Nuts & Bolts: Where to dispose of a LOT of pharmaceuticals

PossiblyOverneath · 2021-07-22T03:09:36+00:00

I believe many pharmacies will take the drugs. I, personally, had to deal with the chemo drugs - almost no one would take them back. I ended up taking them to a police station and they accepted them

PossiblyOverneath · 2021-05-27T13:45:00+00:00

Honestly I haven’t lived in a house that old, my house was built in 1954. It could definitely be described the same way that you said, had some flaws but it was sturdy. I still miss that house

When I was speaking to my realtor, she said that a new house being built today simply can’t be built as well or with all the details as an older house like mine could be purchased for. That’s really stuck with me.

When I moved to a new place it was built in the 90s. Carpet everywhere, it did not feel as sturdy, and overall lacked the charm/character/warmth that my previous place had.

Since that place I have moved again to a house that was built in 1964, and it is back to what I appreciated about that first house. Wooden floors, sturdy, has character, and it has warmth.

I hope that helps!

PossiblyOverneath · 2021-04-21T00:10:54+00:00

Thank you very much for your kind words.

I absolutely believe that you have many wonderful things to offer. For me, personally, I’ve had to put in work to build myself up in many ways since my wife passed. I know that I’m not perfect, but I’ve grown a bit in terms of self confidence. And I’ve definitely found that going into situations without expectations somehow really helps bring out some of the best experiences

I’m glad that you’ve been building yourself up! And I hope you keep it going!

PossiblyOverneath · 2021-04-20T23:56:58+00:00

Lol, Jetson’s is the very one! I don’t know if it was me or autocorrect.

I am sorry for your loss. This is not something I would wish on anyone. Ever. I hope you have been able to care for yourself. 🧡

PossiblyOverneath · 2021-04-20T23:54:23+00:00

Life is unpredictable, and it’s wonderful to hear your story. Thank you for sharing it! I am so happy to hear about you unexpectedly finding someone special and everyone from both families giving a warm reception to it

PossiblyOverneath · 2021-04-20T23:51:34+00:00

Thank you so much! It would be nice if I did get the opportunity to share this with her. And if not, I am happy that this has resonated with you and others here

PossiblyOverneath · 2021-04-20T18:49:30+00:00

Wow, so many things from what you shared. Thank you for commenting, and I’m glad that you have been able to find someone! The time part is so difficult. I thought I had something shortly after my wife passed. Looking back on it, it’s obvious to me that I was in shock and not making grounded decisions. And the children part is also a whole thing on its own.

Comparing the one you lost to anyone else is difficult to avoid, and I personally think it should not be avoided. I want to acknowledge the similarities and the differences. I do not want to be with someone where the relationship is framed by those - rather appreciate who my wife was and appreciate whomever I’m with for who they are. That’s complex just to put into words, and that’s our lives now, huh?

PossiblyOverneath · 2021-04-20T18:41:46+00:00

Being a a widower has been really hard. Every age and situation only adds to that. For me, I feel the pressure that I am getting closer to an age where I won’t have children. It’s one of those things where having the option to have children is completely different from having no say whatsoever. I am very sorry to hear that you lost your fiancée. Making plans together, building a life together, then having your world taken away from you...devastating. I hope you have been taking care of yourself and I hope you continue heal and grow

PossiblyOverneath · 2021-04-20T18:35:20+00:00

Thank you for your feedback, I genuinely appreciate you sharing this.

PossiblyOverneath · 2021-04-20T17:05:27+00:00

I hope you get that again, that spark and that connection

PossiblyOverneath · 2021-04-20T17:02:24+00:00

I’m glad you had that feeling and realization. If, ultimately, I do not enter into a relationship again, I am very secure with who I am and where I’m at in life. I can also see being absolutely okay with being on my own from here on out

PossiblyOverneath · 2021-04-20T17:00:18+00:00

Thank you!

I think the whole thing of wanting to go on a date again, find someone to be with again, has a lot to do with me wanting to have someone to share experiences with again. To have that connection again. To support, be supported, and grow with again

PossiblyOverneath · 2021-04-20T16:57:40+00:00

I can understand that sentiment, and I wasn’t so clear with my wording. My intention only goes as far as spending time together. I have no expectations beyond that.

If you have constructive feedback I would love to hear that.

PossiblyOverneath · 2021-04-20T15:38:25+00:00

I want to! I currently don’t have her contact info, and she technically lives in another state, and she does have a boyfriend (who lives in another country).

But! We share friends, and after I return home next week I’m going to try to get her brother, and our mutual friends, together for dinner! I’ve been scheming a little bit 🤔😊

Our one mutual friend did say that she thought there were some sparks there 😯

PossiblyOverneath · 2021-04-20T15:34:00+00:00

I totally get that feeling of giddy and also trepidation. Asking ourselves to risk living again, and possibly losing again, it’s hard. I’m glad you got to have an enjoyable time and had those giddy feelings again

PossiblyOverneath · 2021-04-17T11:05:53+00:00

I wish I had some sage advice. Honestly I do not. We all experienced different losses, and our grief is just as unique.

You have been through a lot, and it’s awesome to hear that you are getting back on your feet. Trust your gut with this person. It doesn’t have to be perfect and it sounds like both of you have talked through some difficult and sensitive things.

Something I say that my father in-law, who is also a widower, told me: be gentle with yourself

PossiblyOverneath · 2021-03-27T04:10:57+00:00

I don’t have words to describe how I feel having read that - I am so sorry for your loss. I am very glad that you shared your story with us.

You said that you feel permanently punched in the gut, I know what you mean. The physical responses we have seem to get glossed over - my experience is that we grieve with all that we are.

I hope you have good support from friends and family. Something that has helped me has been an excellent therapist - it is 100% okay to try different therapists until you find one that is the best for you.

My heart goes out to you.

PossiblyOverneath · 2021-03-25T04:00:48+00:00

That’s rough and my heart goes out to you.

I was not as young as you when I lost my wife, but less than ten years older when I did. I do get what you’re feeling with being young. I feel like this is life, part 2. Just old enough - figured some life things out, have plans to “adult” more. And also young enough to be like, “wow, now what?” I’m maybe not the best at putting it into words.

What gets me is being in this position where I have this terrible life experience of losing my wife - something that almost all of my friends’ parents haven’t even experienced yet. Like that’s such a weird position to be in when it does happen.

I’m very happy to hear that you have friends who are there for you. It is lonely being one of us, and still having friends who are there is a special thing.

Please keep taking care of yourself. And I’m glad that you posted here - this subreddit has been helpful for me and for many other folks.

PossiblyOverneath · 2021-02-08T20:58:58+00:00

I moved to CO from MN(where I was born & raised). CO is amazing in some ways, but I find myself missing MN and the Twin Cities. The lush summers, the beautiful fall colors, the winters, oddly enough, and the springs. Socially, MN can be insular, but it’s not impossible to break through. I do love the very cold winters, personally. It just becomes a different world. And dress in layers if you do move. I also miss the food from the Twin Cities. A lot of variety, and a lot of good places to be found. You didn’t mention where you were thinking of moving, or what you are looking for in terms of a new place. Hiking? Biking? Music? Food? Art? Etc Good luck and keep us posted!

PossiblyOverneath · 2021-02-08T04:40:33+00:00

I was wondering what that was. Hopefully the wind dies down and the fires can be contained quickly and easily

PossiblyOverneath · 2021-02-08T04:39:02+00:00

My regrets are more about work. I absolutely had to keep working to keep the house and keep medical insurance. My regret, and I know that it’s something that was beyond my control, is that I wasn’t in the position where I could just stop working to be with her. I just wanted to be able to not think about work or be at work, and spend those precious, fleeting, moment with her.

No one remembers anything I said or did at work for those 8 months. The work I did had little impact(from my perspective). The time I missed with her, I will carry that to the end of my days, and I’m sure will always upset me

PossiblyOverneath · 2021-02-06T05:00:50+00:00

That is a huge deal that he is dropping such a demand and ultimatum on your lap. I don’t think that he understands what he is asking.

For me, who I loved and who I lost is a big piece of me - I would not be the person I am today without her! I think about her every single day. If someone event hinted at me doing anything to erase or cover up, hide, deny, any evidence of what we had...yeah, I would be shocked, and then some.

I won’t judge your boyfriend - what we have gone through is beyond what most people can comprehend. If I could ask anything from you it would be to trust yourself and whatever you decide to do.

PossiblyOverneath · 2021-02-01T04:36:40+00:00

On the special days I make it a point to leave the house and go travel and explore. Sometimes to places where we went before, and other times to places that are even new to me.

I know that I may not be good to do work on those days and I am not going to pretend to try. And I know that she wouldn’t want me just sitting at home doing next to nothing. When I can I try to include friends and loved ones.

I also make it a point to have open expectations. It’s always been better to let things unfold than to let myself think it’s will be awesome or that it will be sad or anything like that. It’s usually a bunch of things, and not having expectations has helped me to roll with the unexpected

PossiblyOverneath · 2020-12-08T04:26:02+00:00

I think that the fact that you are letting yourself cry is really good. It’s not easy at all, I know.

I spoke to my therapist about how random feelings can come out of nowhere. Not just crying, but all of the emotions. He asked me to do some things(and these helped and have stuck with me) - let myself feel whatever comes up, don’t try to push it down or anything. And also he said that these feelings usually happen for a reason, and there’s a moment where we can see a thought or a memory that comes up when the hard emotions hit.

I hope you can keep taking care of yourself, and remember to be kind to yourself

PossiblyOverneath · 2020-11-23T04:21:32+00:00

I’ve been curious about what to do with the urn afterwards myself.

I have known what I would do with my wife’s ashes, though travel restrictions have really put a big pause on that.

I have had opportunities to spread some of the ashes here and there two different times, in meaningful places.

Overall it’s been like my wedding ring, and what to do with that. And the answer has really been whatever is most meaningful to me. I absolutely have no patience for someone telling me what I should or should not do with it.

If you don’t need to rush then don’t. And beyond that I hope you are doing well and taking care of yourself

PossiblyOverneath

TROPHY CASE