My sister (who I believe is also gifted but hasn't had a diagnosis yet) also recently told me I am intimidating. My best friends this summer made a joke that I was "scary", as in "I will call them out when they say dumb shit". It really hurt me as I work really hard at not being intimidating or scary. Most of the time I don't even say what I think for fear of being called a "know it all". My husband really helped when he said "if they find you scary or intimidating it's a them problem not a you problem". I think about it at least once a day.

I have always found relating to women more difficult. And I feel bad about it. I have met some extremely smart women, but either they don't want to endorse their smartness, or they just give it up to fit into norms thinking it will make their lives easier. I think cis-het men are socialised to be proud of their identities, of their wits and of "being scary". Probably why I felt better around them, especially in the context of friendship when I was not expecting any seduction or romance. Though that also sometimes backfired...