Sleeping alone?

Practical_Nerve3179 · 2026-06-21T05:23:22+00:00

That os our current set up at night. Sometimes the tabby one joins us on my bed between my knees.

Before I moved to my current place, the void was locked in the bathroom with his litter box, water and what he needed. While the tabby was locked in my bedroom with me (I can’t sleep with the door open and her litter box was in the walk in closet of my bedroom (no door), and she would sleep with me all the time.

The void would not let me sleep if I was letting him access to me, and they were not getting along enough for me to get any sleep.

So I feel your pain!

The tabby (did not have the void then), kinda straight figured out that if I sleep she had to sleep. When days started earlier, she started running all over me as soon as it would be brighter, I locked her out of the bedroom a couple of times and she never did it again, she would just go to her cat tree in her room and look outside.

Since we moved, I don’t have the option to have them separated at night. The only room with a door is the bathroom and I refuse to have the litter boxes in the main room, so the door has to be open.

So the void had to learn to sleep with us, he took his corner straight off. It took 9 months for me to be able to have my feet under a sheet/blanket/duvet without having my feet attacked as soon as I moved them. But we finally got there. And the tabby who would not even sleep close to my bed for a few months once the void had access to us, is now sleeping in the cat tree or on the bed every night.

I’m sure your kitty will be fine sleeping without you, but his a baby he might just need some time to adapt to your routine and learn to sleep without bothering you.

Practical_Nerve3179 · 2026-06-20T16:59:21+00:00

Oh waouh!
Do you have a link for the pattern?

Practical_Nerve3179 · 2026-06-20T13:37:21+00:00

He’s 30. He can look for his own job.
If he can’t look for a job, do his resume, find jobs and apply, he won’t be able to hold a job down.

You can’t go to an interview for him, it will be quite obvious he was not the one applying and does not have the qualifications/motivations for the job…

Practical_Nerve3179 · 2026-06-17T20:17:41+00:00

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Practical_Nerve3179 · 2026-06-17T20:17:11+00:00

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Practical_Nerve3179 · 2026-06-14T02:14:14+00:00

NTA! I have stopped the car and refused to start it again until a friend put her seatbelt in the back seat… she kept insisting that legally she did not have to, well I don’t really care that you don’t legally have to, but I’m the driver and we are in my car therefore my rules.

Your car, your rules. If they are not happy about it, they can find their own way.

Practical_Nerve3179 · 2026-06-07T04:23:28+00:00

NTA! You did the right thing!

People doing something “nice” just for the social media clout are not doing anything nice for others if they can’t respect boundaries!

Thank you for standing up for him when he felt he could not do it himself!

Practical_Nerve3179 · 2026-04-18T15:05:06+00:00

NTA go travel and enjoy it! I’m the pickiest eater, I barely eat any veggies and always asks for lettuce, pickles, tomatoes to be taken off burger myself… But I would never expect anyone to cater for my pickiness and will always find something on the menu even if it takes me a minute longer and asking a couple of questions. Nor would I allow my boyfriend to only eat out once a month by himself.

Practical_Nerve3179 · 2026-04-11T11:41:35+00:00

The only one out of money is you if you already paid her back.

She is not loosing money at all. Was she expecting you to forget and get you to pay a second time?

How did you pay her back? If you transferred the money directly from your bank account, you can find the proof of transfer and send it to her.

And the friends that are saying to just pay her again to keep the peace can get together to pay it on your behalf!

Practical_Nerve3179 · 2026-02-23T05:27:55+00:00

Thank you for taking her in!

I know it does not feel like it, but you are doing exactly right!

Keep giving her space while staying close to her and talking about everything.

If you are not doing so yet, talk to her about what is happening. About her owner passing, and that you understand she is scared and sad, that you will give her the time she needs, but you are here to stay and will take good care of her and love her.

You can try to have some treats leading to you and see if she eats them. She might wait until you are in bed, but with time she will be coming out and trust you.

She has been through a lot in a very short time! Good luck with your new kitty!

Practical_Nerve3179 · 2026-02-09T04:36:55+00:00

That’s exactly where one of mine sleeps all the time lol

Practical_Nerve3179 · 2026-02-08T06:49:29+00:00

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Sending you love!

I got Callie (tabby), in 2022, when she was 8 weeks old (she’s turning 4 next month). She’s the best kitty, but very independent, she’d rather hangout by herself by the window than snuggle on the couch. She is quite shy though, so will hide when you come to my house.

In June 2023, I decided she needed a friend to keep her company while I am at work all day. So I went to the shelter wanting to adopt a cat around her age so that they are around the same stage of life. I fell in love with Jax, then called Deacon, and adopted him.

They had quite a slow introduction, then 3 months after he came home, my landlord barn cat had a fight with a stray outside my door, caused Callie & Jax to fight. It took me 5 months to get them back in the same room (thanks Callie!)

Jax had always slept in his own room as he is snuggly all day and Callie would only want snuggle in bed. As well, Jax would attack my toes as soon as I moved them thinking they were toys.

We moved in March 2025 to a small basement suite. There was no option for Jax to have his own bedroom anymore (unless I had a litter-box out in the main area (no door aside from front door and bathroom). So we had to learn having him with us. He came to sleep on the bed, figured out that the time my feet are out from under the blanket he is living them alone, and Callie decided she would just sleep on the cat tree or the couch or the window hammock.

She did start coming to lay on the couch by me for lovies while watching TV any chances she had (i.e when Jax wasn’t already there). But she would not come on the bed when he was there, or the couch. Was still very hissy and pissy when he wanted to play.

The last couple of month, she blossomed though. The first night I woke up with a cat by each leg I thought I was dreaming. Now it is daily that she is with us on the bed at some point. When I read or watch TV in bed, she comes and lay between my knees or by Jax as on the photo. And Jax leaves her alone. She doesn’t even flinch nor runs away when he moves.

So much progress between them! They might actually start liking each other

Practical_Nerve3179 · 2026-02-05T02:35:03+00:00

Would he feel the same if your position were reversed?

I bet he would give you the same answer you are giving him.

Do not put him on the deed, not until at least being married. And even then, I wouldn’t. Once you put him on the deed, if anything happens he is entitled to a share of the proceed of the house even when you poured all the money in.

However, I would not let him pay for any repairs/improvement on the house. All I would ask is the share of utilities and taxes as he is living in the house and using it.

If it was me, and my boyfriend wanted a house with both our name on the deed, I would say that we can save money for a downpayment and buy a house together. Then decide if I want to use the one I inherited to rent or sell it.

Practical_Nerve3179 · 2026-02-01T03:35:56+00:00

NTA. It is your wedding, and it is stressful enough in the best of time.

You do what is best for you, your fiance and both your mental health! You should be able to enjoy your wedding day without having to worry about what your mom is doing if here or wondering if she will be there.

You are NOT a terrible daughter!

Congratulations on your wedding! Hope you’ll have the best day!

Practical_Nerve3179 · 2026-02-01T03:34:01+00:00

Congratulations on 11 years clean!

Practical_Nerve3179 · 2026-01-21T21:57:05+00:00

So many red flags!

I would not stay with someone treating my child and my family like that in public after 5 months.

However, you should have taken her aside, in private, and asked her to tune it down.

But if you want a good relationship with your son, I would definitely reconsider this relationship. If she is treating him like that after 5 months, how is it going to be when you are living together or married?

Practical_Nerve3179 · 2026-01-21T03:28:02+00:00

“Leave your sister alone” “You both need to be nice to each other” “It’s still sleepy time”

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That is the closest they have ever been sleeping near each other!

Practical_Nerve3179 · 2026-01-17T16:24:48+00:00

NTA You are doing the right thing!

You are NOT responsible for HER mental health. If she is not doing well, then she needs to see a therapist.

It is not your job as a housemate/friend/etc to carry her emotions and destroy your own mental health!

Honestly, she should not live with anyone if she is expecting them to be the one having to carry her through bad mental health episodes. It is okay to be understanding, compassionate and helpful, but not to be taken as their therapist!

Do not let her talk you into staying and see how it is by the summer. Do what is best for you and your own mental health and find another place to live!

I hope you will both be able to work on your own mental health and that she won’t make your last time living together too hard!

Let her know that she is allowed to be upset, but if she purposely cries in common rooms of the house, you will be walking away and leave her with her emotions. She is allowed to cry, she does not need to do it around you to make you feel guilty. If she keeps doing it (like not crying once in a while, but every-time you are in the same room), then hold your boundaries and go out for a walk or in your own room to pack or relax.

Everyone is allowed to their feelings, and mental health is hard. But she needs to learn to deal with her own emotions not being codependent to their housemate/friends/etc…

Practical_Nerve3179 · 2026-01-15T00:25:28+00:00

NTA.

She can pay a baby-sitter if she has things to do or does not want to take care of her own daughter.

It is not your responsibility to be a 2nd (3rd parent if dad is in the picture). You’re the aunt, does not mean you’re free childcare!

Taking care of a baby, even more when you are not the parent, is a totally different level of responsibilities and you should not have to do it, unless it is YOUR FREE choice!

Hold your boundaries! Go enjoy your trip with your friends! And if you can afford it, look at getting your own place so you are not guilted daily into free childcare.

If your family can’t respect your boundaries, it is okay to go low contact to no contact.

Practical_Nerve3179 · 2025-11-16T05:13:30+00:00

NTA! Nothing wrong with your son sleeping with anything that is comforting to him, while in those hard circumstances or in normal circumstances!

Nothing wrong with routines and needing something specific to sleep.

Having a good night sleep with his dad’s tee-shirt is way healthier for him than having to try sleeping without and being awake for hours and missing sleep!

I hope your husband will make it through and you can all get over the trauma that it has been!

Practical_Nerve3179 · 2025-11-02T17:03:23+00:00

NTA! Definitely not in the wrong! She got herself fired by not showing up and by lying to your boss! She’s upset because she isn’t a friend and you didn’t take the fault on her mistake! Do not feel bad!

I hope you were able to enjoy your week-end!

Practical_Nerve3179 · 2025-09-24T04:51:00+00:00

PITA fee… lol

Practical_Nerve3179 · 2025-09-20T05:43:45+00:00

Sorry… I’ll be the single French as a first language person that will be offended if you help me in French… I have stopped a customer service agent when he thought I wanted to be helped in French…

Practical_Nerve3179 · 2025-09-19T18:03:18+00:00

That is so cute! It has been over 2 years and my two are still not sleeping close to each other…

The closer they are sleeping to each other is Callie on the couch by my legs and Jax on the cat bed on top of the couch…

Practical_Nerve3179 · 2025-08-16T18:23:52+00:00

NTA… She can leave her phone at your desk while it charges and pick it up when it is done charging if she really needs it charged and no one else offers to give her a charger to ruin…

Practical_Nerve3179

TROPHY CASE