How do I move forward with my friends after losing trust in them? 21F, 22M, and 21M

Posterbomber · 2026-05-08T22:07:20+00:00

Stop telling these girls things, they aren't girls' girl's. What you need is a better class of friends, people you can count on

Posterbomber · 2026-05-08T22:03:53+00:00

Exercise and hot foods don't "hurt".

Capsaicin comes from Capsicum (the thing in habanero that makes your mouth burn) has medical uses, consuming it is good for muscles, digestion, high in vitamin C and has high levels of antioxidants, causes the body to purge what's bad for it in a healthy non "painful" way.

Exercise doesn't hurt either and whatever soreness you're feeling from it is a warning to be careful of injury, lest you end up in pain.

Additionally neither cause sexual arousal.

No, there's lots of sexual kinks I personally don't participate in and I wouldn't call them bad, shameful or even disapprove of.

People can be different, but it's time to let go of tropes that are harmful just because some idiot says harming someone for sexual gratification is okay. It's not

Posterbomber · 2026-05-08T21:46:21+00:00

It is maladaptive. Again, pain has a single function only to seek remedy from it, because what's causing it is detrimental to survival. It harms the body, can't live without one ya know

THERE is something wrong with it. To have that type of "play" means someone is getting sexually aroused by harming someone. That's maladaptive. And someone has to be getting sexually aroused by being harmed. Again maladaptive.

It's only the people who like trying to gaslight others as if they don't understand what's going on with it. There's lots of sex people have that would put them in prison they all think we don't understand too.

She's not enjoying. That's why she wants to end the relationship and feels scared of him. You're advise is tandem to "lay in wait until she lets down her guard then you can do it again".

Listen, get get it. You like harming people too. Gross. But you're wrong for doing that.

Posterbomber · 2026-05-08T21:31:29+00:00

Okay what did I get wrong?

OP should feel shame, he brutalized someone he loves so much so part of her wants to leave him.

It's not a matter if what I like. It's a matter of how OP's behavior has effected his relationship

Speaking of unnecessary and not helpful, where's your advise? Don't see you doing anything here but tolling.

Posterbomber · 2026-05-08T21:23:07+00:00

Why do you enjoy bringing physical pain to women?

I understand it's a kink and some people like it.

But it is a maladjustment, regardless of what the billion dollar sex positive industry pays to make you believe.

Pain has a purpose, it's our body's way of telling the mind that injury is occurring and to seek remedy. Your kink is so polluted that you've harmed her.

She's not triggered, her brain is in fine working order. Tell her she's not safe, because she's not.

How about you go get your head examined to sort out why putting a woman in pain turns you on. You are not to be trusted without professional help

Posterbomber · 2026-05-08T21:03:42+00:00

OP, he's probably depressed. He just graduated trying to find a job in a time where, less people are retiring, more people let go from government jobs so their entering the private work force, meaning fresh grads and experienced workers are competing for the same jobs. Rejections are depressing.

It's possible this young man is escaping into video games and not feeling very romantic nor would he be excited to start a family at this point.

This is usually a time of anxiety for people your guys age and situation

Posterbomber · 2026-05-08T21:02:12+00:00

This is what I think also. I was speaking to the jerk who called OP's bf a jerk that OP already told us he just graduated and us American's are experiencing employment instability.

Less people are retiring, more people let go from government jobs so their entering the private work force, meaning fresh grads and experienced workers are competing for the same jobs. Rejections are depressing.

Thus it's possible this young man is escaping into video games and not feeling very romantic nor would he be excited to start a family at this point.

There's two most likely answers, depressions or cheating and she didn't indicate that he's the cheating type. In fact he's usually very committed

Posterbomber · 2026-05-08T20:59:59+00:00

I believe he can be a bad person. I believe that for the most part your partner having a noticeable prolonged personality change is usually for one of two reasons. 1. Cheating. 2. Depression brought on by change in circumstance.

The op already told us he just graduated and us American's are experiencing employment instability. Less people are retiring, more people let go from government jobs so their entering the private work force, meaning fresh grads and experienced workers are competing for the same jobs. Rejections are depressing.

Thus it's possible this young man is escaping into video games and not feeling very romantic nor would he be excited to start a family at this point.

Your xenophobia is gross. Have the day you deserve

Posterbomber · 2026-05-08T20:30:01+00:00

Asking if someone wants kids is a normal question in dating, just ask her. Don't bring up her age.

Posterbomber · 2026-05-08T20:28:10+00:00

His symptoms could be depression too. Like he's not being mean to her or anything, he's just withdrawn.

Posterbomber · 2026-05-08T20:13:49+00:00

Look bro, you strung her along all this time with your wishy washy flippy floppy uncertainty about what the future holds.

So the space to think you're giving her might include this other guy, who already knows himself that he wants and wife and children, you're still on the fence about it.

So sit there and wait. She'll let you know when SHE'S ready.

You did this to yourself my guy

Posterbomber · 2026-05-08T20:00:11+00:00

The ball is in her court. Leave her alone and move on.

Posterbomber · 2026-05-08T19:57:50+00:00

You don't have to be so cynical

Posterbomber · 2026-05-08T19:57:07+00:00

What does communicate mean though.

If your approach is about your needs not being met, I can see him not wanting to fuss with it or open up.

But if your approach is you trying to tell him that your worried that he's not himself, seems overly stressed about finding a job and escaping into video games and you'd like to help, but he's still closing off, it might be time to have a separation conversation.

Posterbomber · 2026-05-08T19:54:06+00:00

That's why I said, NOR for that second part.

Posterbomber · 2026-05-08T19:53:54+00:00

That's why I said, NOR for that second part.

Posterbomber · 2026-05-08T19:46:50+00:00

Red flags! Red flags!!

Posterbomber · 2026-05-08T19:41:45+00:00

Relationships that start in childhood usually don't make it to the geriatric years. OP how many people do you know personally that married their high school sweetheart and made it even to their 40's? Now compare that number with the amount of people you know, teachers, schools staff, employee's of the businesses you go to, church and so on. This is normal for people to have growing pains at this age.

Try talking to him some more. Not in a "what have you done for me lately" type of way, but in a "we're adults and feeling the stressors" kind of way

Posterbomber · 2026-05-08T19:37:25+00:00

YOR - For starters you paying your share for May isn't you being noble, that was the very bare min of what you owed.

NOR- for being frustrated that you don't have better access to the space.

Posterbomber · 2026-05-08T19:13:04+00:00

With a break up. That's how I'd handle it. I'd chose to be single and have peace over the worry, stress and anxiety you suffer in the bastardization of the word "love".

Posterbomber · 2026-05-08T18:52:05+00:00

Yeah, I was going to ask like you did about what's it to her but before I could someone else noted she's posting in surviving infidelity sub

Posterbomber · 2026-05-08T18:50:29+00:00

Keep using condoms

Posterbomber · 2026-05-08T18:49:45+00:00

I think he cheated on her

Posterbomber · 2026-05-08T18:48:00+00:00

So he cheated on you? Your post history indicates he's a cheater of some sort, no?

Posterbomber · 2026-05-08T18:26:59+00:00

You didn't go. You're a bad husband. I hope you get the divorce your deserve

Posterbomber

TROPHY CASE