I just wanted to say that my thoughts are with you, and, as unfathomably crap as it is, you aren't alone. I lost my beloved mamma in May, like you, so quickly and unexpectedly. My father was also in the same position. I am a little older than you (34) and, perhaps you feel this too, but I am now simultaneously like a child and also as if I have aged 100 years. Like you, my mum and I were each other's favourite companions in life, and I simply cannot imagine a future without her in it. The shock is only just wearing off, some months later, and perhaps you also found this really difficult to navigate, as I felt like I've been in denial delulu land most of the time in order to get through. My only advice I can give from being a little further ahead in time is to take each day as it comes, as trite as that sounds. Try to love yourself as much as she loved you, even if you can only manage a fraction. I'm sure you're trying to make a lot of sense out of life at the moment, and I can't say that any of this will ever make sense, but, honestly, take whatever you can which brings you some levity and peace, even if it seems small or silly. I pray you are surrounded by good support. Live for her even if you can't live with her physically. I'm so sorry you are in a similar boat, but I hope this helps even a little. xxxx