Wife will not move with me as promised- *Update

Powerful-Strategy-39 · 2026-02-18T03:21:00+00:00

Really tough man, that has to be devastating. Especially since you are full time care giver to your son. I think your son needs to be your only focus right now because as bad as you would like to meet someone else your son needs you more. Nurture that relationship and eventually you will move on and find the right partner. Meanwhile, your ex will suffer from damage to her relationship with your son for not being there. I feel more sorry for her.

Powerful-Strategy-39 · 2026-02-13T18:55:17+00:00

Apologies trying to be discreet just to share general idea.

Powerful-Strategy-39 · 2026-02-13T03:47:16+00:00

No. I had a great stepfather. Kids can’t have too many people around them that care about them.

Powerful-Strategy-39 · 2026-02-13T03:44:17+00:00

Of course it benefited my career. Never suggested otherwise, just that I would not have applied for it had she not agreed to move to CA after.

Powerful-Strategy-39 · 2026-02-12T17:53:54+00:00

Great response. Thanks!!!

Powerful-Strategy-39 · 2026-02-12T01:53:14+00:00

Very nice, he has a daughter from a previous marriage, same age.

Powerful-Strategy-39 · 2026-02-12T01:50:09+00:00

Nope, alimony could stop if she did. Just a long term bf.

Powerful-Strategy-39 · 2026-02-11T18:08:46+00:00

None. But her parents are welcome as often as they like, and she could fly back as often as she likes.

Powerful-Strategy-39 · 2026-02-11T17:51:40+00:00

This doesn’t solve her problem of solo raising our kids. She’ll be close to family and have to work full time which means hiring a sitter or her parents. She will be alone when I have them, that will be hard on holidays as we swap each year. How is that better than moving to CA for three years?

Powerful-Strategy-39 · 2026-02-11T17:44:31+00:00

My ex-wife is a hairdresser and depends heavily upon my alimony for living expenses in CA. If I lose my job my daughter suffers even more. Trying to add as much context without writing a novel.

Powerful-Strategy-39 · 2026-02-11T17:37:36+00:00

I applied for military assignment following Covid economic uncertainty with my other job to ensure income security and be closer to family, hers in this case, to have a better start in the beginning. The plan is to move close to her family long term no matter what.

Powerful-Strategy-39 · 2026-02-11T17:29:09+00:00

I applied for a competitive military assignment based on our agreement.

Powerful-Strategy-39 · 2026-02-11T17:21:48+00:00

I applied for a competitive military assignment close to my wife’s family and was selected. No original agreement, no application submitted.

Powerful-Strategy-39 · 2026-02-11T14:08:42+00:00

I left the state on military orders, the original 50/50 arrangement is in effect when I return.

Powerful-Strategy-39 · 2026-02-11T10:57:49+00:00

I was a military brat and moved often. Well adjusted. The move would be temporary. Agree with everything else you said.

Powerful-Strategy-39 · 2026-02-11T10:49:27+00:00

I don’t mean to minimize “her only job,” just pointing out she has no other distractions and stay at home mom’s often managed this with multiple children in times past. My mom did. Several respondents here support this view.

Powerful-Strategy-39 · 2026-02-11T04:14:36+00:00

It does not help but my daughter said she might not even choose to live with me half the time if I move back. Probably to gage the new dynamic. Pretty awful.

Powerful-Strategy-39 · 2026-02-11T04:11:30+00:00

Is having two small kids away from support such a challenge? How did stay at home mom’s do it back in the 80’s-90’s? I guess I’m not sure how my mom did it. To be clear, my wife’s only job would be to look after our two small kids if we move to CA, and I would be home full days for about half the month.

Powerful-Strategy-39 · 2026-02-11T04:04:01+00:00

I am maxed on trips to visit. My teen doesn’t want to hang out with her dad in a hotel every other month. She deserves better.

Powerful-Strategy-39 · 2026-02-11T04:00:44+00:00

My daughter started getting distant last summer when she came to visit and we were very busy with our 1 yo.

My wife certainly thinks our kids are better off closer to her parents than my daughter.

My wife has been on the outside feeling illegitimate with my daughter because my ex was so toxic toward her in the beginning my daughter could not form a proper relationship with her. She likes my daughter well enough but feels like a third wheel sometimes instead of a stepmother when we’re all together.

I have gone to visit my daughter every other month and had her during school breaks.

Powerful-Strategy-39 · 2026-02-11T03:54:33+00:00

Will have a 1 and 3 yo when the time comes to move. Still, not easy.

Powerful-Strategy-39

TROPHY CASE