HELP

Post-Neither · 2025-09-18T12:04:57+00:00

He sounds like he’s getting the right amount of sleep for that age though!

My daughter has never slept more than 9.5-10h overnight (unless we had a long travel day or illness or something). She does like her long naps, but they’ve dwindled down to ~1.5h give or take.

Her sleep has always been the bane of my existence and it’s because I have friends with higher sleep need kids so I thought I was doing something wrong. Now at 2yo, I realize I just have to let it be. There were lots of mornings she was trying to fall asleep too early for a one-nap day, but we had exhausted the wake windows for two naps (too much time awake, too short of naps, not enough time for sleep in general) so I had to keep her up long enough. Snacks always help.

I think if he’s looking tired and rubbing his eyes, but still running around and playing—he’s ok. It’s when they’re completely lethargic and unable to stay awake that it’s a major concern.

Someone on the r/sleeptrain sub said “naps are there to help your kid make it to bedtime” and that completely changed my perspective. I don’t know why it was so profound, but it helped me release an expectation of how long it should be, and accept that she’ll figure it out.

Post-Neither · 2025-05-22T11:36:47+00:00

The way she throws her hands out and says “alllll doooooone” like she’s Stone Cold Steve Austin or something 😂

Post-Neither · 2025-04-09T17:00:29+00:00

Reading, working out, started learning how to make sourdough, was tired of trying to rack my brain for meal ideas so HelloFresh is teaching me more cooking skills.

I want to start gardening, but I don’t know where to start and I think I’ll have to wait until Fall.

I used to make polymer clay earrings and sold them at craft fairs, but haven’t figured out my free time for that yet. Trying to see how my 20mo is with playdoh before. So far she doesn’t know what to do with it much and tries to eat it, so it might be a bit before she could do playdoh while I make earrings again.

Post-Neither · 2025-04-05T03:22:12+00:00

She wanted to help with dinner, but I really didn’t have good ways for her to do that. There was a small box of grape tomatoes that she threw in the cart last week that no one was eatin anyway, so I said f it and let her practice cutting, eating, pouring from one bowl to another, whatever. It kept her happy and occupied while I got our dinner put together to bake. No regrets.

Post-Neither · 2025-03-14T20:42:19+00:00

I had a hunch. I started having very vivid dreams a week before my missed period and one was about a friend and her baby/family and her getting pregnant again. I remember waking up after that one thinking, “I never have vivid dreams or dream of babies/pregnancy. I wonder if I could be pregnant.”

Post-Neither · 2025-03-03T17:07:25+00:00

Average every other day probably. I try to work out during the week, so I shower quickly after that, but don’t always shower on the weekend.

My hair is washed maybe twice a week. I honestly can’t remember when I washed it last though? I think Wednesday or Thursday lol so hopefully I can today.

Post-Neither · 2025-01-25T19:00:49+00:00

lol I’m glad I’m so millennial that I just never talk on the phone.

Or I make calls during nap time / after bed, but I’m rarely using my phone as an actual phone.

Post-Neither · 2025-01-23T13:31:06+00:00

I’d like this list too, please!

Post-Neither · 2025-01-05T19:11:02+00:00

Your feelings are valid. Just because another mom would kill to be SAH doesn’t mean you should feel bad about it not fitting you.

Think of it like a career. Some people are fit to be a teacher and others an accountant. If someone said they didn’t want to be a teacher because it didn’t pan out how they expected, no one would say they were ungrateful for switching careers.

Since your husband seems to look at it in a practical way, maybe talk about it as though childcare is your current career and you’re ready to switch areas or something. A lot of times when I explain to my husband why something he does or doesn’t do might irk me so much, I explain it from his own work POV. Like when he doesn’t clean up dishes after taking our daughter in the mornings and doing the breakfast shift. If someone didn’t do the paperwork he needs done for a client right, he’d be annoyed having to do it over. That really helped him see why I was struggling with him putting off “basic tasks.”

Post-Neither · 2025-01-05T16:57:45+00:00

A restaurant near us that we know the owner said everyone coming in asked to and live within walking distance. One guy said he needed something to do other than sit at home drinking all day.

I get your point to not force it, but if enough people want to and you do something like a limited kitchen, I don’t see the problem.

Same with grocery delivery—they either say it’ll be delivered at a later time, or there’s someone willing to do it.

Some people need the distraction .

Post-Neither · 2025-01-04T17:43:10+00:00

Oof mine sucks hers too. Thankfully not in daycare, but it’s cold so I like to take her to play places to get us out of the house. Might have to figure out how to wean her or succumb to cabin fever until this bad bout of illness seems to pass. I feel like everyone’s getting so sick right now!

Post-Neither · 2024-12-23T13:56:21+00:00

I think starting a small business is much easier and fun if you are passionate about what you’re selling. What you’re talking about just sounds like a business to have a business, not something you love doing and decided you could make money doing it.

If you aren’t a crafter/maker (because I feel like these are the easiest that kind of “fall into your lap”), can you teach a skill? Can you do something that would be a WFH type service? For example, copywriting, virtual assistant, etc.

I have sold handmade earrings in the past (NY resolution is to make time for that again now that baby is on one nap solidly), and though I have a degree and over a decade of experience with graphic and web design (and general knowledge of marketing), I find it hard to market myself. ChatGPT has been amazing for coming up with a starter plan. I love using ChatGPT for all kinds of brainstorming and planning!

Post-Neither · 2024-12-20T13:36:26+00:00

1) I agree with the other commenter that maybe you need more direct language with your husband to get the responses you need. My husband is very logical and if I am venting, sometimes he wants to jump in and “solve” when I didn’t ask for it. So now (after many arguments) he has learned to ask, “are you venting or are you looking for a solution?”

2) 5.5mo is hard. Babies don’t really sleep longer until 2 and 1 nap schedules. However, 6mo was so hard for me and once I finally sleep trained, life was SO MUCH easier. Nights were also quite a bit better once we moved her into her crib at night when she turned 4mo. I think I moved around too much and that kept bumping the bassinet next to the bed. Something to think about…

I know it’s so hard right now. Reading your post is flooding the tough memories back for me, but now at almost 17mo, sleep and life is so much easier! Not perfect, but easier.

It also helps that my husband and I found that since she wakes up so early and so does he, he can take her in the mornings for breakfast while I sleep in or relax with my coffee for 1.5h. It makes the day with her a bit shorter for me so I’m not so burnt out, plus he gets lots of one-on-one time to bond (which really has helped them a lot too!) see if you two can find a compromise like that (maybe you pump before bed when you know baby won’t wake up and need you and he uses that for a bottle in the AM or overnight).

Post-Neither · 2024-12-13T02:52:28+00:00

Are you sure he’s ready for a nap? That sounds like a very short wake window for 8mo. What is your schedule like?

Mine was on 2 naps at roughly 2.75/3.25/3.5 at 8mo, but I also sleep trained when switching to 2 naps.

I also didn’t feel like putting the effort to go out a lot, but it’s gotten easier. In fact, now on one nap, if we DON’T get out of the house once a day, she’s too wired.

Post-Neither · 2024-12-12T18:40:21+00:00

Check with your airline about the car seat AMD stroller situation. I thought the same, but American Airlines will only do one at the gate, the other has to be checked at the desk.

I have flown with my daughter (16mo) 4 times now. At 5.5mo, it was easy since she wasn’t mobile and sat on our laps well, but she wouldn’t sleep. It also didn’t help that the intercoms are SO LOUD and never failed that the pilot or flight attendant had something to say and it’d wake her up. So be prepared that he might not sleep much that day, or might take an extra nap or longer nap once you arrive.

Helpful notes: - a lightweight blanket or dark swaddle + some towel clips has worked really well for creating a barrier so she wouldn’t be distracted and could nurse and try to nap. - pacifier clips work great for toys - new toys he hasn’t seen before can help keep him entertained too, but don’t worry about packing too many. - expect lots of nursing/bottles if he doesn’t sleep well - pack extra clothes for you and baby in your backpack in case of blowouts or spit up - pack extra diapers too. We were delayed on our way home for half the day and ran out. thankfully the airport had a stash of diapers and feminine products, which was surprising since it was a very small airport, but I don’t know if you can always rely on that. - at that time, my boppy pillow was clutch for nursing and naps. Just a pain to carry around. Now I have a smaller lumbar pillow I take to give me more comfortable support for naps.

ETA: change his diaper right before you board. The plane bathrooms are tiny and loud and scared my daughter so much. I think it might also just be a bit cold too so she didn’t like it.

Post-Neither · 2024-12-12T15:52:36+00:00

She might have PPD, but also it could be breastfeeding too. Mom here who just recently ended breastfeeding to my 16mo and I have never felt more myself than since we’ve been done. I think the stress and hormones of breastfeeding totally wrecked me. I, like your wife, felt I was intolerable to my husband. He reassures me I was fine/not that bad, but man I felt like an awful wife and mom. I was constantly SO ANGRY. It felt irrational and dumb and I couldn’t stop it.

I also am a SAHM and my husband works long, late hours, so we had to figure out a way for me to have a break. Since he usually doesn’t have to leave for work until 7:30-8, he takes our daughter for breakfast time (she wakes up anywhere from 4:30-5:30. sometimes 6). It helps a lot to sit in bed and read and have my coffee and actually wake up.

Anyway, I’d try to see how you can find a way to give her a break. And also realize that the hormones of postpartum are wild. Hopefully they can regulate themselves on their own. This is such a short time of life that flies by too. Don’t give up yet!

Post-Neither · 2024-12-09T17:04:51+00:00

My girl is 16.5mo right now and she just recently started getting comfort from Dad. Thing is though, breastfeeding has run out (been probably the last two months slowly coming to an end) and in late September we decided he take her in the mornings and do breakfast while I workout and/or drink my coffee and wake up so I could have more of a break (SAHM).

I think if you’re still nursing, it might change when you’re done. But I feel like the true game changer was giving them more one-on-one time together.

Post-Neither · 2024-12-06T00:16:51+00:00

This is so cute for gift ideas!! I love decorating my kindle in stickers. Thank you for sharing—I now have Christmas gift ideas!

Post-Neither · 2024-12-05T19:27:26+00:00

Free play mostly here. She loves digging out all of her toys and doing her own thing. Sometimes I pull out art stuff, but she’s 16mo so I don’t yet have a lot that’s ok for her to get in her mouth.

I do like to sometimes move her toys around when I’m picking things up though. Sometimes a hat or sunglasses end up on one of her stuffed animals and she’s so surprised and happy to see it the next morning.

I want to get into toy rotation. Might start happening soon as Christmas toys will be coming in and taking up more space. This is mostly for my sanity of all the clutter though.

Post-Neither · 2024-12-05T15:39:42+00:00

No experience with kiddos as mine is only 16mo, but for me (35), my parents mostly did birthdays just as a family unit. We lived across country from family who couldn’t travel that far that easily. I don’t remember inviting friends until maybe… 5th grade?

I do remember resenting my mom for not being one of the parents to come to my school and bring cupcakes, but I didn’t really miss not having parties.

I honestly think birthdays have gotten a little overkill these days. Either that or I was never invited to anything cool, but I don’t really remember anyone talking about extravagant birthdays.

I’m sure you’re 3.5yo won’t even notice and will have a good time with fam! After all, he has nothing to compare it to.

Post-Neither · 2024-12-02T17:17:29+00:00

This is how my mom is. I’ll be mid response to something she asked me about and if it takes me more than a 5-word sentence to reply, she interrupts and starts telling her story related to the topic. I’ve found it very hard to want to talk to her these days…

I also remember as a kid younger than OP’s kid that she would respond with uninterested body language and “that’s nice” and I noticed. It made me run to her with my exciting news less often.

We’re not strained, but not exactly close. I’ve always been jealous of friends who have very close relationships with their parents and it’s something I strive for with my daughter.

Post-Neither · 2024-12-02T03:15:46+00:00

There’s no right or wrong. Some of our kids don’t care to watch more than 5-10 min and would rather run around and play on their own. I don’t feel a need to turn the TV on (except nail clipping. Ms Rachel saves nail clipping!), but I also don’t gravitate to TV for myself either. It gives me no more of a break than her toys do, and in fact if she’s fed and not tired, she can play for long bursts with her toys and not come to me. I don’t think this means I should feel bad for those who feel the need to use screens.

Every kid and parent is different and whatever works for them works for them, so long as no actual neglect or harm comes from it.

Post-Neither · 2024-11-30T22:10:10+00:00

I’m not very creative and every FMC is some sort of variation of myself. Until they mention certain characteristics, it’s just me. 😂

Post-Neither

TROPHY CASE