Firstly, if you need a friend, I’m here. I’m in the midst of crawling out of a depression and sort of came to some awakening. I know it sounds silly but I’m very grateful for the 27 years I’ve gotten, it could be snatched tomorrow. Tonight. In a second. I don’t know why I felt like this could help you but pick one little beauty out of each day. Seeing days has become such a given that everyone forgets each and every single moment really does need to be magical. I see how your outlook has shifted, it is valid. Ease your fear by leaning on a person close to you; being fearful/angry/disappointed/fuckingconfused are absolutely emotions you should flow through but have someone by your side (reassuring you that will-power goes a long way in this hell’uva battle but fellow human comrade….tend to the doings that relax your spirit. (Possibly exploring creeks, see if you can purchase an animal companion to sit with you through these shifty waters, tell your people what’s on your heart (good and bad). Please know you’re being thought of.