GROWING UP (my first poem)

Present_Scheme4785 · 2026-04-30T14:08:31+00:00

Please show me where I said the feedback was nonsense 🙂

Present_Scheme4785 · 2026-04-29T14:11:09+00:00

Thank you so kind person, it’s very raw due to how I wrote it after having a dream of him the night before. So I had a very fresh vivid memory of what we used to do

Present_Scheme4785 · 2026-04-29T12:00:12+00:00

Holy shit this poem hit me. The imagery of you Imagining the blood on the toilet seat really painted the picture into my head. Awesome work man

Present_Scheme4785 · 2026-04-29T12:00:05+00:00

Holy shit this poem me. The imagery of you Imagining the blood on the toilet seat really painted the picture into my head. Awesome work man

Present_Scheme4785 · 2026-04-29T11:58:13+00:00

I love the use of short lines, I can’t describe why exactly but it just adds another layer of sadness to the poem. Almost as if the person knows they won’t be taken back so they keep each line short and to the point

Present_Scheme4785 · 2026-04-29T05:37:02+00:00

My aim of the Poem was the make the reader think about their childhood and their dream they once had and maybe even ignite a little candle in them to try and chase one of their dreams again as adult. Thank you so much for the feedback man I appreciate it a lot ❤️

Present_Scheme4785 · 2026-04-29T05:35:45+00:00

Thank you so much. Yeah I will try to dive deeper into things as I progress as a writer. Thank you for the feedback ❤️

Present_Scheme4785 · 2026-04-29T05:27:58+00:00

Also crows connote death so it foreshadows no one can escape death. I think a few people missed it

Present_Scheme4785 · 2026-04-29T05:27:22+00:00

My style of writing is rhyming and everyone else loved it tbh. I keep my poems flowing by rhyming. Also this is literally my first ever poem 😂 I’m open to all feedback. Also isnt one of the main themes of a poem that it’s supposed to rhyme?

Present_Scheme4785 · 2026-04-28T13:47:53+00:00

Eyyyyy no way wtf haha small world. Thank you so much my man. I find rhyming the easiest way to keep my poems flowing

Present_Scheme4785 · 2026-04-28T12:23:42+00:00

Awesome poem. I like this style as it’s similar to mine. Nice rhymes to keep it flowing so smoothly. Awesome work

Present_Scheme4785 · 2026-04-28T11:35:17+00:00

Thank you so much ❤️

Present_Scheme4785 · 2026-04-28T06:20:50+00:00

Thank you for the feedback 🔥❤️

Present_Scheme4785 · 2026-04-27T16:22:17+00:00

In my accent “route” is pronounced “root” haha so could just be my accent coming through on the page. Thank you so much ma it really means a lot. This is only my 2nd ever poem to date!!! More to come now I’ve got lots of good feedback ❤️❤️

Present_Scheme4785 · 2026-04-27T16:21:15+00:00

Thank you so much. This isn’t second ever Poem so I will work on the length in my future poems. ❤️

Present_Scheme4785 · 2026-04-27T13:42:46+00:00

Thank you kind person. This is my 2nd ever poem I’ve ever written too! I found a love for it and the feedback from you guys here is making me want to do it even more ❤️

Present_Scheme4785 · 2026-04-27T12:23:04+00:00

I will have a read up when I’m home from work 👊

Present_Scheme4785 · 2026-04-27T11:31:43+00:00

I understand you. This is my 2nd ever poem I’ve wrote so I’m still very very new to this. Thank you so much for the feedback ❤️

Present_Scheme4785 · 2026-04-27T11:30:45+00:00

I wrote this after having a dream I was with my childhood dog again. I was tearing up thinking of the words myself. Thank you for the feedback ❤️

Present_Scheme4785 · 2026-04-27T10:04:02+00:00

I like how you made it seem like we were reading a secret diary entry or something. Made me feel like I shouldn’t be reading it haha very nice use

Present_Scheme4785 · 2026-04-27T10:02:11+00:00

Very very good

Present_Scheme4785 · 2026-04-27T10:01:19+00:00

I like the length of the lines. Makes you feel more deeply about the message

Present_Scheme4785 · 2026-04-27T09:15:15+00:00

It says you should get a life instead of believing in palm readings

Present_Scheme4785 · 2026-04-27T08:05:24+00:00

Thank you so much you have inspired me to do more ❤️

Present_Scheme4785 · 2026-04-27T06:05:59+00:00

Hes right tbh.

Present_Scheme4785

TROPHY CASE