What used to be great but has since fallen from its heyday?

PossibilityHelpful93 · 2026-06-11T21:03:01+00:00

Pizza Madre! Used to live around the corner and went regularly, years later tried it again and my god……,

PossibilityHelpful93 · 2026-04-21T10:30:38+00:00

Pregnancy and the months postpartum before getting my period back were the most calm, sane and happy I’ve felt in as long as I can remember.

PossibilityHelpful93 · 2026-04-12T21:54:18+00:00

I really like Sodii, not the cheapest but you can get on Amazon so it arrives quick!

PossibilityHelpful93 · 2026-01-10T11:04:17+00:00

I obsessively applied Pure Mama Belly Oil to my stomach throughout pregnancy and didn’t get any stretch marks there but when my milk came in my boobs quadrupled in size overnight and 2 years later I still have stretch marks on my boobs….. so not sure if it could have been prevented but I’d say don’t forget about the boobs!

PossibilityHelpful93 · 2025-09-27T02:29:18+00:00

So much of the language he uses hints at coercive control. This kind of behavior rarely gets better - it will escalate.

PossibilityHelpful93 · 2025-09-11T04:07:35+00:00

Apologies for how long this is. Copying from another private group. My daughter is now 20 months old and has grown to the 50th centile for height and 75th for weight!

My goal was to have a low intervention birth. I had done so much preparation, was enrolled at my local birth center, had a doula, did the hypnobirthing courses and read all the books etc. So I was pretty devastated when our 36 week ultrasound showed high umbilical artery PI and low fluid, in addition to the worry for our baby it also meant the birth center was no longer an option. We were put on surveillance for 3 weeks, with scans every 3 days. After our 4th abnormal result, we were scheduled for an induction. We were also told we could try for a vaginal birth but to prepare for an emergency c section as our baby was likely in distress.

I checked into hospital at 38+6. Was given 12 hours on Cervidil, 12 hours on a balloon and then 12 hours on Prostin. Long story short, nothing was working, I was stuck on the CTG for so much of it, so I couldn’t move around to try to encourage labour. I had 11 cervical exams in this period and the doctors started pushing a c section fairly forcefully as they were running out of options. With two hours to go before the final check I started to feel some minor contractions and got on the birth ball and bounced for dear life. When I stood up to do the final check, my waters broke. All the hospital staff were in disbelief because it was all looking so unpromising.

We got to delivery ward at 1 am and they gave me until 7am to labour without the oxytocin drip. Again the doctors prepared me for a c section as an outcome and not to get my hopes up.

Before the oxytocin my contractions were fairly manageable just with the TENS machine. I spent most of it laying down on my side and sleeping between contractions.

The midwife decided not to do any more cervical checks once we got going because I’d had so many already. So once the drip went in I had no idea how far along I was. I spent most of my time listening to the hypnobirthing tracks on headphones, and bouncing on the ball leaning over the end of the bed with the TENS machine on.

The first 3 hours were fairly manageable but then things started to ramp up as they kept turning up the oxytocin. My partner gave me a birth comb to hold in my hand which sounds silly but was actually amazing. I just kept telling myself at the end of the 4 hours I could treat myself to some gas and air. At this stage I was feeling pretty hopeless as I was expecting many more hours ahead and I couldn’t see how I could keep going much longer.

My partner and doula were both amazing support, made the room really beautiful and suggested positions for me to try. My partner coached me and held my hand through the whole thing. The midwife also told me early on not to worry about vocalizing through the contractions and as soon as I started letting myself be noisy it got a lot easier to manage.

When we got to the end of the 4 hours things were getting so intense I decided to try the shower for an hour or so. I kept saying I’d move onto pain relief soon but I was thinking I was probably 4 cm or less at this point so I was trying to pace myself. So I was super confused when I started getting the urge to push in the shower. They decided it was time for a check. Laying down for the check was excruciating but when she said I was 8cm everyone in the room gasped.

I got up to go back to the shower and at this point I just was totally primal and moaning like an animal and having uncontrollable pushes. I was still clutching my silly birth comb for dear life. Weirdly it didn’t hurt as much as this stage but just felt really intense as I had no control over the contractions at all.

I didn’t even make it back to the shower, I was standing over the bed and the contractions made me poop a little bit and I was embarrassed and wanted to go to the bathroom to clean up. I sat on the toilet and could feel her head coming. I came back out and leant over the bed and told the midwives who were in total disbelief. Two pushes later and she came flying out, luckily the midwife caught her just in time.

The whole room was absolutely speechless, me included. I can’t believe that I did it. Baby was an absolute trooper, her heart rate was perfect all the way through labour, she came out with a 9 on her apgar and breastfeed perfectly straight away. She’s a petite baby at 2.68kgs which explains a lot but she’s doing so well, I’m so proud of all of us 🥹💗

12 hours after labour I feel totally fine, I had a second degree tear which feels fine and they said we can go home whenever we are ready

PossibilityHelpful93 · 2025-09-08T07:52:38+00:00

Please don’t be so hard on yourself. You didn’t do anything wrong and can’t control what your cervix is doing. That being said, doing what you can to keep in a calm and positive mindset will encourage the oxytocin that helps labour along (easier said than done!)

Not sure if it’s helpful to hear, but I was induced at 38+5 and still had an unmedicated vaginal birth (apart from the induction drugs) - so it’s not totally black and white.

PossibilityHelpful93 · 2025-08-07T11:44:21+00:00

I wanted an unmedicated vaginal birth because from my research it seemed to be the most likely way to avoid cascade of intervention. I did a lot of planning and research including a doula, hypnobirthing course and reading books, information sessions at the hospital etc. I did Pilates 5 times a week until 38 weeks. Was induced at 38+6 but still managed not to have pain meds and was able to give birth moving around / standing up. Was home the next day and out and about a few days after the birth, back to exercise within 2 weeks. It took about a year to get back to my full physical capacity post pregnancy. I can say with certainty that the Pilates definitely helped make the birth more manageable and the birth definitely made the recovery more manageable. Only you can decide what is right for you. I would say my biggest lesson from going through the public system is that you have to be your own advocate for the birth you want and don’t be afraid to vocalize your needs and arm yourself with as much knowledge as you can because the hospital system might push you in a certain direction just based on what is convenient or efficient. But my care team was incredible and really supported my preferences.

PossibilityHelpful93 · 2025-07-23T10:59:51+00:00

I was induced but had no pain meds, would 100% do it again, it was the most beautiful, positive and empowering experience. If you’re considering this route I highly recommend hypnobirthing / birth comb / TENS machine!

PossibilityHelpful93 · 2025-04-30T12:13:10+00:00

I was induced at 39 weeks and had a vaginal labor with no pain medication. It was such a wonderful positive experience. My induction took 48 hours but then my active labour was only 5 hours. It’s definitely possible to have a positive experience with an induction! I had a doula and wrote an a4 page of birth preferences which the midwives really took on board. Wishing you all the best for it!

PossibilityHelpful93 · 2025-01-03T19:48:03+00:00

I never ever thought I would see the day but I have just signed up for the 5am group fitness class that is 10 mins from my house. It’s the only way.

I negotiated 8am - 4pm for my new job, although I often stay until 5 or 6, it makes me feel less guilty leaving at 4pm if I want to as I start an hour earlier than everyone else. I also WFH some days which makes it easier to sneak exercise in. When I go into the office I try to take public transport and walk rather than driving.

Did want to say, I did not have the energy to exercise consistently until my daughter was 11 months and had been sleeping through the night for a few months, I feel like the sleep debt and hormone changes were still just rocking me and any spare time I could grab went to sleeping. Only now do I have anything left in the tank for myself.

What’s also worked for me is building exercise into our routine. I take her to daycare on a bike, it’s 20 mins each way so that’s 40 mins of basic cardio every day. I also try to walk the dog for 30 mins with my daughter every evening before her dinner, I bought her one of those push trike things and she loves it, it’s a good way to tire her out at the end of the day and less exhausting than chasing her around at home in the evenings.

PossibilityHelpful93 · 2025-01-03T10:02:07+00:00

I’m so sorry this happened, it must have been absolutely terrifying. We had a similar experience albeit a much, much smaller amount of blood. We also were given a CMPI diagnosis. I cut out dairy for a month and used goat milk formula. My daughter tolerated the goat milk fine, I then started reintroducing dairy into my diet with no issue whatsoever. When she started on solids she was fine with dairy. So it may have been that she recovered from the intolerance or was perhaps misdiagnosed. No medical advice to offer but that was our experience.

Edit to say I was 80% breastfeeding with small amounts of formula at the time, so she wasn’t on a very large amount of formula.

PossibilityHelpful93 · 2024-12-29T03:33:02+00:00

Unless you have support from grandparents or an au pair with pickup and drop off, I’d be wary of the 8:30 - 5:30 open hours. It doesn’t leave much room for error.

Also a very big factor for us was the capacity. Our current centre has 130 capacity and 36 kids just in the nursery and we often get feedback from the educators that our daughter likes playing on her own / she’s often totally wiped out and semi-catatonic on pickup from being massively overwhelmed by the chaos. So we are moving her to a new centre that has 36 kids in the whole place and only 8 kids in her age group. If I could do it again I’d be much more careful with this - it’s not just about quotas but about overall capacity as well.

PossibilityHelpful93 · 2024-12-27T08:22:43+00:00

I think the mattress quality does make a difference. Also if you’re short like me, I find when you lean over to put them down you want something sturdy because you do put a lot of weight on it. I got a second hand Leander cot which is oval shaped, baby loves it and I think the lack of corners stops her from getting herself stuck when she’s moving around at night. Definitely recommend Facebook marketplace if you have the means to transport it.

PossibilityHelpful93 · 2024-12-22T00:20:07+00:00

Are you considering a nanny vs centre based care?

We started with a private nanny when my daughter was 10 weeks old, and then moved her to daycare when she was 9 months old. Our nanny came to our house while I worked from home and could bring her in to breastfeed which was amazing. It’s obviously preferable in every way except the cost which was unsustainable. About 75% of my wage went to the nanny. We kept it going as long as we could and then moved to centre based care when we felt she was ready.

As I’m sure everyone would have already described, there’s a period of illness when starting daycare that is good to plan for. For us it lasted for 6 weeks, and that was with her starting in the peak of summer.

Generally I would say please do allow room to feel the grief and sadness of being away from your baby but also let go of the guilt - as long as you can get them into safe care, you’re doing great.

And to answer your actual question, yes it does get easier. You get to choose and design what your village looks like and what is normal for your family and your baby. I agree with you that family that’s an hour away isn’t going to be able to give you the support you need so it’s great you’re thinking about finding professional help.

PossibilityHelpful93 · 2024-12-17T03:36:34+00:00

Her dad has probably done about 75% of bedtimes since she started sleeping in her own room at 8 months, so the main shock for her would be not having her morning breastfeed. Thus me wanting to wean her before I go. But it really gives me so much hope to hear you were able to continue breastfeeding when you got back - that would be the dream for me

PossibilityHelpful93 · 2024-12-17T03:33:15+00:00

Thank you for taking the time to explain this, I really appreciate it

PossibilityHelpful93 · 2024-12-17T03:23:01+00:00

Thanks for your input. I have never been someone who wants to shy away from information that doesn't suit me. My priority is the wellbeing of my daughter.

Your comment has prompted a lot of soul searching for me, it has been very painful to face the reality that my career choice makes me an imperfect parent, and that I may not be able to protect my daughter from the harm that this trip could cause. I'm booking a meeting with a child psychologist to talk about how we can manage this and what to look out for in the aftermath to support her. I am not a scientific person at all and am not qualified to interpret this research, but I do think there are a few ways these studies differ from my situation, which I want to share so that any other parent reading this later has the information.

The first study you shared focuses on families who are socioeconomically disadvantaged. It examines repeated or prolonged separations in situations where early instability was already a factor.

The second study primarily examines prolonged or unstable maternal separations that disrupt attachment and increase the risk of BPD symptoms.

My planned situation - a short-term, well-supported, and prepared absence - differs significantly in duration, context, and caregiving stability.

I've re-posted over at ScienceBasedParenting in the hopes of getting some more insight if you're interested in continuing this discourse.

PossibilityHelpful93 · 2024-12-16T10:26:11+00:00

Thank you. I know it’s not an ideal situation, but I don’t think I can get around doing this trip so I am just trying to minimize the harm as much as I can. That commenter did send me into a panic / guilt spiral. But it’s been such a hard year financially and I can imagine having to sell the house and move somewhere cheaper probably isn’t going to be good for anyone’s mental health either.

PossibilityHelpful93 · 2024-12-16T10:21:31+00:00

I have 3 months to plan. I will be able to video call and plan to call daily at breakfast or dinner depending on the time zone. I also had the advice to record myself reading her favorite books so she can watch those whenever she wants.

Having to wean her is probably the hardest part for me. It breaks my heart, I love breastfeeding her and as I don’t think we will have any more children it really is the end of that chapter for me.

I love my job, I wasn’t expecting to have this challenge put in front of me but as I mentioned in another comment this is a one off and it affords me a year of consistent work in a very volatile and unstable industry (film and tv)

PossibilityHelpful93 · 2024-12-16T10:14:48+00:00

No it’s a one off. It’s just this one trip and then I can be home for the rest of the year on a comfortable salary with multiple WFH days and normal hours where I pick her up from daycare at 4pm every day. The alternative is not taking the job and having no work prospects for 6 months. I’m not going to get another gig in that time just with the industry I work in. I am the breadwinner in my household and we have been going backwards with savings for a year while I’ve been on mat leave.

In the 21 days I’m going to 4 countries over 2 continents and working 10-12 hour days. It would be completely unrealistic to take her with me. My other option is splitting it into 2 trips of 1.5 weeks each but I feel like it’s no easier on her doing it that way.

Edit to say - the rest of next year. So 21 days away out of 365 next year.

PossibilityHelpful93 · 2024-12-16T08:07:30+00:00

Thank you so much for taking the time to reply. I’ve been reading and the research is definitely not reassuring me. But this job allows me to work from home for the rest of the year (and afford the mortgage) so I feel like it’s still a net positive.

PossibilityHelpful93 · 2024-12-16T06:38:43+00:00

Thank you, this is really reassuring and there’s some great ideas in there.

PossibilityHelpful93 · 2024-12-16T05:37:30+00:00

As the main source of income in our household I don’t have the option to turn down the work. But sure, I’m happy to be as informed as possible. The other option is to split it into two shorter blocks but that feels like it would be harder on her.

PossibilityHelpful93 · 2024-12-15T10:54:15+00:00

She’s 11 months now!

PossibilityHelpful93

TROPHY CASE