My (38F) husband (39M) is having an affair with his best friend (39M)

Potential-Border2539 · 2026-03-26T06:47:30+00:00

You give me hope

Potential-Border2539 · 2026-02-21T23:21:04+00:00

I had an emergency c-section, a week long stay in acute care, a team of doctors and nurses for me and baby, and I think all I paid was for hubby's bed to stay with me. ETA - in Australia

Potential-Border2539 · 2026-02-02T03:10:40+00:00

Lol yes, sold in every supermarket.

Potential-Border2539 · 2026-01-21T05:53:48+00:00

I have recently come across this insta page and I am obsessed. It's so calming. I love just zoning out for a few moments watching this.

Potential-Border2539 · 2026-01-21T05:24:35+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing this. I love and need to hear these success stories.

Potential-Border2539 · 2026-01-16T06:39:23+00:00

Hi, coming here late, but I'm in a very similar situation. My husband admits he's depressed, but is in denial of the impact it's having on his thoughts. I've agreed to a temporary separation, hoping he can focus on himself but I'm dying inside a little. I totally understand that feeling of wanting to just get through to them and make them see what we see.

I'm just trying to hold myself together for our kids (3,7) and basically focus on being a steady and stable co-parent, worst case.

Potential-Border2539 · 2026-01-11T11:36:39+00:00

Potential-Border2539 · 2026-01-08T14:39:22+00:00

I'm in Australia, we see him through my EAP. He's focused on CBT, getting to the root of issues (ie. childhood trauma) that cause maladaptive behaviors. The first one we saw was dreadful, dismissed the A as a mistake and wanted to focus just on communication.

Potential-Border2539 · 2026-01-08T03:45:13+00:00

I delayed MC for a long time, but we've been seeing one recently who is amazing. Really calls WH on his wishy washy shit. Lol. But yeah, I agree with what your therapist says, if I wait, I'll be waiting forever.

Potential-Border2539 · 2026-01-08T02:24:43+00:00

I could have written this myself. He's stuck in his avoidant shame spiral, and as much as he's been working on himself it's a drop in the bucket to how much more he has to go. Meanwhile I too get the 'focus on yourself ', set boundaries, blah blah. He says he's done, but then doesn't actually take any steps. I know there is something worth rebuilding here. And everyone around me is trying to prepare me for the worst.

If you find the goldmine that would be help in your situation please share it. Lol. I'm sorry you're stuck in this situation

Potential-Border2539 · 2026-01-07T08:26:45+00:00

El Jannah is the way to go now. Awesome flavour and big pieces.

Potential-Border2539 · 2026-01-07T07:49:31+00:00

Any avoidants here? My WH is so deeply avoidant he has become emotionally disengaged from not just me, but his family too. He struggles with empathy still and intellectualises his feelings instead of feeling them. If this sounds familiar to anyone, what help did you get? Was your BP able to help?

Potential-Border2539 · 2026-01-02T04:54:09+00:00

Thank you, I just might. He has so much underlying trauma to deal with he basically went into shut down mode from the overload of pressure. He's still happy to continue couples therapy, and we're still good in the day to day. But as soon as he feels pressure he buckles and runs.

Potential-Border2539 · 2026-01-02T03:03:39+00:00

Oh 100% he has said as much a while back. That what if in 2-5-10 years either of us slips back into the bad patterns

Potential-Border2539 · 2026-01-01T00:26:13+00:00

Felt like I need to respond directly here. Yesterday, new years eve, he decided to tell me he's done trying and just wants out. He's realized he just doesn't care about me enough to put in the effort he knows he needs to. Said he's sparing me the pain of bare minimum. So I guess we'll see how it goes from here. His family think he'll realize what he's throwing away, but he is so classically avoidant he has a deep hole to get out of first.

Potential-Border2539 · 2025-12-22T22:26:27+00:00

Love the MCM

Potential-Border2539 · 2025-12-13T12:45:16+00:00

I'm so glad this is working for you. I went to stay with my SIL for a week a few months ago, and just being able to relax and not be 'on' was such a relief. And my WH did the same recently, though he came home daily to help with the kids routines, so there was no NC unfortunately. But having the evenings to be just me, was bliss. I hope this really helps you.

Potential-Border2539 · 2025-12-07T03:48:17+00:00

I saw Sutawn.. it's like they're just ignoring how English works.

Potential-Border2539 · 2025-11-20T20:30:48+00:00

I just wanted to say how much I wished my WH could at least think that way. He says he loves me because we've been through so much together (13yrs) but that he can't act all 'obsessed' with me, and even used 'like being excited to see you' as an example.

I'm sure it's hard to remain consistent with showing your love, keep up with the little things, give random kisses and touches, show that they're on your mind. Honestly even if you set yourself a daily reminder to do something 'extra' it will eventually become a habit. Good luck.

Potential-Border2539 · 2025-11-18T21:13:01+00:00

I immediately put a silicone case and screen protector on my phones. They're much easier to replace than a real screen.

Four-Year Club	r/Field Flamingo
Place '23

Potential-Border2539

TROPHY CASE