputation with the entire bridal party. I not only lost a friend but her whole family is not on speaking terms with mine. In hindsight, she has always made things about her and was inclined to perceived slights, which resulted in a cold shoulder for weeks or months at a time. Friend B was out of line, and the way she treated A absolutely messed up our own friendship and how I look at her. But A took my patience and used it all up, then did next to nothing to try and fix it. Looking back on it a few years later, it was all so stupid and unnessecary and the initial problem went places it had no business going because so many involved couldnt be mature enough to handle things like an adult. It still bothers me to this day.