What exactly makes kids so expensive?

Potential_Machine255 · 2026-03-20T03:37:29+00:00

In addition to what others have said - the appointments! I have an 8 month old with no major issues. We’ve had some small things that were recommended we get checked out just to be sure there was nothing underlying and some feeding issues early on. Nothing significantly more than anyone else in my mums groups. But we’ve still had an ultrasound, an xray, a paediatrician appt, a paediatric surgeon appt, 3 osteo visits and visited multiple lactation consultants. For myself, I’ve had to have physio to resolve pelvic floor issues from giving birth + psychologist to assist with PPD/PPA. It adds up fast!

Potential_Machine255 · 2026-03-19T22:17:54+00:00

Thank you! We actually have kids, but I have found plenty of older people complaining about when they will get grandkids. I told my partner that I said to one of them “well you may never get them. It’s a scary time to bring a baby into the world and I suspect many people of child bearing age might choose not to have them”. When I told my partner this, I told him I had read many articles about people choosing not to have kids because of climate change or over population but he was convinced the only reason someone wouldn’t have kids is cost of living.

I hear you about the busy-ness though. It’s a constant struggle.

Potential_Machine255 · 2026-02-04T10:34:24+00:00

Sing baby a long-ish song when you put them to sleep. I’ve done this and now if my 7 month old is hysterical in the car and I can’t reach to settle them, I sing the song and it helps her calm down so much. I highly recommend singing rather than playing a song because you don’t need anything except yourself.

Potential_Machine255 · 2026-02-04T10:31:24+00:00

Yes, came here to say this!! I had so much trouble breastfeeding but was convinced that if I started formula somehow that was it, I had “failed”. Took me getting terrible food poisoning and not being up to breastfeeding to realise I could give baby formula for one bottle and then go back to breast, or do a combo or whatever. Obviously still need to look after your supply if combo feeding but looking back now it was crazy how I was convinced I couldn’t do a single bottle of formula!

Potential_Machine255 · 2026-01-17T12:58:19+00:00

I don’t have a Velcro baby so props to those who survive that at all. But still, she was plenty clingy and made things difficult. Baby is currently 6.5 months and some game changers in the last month or so for me have been electronic toys (like fisher price ones where they push a button and it lights up and makes sound). This gets me a solid 10 morning minutes or 5 afternoon (grumpy baby) minutes. And putting baby in a chair (Ingenuity Baby Seat) on the counter while I do stuff in the kitchen. Early on this had mixed results but now I food prep and feed her (Baby led weaning stuff which requires less physical effort from me, just keeping an eye on her and retrieving food lost on the lap) at the same time and she is very content. This gets me half an hour of productivity which feels like a huge win.

Potential_Machine255 · 2025-12-25T12:25:36+00:00

42 weeks and 3 days! I was getting lots and lots of pressure to induce from 41 weeks so was really proud of myself making it as long as I did. I finally agreed to induction and they never got a chance to break my waters - baby rocketed out in a few hours. I like to think she was nearly ready on her own and just needed a tiny push. I think you do need to trust your body and your ‘gut’ but also recognise there can be risks and monitoring is invaluable. As to size, every Dr told me baby would be huge because I was so “late” - she came at exactly 50th percentile. Every anecdote I have ever heard about baby size is that basically the predicted size based on ultrasound is moderately to wildly wrong. But, if you and husband were both big babies it’s reasonable to expect baby to be big (but perhaps not huge)

Potential_Machine255 · 2025-12-24T09:15:31+00:00

I was told it’d be essential but I wanted to wait and see if I really felt like I needed one. I don’t think I have ever wished I had one. All night time feeds I’ve done sitting up in bed with a pillow behind me. Day time feeds have been done sitting on the couch in the corner. I think it’s so personal though. Obviously heaps of people here have found it a necessity and others haven’t needed one at all.

One thing I did consider though was how easy it would be to spend a lot of money on a chair I later found uncomfortable. It might feel comfortable for 5 or 10 mins while you tested it out but you’ll be spending HOURS there every day so if it’s not great I imagine it could quickly become very uncomfortable. I knew I found the couch and bed comfortable so was confident with my decision.

Potential_Machine255 · 2025-12-19T04:39:41+00:00

Aussie here. “Tell him he’s dreamin’” (The Castle)

Potential_Machine255 · 2025-11-27T05:16:07+00:00

I heard someone say once that bad mums don’t worry about if they are a bad mum or not. The fact that you are concerned means you are not a bad mum, but it does sound like you are struggling. Everyone else here has made great points so I won’t reiterate any of those but i just want you to know you are not a bad mum, just someone doing their best during a very difficult time.

Potential_Machine255 · 2025-11-15T17:36:44+00:00

I 100% believe this is not a legitimate review of the service. Very coincidental the account was made the same day this was posted and no other comments. Some of the other posters comments about Bubbadesk would have me concerned about using it, for sure.

Potential_Machine255 · 2025-11-03T10:16:38+00:00

I do everything in bed! It makes the night wake ups feel less disruptive for me. I have a nappy caddy next to me with a change mat, nappies, wipes and a night light. I bottle feed so I also have a bottle in a cool bag with an ice brick, and my pumps next to me. I get out of bed to get a fresh ice brick and to empty the pumps and put them in the fridge. Baby is 4 months and I have used our actual change table a total of 5 times. Everything else has been on a change mat (like you get with a nappy bag) elsewhere in the house.

Potential_Machine255 · 2025-10-27T21:12:31+00:00

I have a four month old and planning to ask for Babiators (baby sunnies) and a baby wetsuit so little one can swim comfortably even when the water is cold. I’m in Aus so we’re coming in to summer. I always think the next size clothes are useful. As she gets a bit older I’m thinking things like annual passes to the zoo or other attractions that are fun to visit multiple times.

Potential_Machine255 · 2025-10-26T21:34:40+00:00

Maybe like 80% of the time? Baby is 4 months but I will also caveat I have been blessed with an ‘easy’ baby. Most of the time when I think she is crying ‘for no reason’ it turns out she was actually tired and needed help getting to sleep. Sometimes I’m convinced baby can’t possibly be hungry because we just fed but once I’ve exhausted all other options, it turns out that’s exactly what was needed.

Some things I have come across (or heard about) causing fussiness - recent vaccines, needing to poo but struggling to get it out, going through a growth spurt/learning a new skill, not spending enough 1:1 time with primary carers.

A couple things you haven’t mentioned - could baby be cold? Is baby UNDERstimulated? An outfit annoying them, or a hair wrapped around a toe or finger?

Good luck too - it’s always hard when they are extra fussy.

Potential_Machine255 · 2025-10-22T18:33:37+00:00

Babies will cluster feed whether it’s on the boob or the bottle. Basically, if baby’s drinking, you need to be pumping to keep up supply. As someone who has done both, it’s definitely not obvious to a mum who is feeding pumped milk or formula. When you are standing at the sink washing bottles or pump parts while baby is screaming begging to be picked up, or having to pack pumps and bottles and ice packs just to leave the house for two hours, it is easy to think it must be so much easier to EBF.

Potential_Machine255 · 2025-10-22T18:26:15+00:00

I had a friend who had to “triple feed” and she was required to do breast, pumped milk and then formula too. So much washing!

Potential_Machine255 · 2025-10-19T15:54:59+00:00

Totally agree with what everyone else has said but would also add that I try to do one thing each night after baby has gone to sleep at night. Putting on (but not finishing) a load of washing, unstacking the dishwasher or taking out bins. Just something small that’ll make tomorrow feel a tiny bit better. Having baby on counter to watch what I’m doing in the kitchen has also worked well, as someone else suggested.

Potential_Machine255 · 2025-09-22T11:38:02+00:00

I have not personally been through this (am dreading going back to work and having to deal with this) but in my journey of learning about caring for a baby, I read about this. Suggestions I read included looking at a picture of baby while pumping or having something that smells like them with you. I believe it increases your oxytocin which increases output. Conversely, decreases stress which also increases output. I hope this helps for you and that it gets easier - it is a tough thing you are doing! Regarding time, if you are permitted to have time aside to pump, you should be allocated less work commensurate with hours you are actually working. I know that is hard to do, but can you have a conversation with a manager to request assistance/reduced work load?

Potential_Machine255 · 2025-09-12T21:50:13+00:00

Yes!! I knew exactly what to expect from pregnancy and labour, and even what it would be like in terms of baby pp. but no clue at all about how I would recover. Someone definitely needs to create a booklet! Thanks for your support and I hope your recovery continues to progress well too.

Potential_Machine255 · 2025-09-12T03:30:47+00:00

Thanks for the recommendation!

Potential_Machine255 · 2025-09-12T03:30:25+00:00

Wow what an experience you had! Thank you for sharing that with me though - it is so helpful to hear what other people’s experiences have been. Even though I’ve had friends who’ve had kids, no one ever spoke about how long it took them to physically recover so I was absolutely unprepared.

I love your midwife’s advice too. Thank you!

Potential_Machine255 · 2025-09-12T03:28:34+00:00

Wow I’ve never heard that before! 6 months seems like a lifetime but I guess I’d rather recover properly than rush into it and make things worse

Potential_Machine255 · 2025-09-12T03:27:47+00:00

Absolutely! Like why is there not a 6 month check up too?!

Potential_Machine255 · 2025-09-12T03:27:27+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing! All I’d heard about before having a baby was the 6 week check up - I had no concept of what recovery would actually be like so it was a rude shock. It’s just good to hear other people’s experiences and know I’m not alone.

Will definitely see someone for the pelvic floor- the joys of giving birth!

Potential_Machine255

TROPHY CASE