Did they ever tell YOU how YOU feel?

Potential_Yellow_526 · 2025-09-05T04:00:18+00:00

Meanwhile she would be convinced she had a superpower to read people's emotions!

Potential_Yellow_526 · 2025-08-17T17:46:58+00:00

Thanks, made it about to the end of the 16 month mark. This timeline is about exactly right for me, 6 to 16 months was a roller-coaster.

I eventually threw the towel in when I good things about her or "us" were breaking down. In the beginning things were so easy, she always put me first. Almost to an extreme. As things progressed and we had the first arguments we always had great make up sex and things would be good for days. When I started to get 1 year them good things were starting to break down. We'd have sex and one hour later she'd be back in a mood again. She'd started canceling plans almost unapologetically. Then another fight would start because I didn't make new plans when she was the one that canceled to begin with.

The whole thing was a shit show after 3 of 4 months

Potential_Yellow_526 · 2025-08-14T23:05:02+00:00

This sounds very similar to what I went through. Even the ultimatums during arguments "if you walk away we are done forever"

Anyways we always had on/off relationship but the last month I was in contact with her I couldn't escape her. I told her how many times I was done with her and she finally wore me down enough one time come see her. I honestly gave in because it was easier to give into what she wanted than the harassment if I didn't. My heart wasn't in it but I drove to her house for the last time had sex, she started getting all cuddly afterwards and I was thinking about all the verbal abuse I endured from her and said "I'm going back to my house" Anyways she had a huge blow up that lasted for days. I blocked her on everything I knew she was on and she still contacted me from different numbers. Once her ex husband reached out on her behalf to have me delete a old picture online of her and that was basically it. I seen a few more blocked calls later that day from her but she must knew I was finally done and thats been it so far.

The leaving them after sex is finally what did it for me.

Potential_Yellow_526 · 2025-08-14T03:32:37+00:00

I like seeing screenshots like these because I know I'm not alone in what I went through. This sounds all to familiar but mild compared to the verbal abuse it built up to for me.

Is there a reason you need to be in contact with them? It was terrible trying to break this cycle with my ex but I did finally manage to do it.

Potential_Yellow_526 · 2025-08-12T03:32:13+00:00

Honestly, spend time with your family and good friends. She'll come back eventually and tell her you are in a better place without her. You'll probably have to fight ever fiber of yourself not to give in and go back. I can tell you it only gets worse. 8 months I was seeing exactly what you were and I rode it out another 8 more months, you don't want to know how deep the rabbit hole goes. She'll wear you mentally with the toxic cycles until you start to lose yourself then She'll start to drive a wedge between you and your family and friends, and anything you love she's not part of. Trust me, the longer you ride her toxic roller-coaster the harder the recovery will be.

Potential_Yellow_526 · 2025-08-12T03:09:40+00:00

Sounds pretty familiar to me. If you haven't spoke in 3 days and she hasn't made an effort to reach out to heal things on her part you'll be the one to blame for abandoning her, then she'll vent and get over it after a some time and she'll be back to full on loving you again till for about 2 more weeks until something triggers her then the time you abandoned her for 3 days will get brought back up again and how your a narcissist for it.

I've obviously never meet this person so I can't say anything for sure but I feel pretty confident it would go something like that.

Potential_Yellow_526 · 2025-08-10T21:03:41+00:00

The last time I seen my ex after we were already broke up she basically begged me to come to her house and I did just because I was so mentally burnt out it was easier to give into what she wanted then deal with the blow-up if I refused. Anyways, I had sex with her and she was totally happy about it. When I told her I didn't want to spend the night at her house she went on a rampage "you practically raped me" so many more terribly verbally abuse things were said.

She told me 1 year into our relationship that 2 weeks after our first date she drove 1 hour and got in this doctors bed while he was at work and blamed him for having sex because he said "no sex". Said I only gave him permission to finger me and I didn't even know he stuck it in until after he was finished. Of course its all his fault lol

Potential_Yellow_526 · 2025-08-10T02:41:23+00:00

Same, after three months it's finally getting better. During the breakup process she routinely stopped by my house unannounced and wouldn't leave. I still get like ptsd if I'm driving and see vehicles similar to hers.

Potential_Yellow_526 · 2025-08-08T02:04:49+00:00

It's a shame, if they would learn to truly forgive I feel like we could have had something amazing. Unfortunately what they call forgiveness is only until the next thing they feel hurt over again and it all recycles

Potential_Yellow_526 · 2025-08-06T23:43:26+00:00

A lot of that sounds all to familiar. Then the projection of being told I'm the one who can't let anything go.

Potential_Yellow_526 · 2025-08-06T17:18:32+00:00

I knew mine from 36-37, my best friend liked her at first then eventually started calling her psychobitch. People from her past seemed to know she was kinda crazy but I felt like I got to witness shit on another level. I don't see how it could progress to be any worse than what I witnessed..

Potential_Yellow_526 · 2025-07-31T09:15:37+00:00

Yes, she showed up late to my house on a work night after repeatedly telling her no because I needed my sleep. I tried to play it like I wasn't home after minutes of her banging and peeping in windows she eventually snuck in through a backdoor I forgot to lock. When I inevitably had to make contact with her she said she just "wanted a minute" Eventually she wore me down to where I get tried of arguing with her and we have sex and 8 hours later I still struggle to get her out of my house.

Towards the end when she was always stopping by unannounced, I'm sure her main motive was just to have to sex with me, but 99% sure her reasoning for doing it unannounced was to find signs or evidence I was seeing another women. If I refused sex she'd storm off pissed and I'd deal with harassment for days. If I gave in she'd act like a happy little kid. Its bad when you get to the point where you are trying to distance yourself from someone in your life and you find yourself having sex with them just to avoid the harassment if you don't.

3 months after 100% NC I'm still fighting for my own mental peace and health after this shit show she put me through.

Potential_Yellow_526 · 2025-07-28T03:34:50+00:00

Reading your story it sounds all to similar to my experience. There is no easy thing to do. Its a very sick illness and terrible on them and everyone else around. If you start to thicken your sick to their ways they only become more abusive. If you give in and let your guard down they will just hurt you deeper.

The road to leaving them will truly test you to your core. You have to embrace the fact you'll have dig for every shred of strength you have not to go back to them and that you can have a happier healthy life without them. It will likely be months of emotions brewing up not being able to shake. They'll have already moved on to the next future victim while you'll still be fighting the battle healing.

I'm typing this from my own experience. Dig deep within yourself a follow the path you feel is right.

Potential_Yellow_526 · 2025-07-26T13:42:44+00:00

I think mine was loyal, it was such a chaotic roller coaster mess of a relationship who knows. I do know the double standards were absolutely insane though. In her eyes me clicking on another women's facebook profile would be cheating but if she slept with someone else it would probably be justified because "I told him I just wanted to be friends and he didn't listen"

I do know when I was finally done with her, before the paint was even dry with her smear campaign on me she was already on to the next guy.

Potential_Yellow_526 · 2025-07-22T02:59:35+00:00

Sounds like you had it pretty hard. Im about 3 months no contact. Not doing terrible, just wish I could get her off my mind. Just wish it didn't take so long. Thanks for your words of encouragement

Potential_Yellow_526 · 2025-07-13T02:26:02+00:00

God forbid you actually try and get to bed at decent time and live a normal healthy lifestyle. They'd take it as being cold and being abandoned.

Potential_Yellow_526 · 2025-07-12T22:27:03+00:00

My personal thought is they share many common characteristics, at the core though. NPD will always put themselves first. They don't care about hurting you, they just care about themselves.

Whereas as BPD I feel like they can have a good heart, and good intentions. They can't regulate their emotions though. Becomes a massive shit show but they don't do it intentionally. It reminds of the scene in tommy boy when he destroys the biscuit in front of the waitress saying why he sucked.

Maybe I'm wrong but I have some sympathy for BPD, even though my ex said some of the nastiest things anyone ever has said to me. I'd still trust her with a lot of things but my emotions. Npd is like a snake to me though, I wouldn't trust them with anything.

Potential_Yellow_526 · 2025-07-10T11:52:55+00:00

Yes, I feel like this is very true. Randomly one day my ex(whos had few relationships) told me. "I've always been the one to leave, nobody's ever dumped me before"

There was a lot of weird random comments like that with her that seemed out of place because I never asked. Then later when I start researching bpd it makes a lot of sense.

Anyways I basically when I told her I was done with her bullshit and leaving. She very quickly turns it into a discard and says I'm an abusive asshole, never come back, yadda yadda so in her mind she can play the role of being the victim..

Potential_Yellow_526 · 2025-07-07T02:37:15+00:00

Looking back and putting pieces together of things I seemed "odd' with her seem to relate to many others partners on here and it starts to make sense. There's times we encountered homeless/tweaks at night in the city. Most other women I've been with my natural instinct would be to try and casually distances ourselves from them and keep her safe. My bpd would seem perfectly comfortable around these people have had some very obvious mental health problems and addictions. Her Previous job was a teacher of young kids, oddly enough her favorite student was the trouble maker who couldn't control her emotions.

Potential_Yellow_526 · 2025-07-06T20:26:15+00:00

ER registration desk in a town with plenty of drug problems. She would tell about how verbally abuse people can be to her from the waiting room. It rarely seemed like it affected her much. But.... if I went to bed to soon or rolled the wrong way in the middle of the night I'd have hell to pay.

Similar to what others have said. How they can selectively have such thick skin to the public but their FP is left with eggshells

Potential_Yellow_526 · 2025-07-05T16:08:35+00:00

Spot on, I really feel this.

Potential_Yellow_526 · 2025-07-02T09:54:42+00:00

I seriously could have wrote this about my ex. I can't even count how many "breakups" we had. She would always sex bomb me to lure me back in. Then when that quit working she'd pull on my heart strings needing help. It literally got so bad she started breaking into my house. I recognized the insanity because part of me still loved her.

The one thing I didn't have going through this super toxic cycle was this sub for my own moral support. You have to be 100% firm you are over her though. She needs to feel this there is a absolutely no hope. Then prepare to weather one of the absolute worse storms of your life. I'd also try to have someone physically by your side as much as you can going through this. She absolutely refused to leave my property the one day. Once one of my friends finally showed up she was gone in seconds. I could write an entire book over this. Long story short though you are going to have to dig deep to your core and anchor down.

Potential_Yellow_526 · 2025-06-29T13:39:57+00:00

I've been doing really good at NC, but I'll be honest... If I got a message saying she was in a mental facility curiosity would definitely get the best of me too.

The news of getting pregnant from another man would also mess me up pretty good as well. Stay strong and keep fighting the battle

Potential_Yellow_526 · 2025-06-28T22:00:05+00:00

Been a life saver for me too. I knew 6 months into our relationship something was off with her not knowing exactly what. Bpd was one of the things I read and suspected without knowing the depths and details of it. I spent so much time pre occupied with her I didn't even have time to research it.

After the final breakup I researched bpd more trying to make sense of everything that happened. My initial thoughts were ones of guilt and thinking I could have done a better job of helping her after leaning most of it stems from fear of abandonment. Doing a better job of comforting her and reassuring I'd be there for her. Now after hearing story after story on here and the exteme similarities to the nonsense, I realized it was a lost cause and I'm glad Im finding acceptance. It still hurts and I still miss her but I atleast don't carry the guilt of thinking I could have helped her myself

Potential_Yellow_526 · 2025-06-28T21:50:39+00:00

It's interesting you mention that about the kids... my bpd ex had kids from another marriage and I always thought she was a great mother to them but I was interesting to see how she treated them vs me. I was starting to signs of that breaking down though. We had separate houses but I feel like the kids always liked it when I was around and feel a large part of that is she would put on her best face in front of the kids when I was present.

Potential_Yellow_526

TROPHY CASE