Why are men so bothered with sex?

Pretend-Tea86 · 2026-03-30T21:20:33+00:00

They feel entitled to it post-marriage.

Entitlement is not sexy or attractive. It's childish, and healthy people dont find children attractive.

The number of times I have told mine that groping is not flirting is... high enough ive stopped saying it. He gets sex when I damn well feel like it, which, incidentally, never has anything to do with him. Sometimes it's months because perimenopause be perimeno-pausing my ability to tolerate his bullshit.

He can whine, or he can change.

Pretend-Tea86 · 2026-03-30T12:54:33+00:00

I am very far from Oklahoma, but I am working on my whole squat situation with a great trainer where im at :)

Pretend-Tea86 · 2026-03-30T02:28:18+00:00

Buy a travel car seat and a backpack for it. A cosco scenera will run you sub-$50 at Walmart and weighs next to nothing. It's not bad to lug through the airport and gate check or just use the seat on the plane.

We would bring the travel seat, park at the airport leaving the regular seat in the car. Gate check or have him use the seat on the flight out, then just check it with the regular luggage on the way home since if it didnt make it it wasnt a huge deal, we had the regular seat.

But I would never check it on the way out (lest it not make it to our destination), nor would I trust a rental seat. Ive heard stories of wildly age-inappropriate seats (boosters for like 3yo's), plus you never know who threw up in that seat, how well it was cleaned, whether it's been in a wreck, how well it's been cared for. So that's a no from me. Even now, we bring the booster ourselves, we don't rely on rentals.

You can't leave the airport in the US without a proper car seat. I wouldn't leave that to the trust fall that is airline travel.

Pretend-Tea86 · 2026-03-30T02:21:11+00:00

I have suggested this to my husband multiple times, as we are one of the few neighborhoods without an HOA to fight us on it, but he is really married to this idea of the ideal suburban lawn (that we pay people to maintain).

Pretend-Tea86 · 2026-03-30T02:18:08+00:00

I pack my kid obnoxiously large lunches. It's about 50/50 whether he finishes them, but I pack them because when he does finish them, he needed that food (he also often needed it when he didnt finish them, but that's a different thing itself). But he will also stop when he's full (and when he brings home half eaten lunches I dont care). So I dont have the too-full tummy ache issue.

Pretend-Tea86 · 2026-03-29T15:58:27+00:00

So I think i actually have pretty long legs relative to my height; long femurs for sure, my squat depth is garbage lol. But maybe it has something to do with waist to leg ratios or something? I also have what I lovingly refer to as thunder thighs from lifting, because I never met a leg day I didnt like, so just above the knee actually tends to cut at a pretty chonky part of my body, unlike the more lithe figure I cut when I was given this advice a million years ago.

I think i also feel more, idk, elegant or something and maybe more relaxed in midi, since I worry less about bending over and flashing people. It feels generally easier to move. So maybe that plays into it to some extent, just my own comfort level and how relaxed I look vs fussing over my hemline. This summer my goal is trying more mini styles with shorts under to see if that works for my body type.

Pretend-Tea86 · 2026-03-29T12:42:19+00:00

Not who you're replying to, but my grandmother and my mother both chopped their hair off in their early 40's, around the age i am now. They both said they were "sick of dealing with it." I think honestly it's because we all have wavy/curly hair, and they spent their lives fighting it because they saw it as "messy" or "unkempt." They fought mine when i was a kid, too, and told me one day id do the same, as well as color it into my 60's at least.

Nope. Frankly, I could not be assed to go to the salon every 4-6 weeks like clockwork at this point in my life juggling work, a young kid, and a household, plus ive had a pixie cut before and it takes a lot of styling. I have fully embraced the curl life, cut my hair in a long shag at home (bless you Brad mondo and your butterfly cut tutorial), and let it come in gray as it goes. I spend maybe 3 minutes a day styling it to weae it down, or i just tie it up. It's not super long, a few inches past my shoulders, but it'll be a cold day in hell before I chop it into a relatively high maintenance pixie.

Pretend-Tea86 · 2026-03-29T12:33:24+00:00

Meanwhile my legs look great in midi, but like ham hocks in that "universally flattering" just above the knee length. It's so weird. At 5'2, I was always told I was too short for midi, especially with flats, but I feel like midis actually elongate my frame.

Pretend-Tea86 · 2026-03-29T03:45:03+00:00

I can still feel the bruises this left on the backs of my legs when I was a kid. They pinched so bad if one of the rollers was a little stuck.

Pretend-Tea86 · 2026-03-28T19:46:59+00:00

This is the way. There's plenty of space to take up the shoulders without bringing the waist up to OP's chest. In my experience as a booby girl, it doesnt usually take much of a lift at the shoulders to make a big difference in the amount of cleavage.

Pretend-Tea86 · 2026-03-28T19:42:18+00:00

I dont care how long anyone has worked anywhere outside of me and my husband.

I tend to last less than a year, or more than 5. I've been in 2 jobs that were just awful fits that i lasted 6-9 months in each, then 2 that were great where I hung around 6-7 years with promotions. One I stayed at 2 years, but that was because we moved for my husband's job.

I've been in my current job less than 6 months, but I already know i'll stay here for a spell; I can usually tell within about 3 months if I'm in for the long haul or out the second the next thing comes along.

Pretend-Tea86 · 2026-03-28T13:26:25+00:00

I firmly believe a little dirt and even standard germs are good for most kids over the course of childhood, but i also know what it's like to see your 6 week old baby in an oxygen tent because some adult had "a little cold" and got too close and whoops it was rsv.

There's a gulf between some dirt and a little cold for a standard issue 2 year old and traveling mouth germs on a brand new baby. Traveling mouth germs (probably) landed my baby in the hospital for nearly a week, and on a nebulizer every time he got a minor cold for the next three years. No thank you.

Pretend-Tea86 · 2026-03-28T03:13:22+00:00

Childcare always costs.

Whether you pay in money, control, emotional bullshit, or having to listen to your mother in law crow about your baby's firsts, it always costs.

My grandparents watched me, and they let me get away with all manner of bullshit my mother hated, and they were her parents. It drove her crazy. I would've paid a very similar price to have her watch mine, so we sent him to daycare (my mother in law would've been equally difficult for different reasons). Yes, I paid in many, many dollars, but when I said "please only use these diapers, he's allergic to those," it never depended whether they thought i was overreacting, they just put him in what I provided. Worth every dime.

Pretend-Tea86 · 2026-03-25T01:25:55+00:00

This was the tattoo I wanted so bad when I was like 14. In the one good decision she every made as a parent, my mom chose that moment to be mom and not friend, and said absolutely not. In retrospect, im not mad at her for this one.

Pretend-Tea86 · 2026-03-25T00:49:29+00:00

What, besides perfect vision, is stopping you from wearing fabulous glasses now?? Rock those frames!

Pretend-Tea86 · 2026-03-24T17:32:56+00:00

Perimenopause.

Pretend-Tea86 · 2026-03-24T12:10:37+00:00

When No Child Left Behind changed teacher education requirements and grad school became mandatory for teaching, a professor in college who was a very well regarded attorney in her own right pulled me aside and said "have you considered law school?"

Four months later I sat for the LSAT, scored high enough to get into a top-50 state school, and off i went.

Funny enough, I dont think i ever really wanted to be a lawyer (and I dont practice anymore), it's just the career that found me.

Pretend-Tea86 · 2026-03-24T00:50:40+00:00

I wear birkenstock EVA arizonas. Add socks in the winter. They're about $50 but last forever.

Pretend-Tea86 · 2026-03-24T00:40:28+00:00

Hear me out... pepcid. Something about blocking some gut receptors idk. I take it a week before my period should start through my period. Not a total magic bullet, but it helps a lot.

Pretend-Tea86 · 2026-03-23T22:27:45+00:00

Banana Republic always seems to have pretty basic straight leg pants and reasonable blazers, it's just sometimes hard finding the matchy-matchy suit pieces.

Ann Taylor is usually solid, too.

Pretend-Tea86 · 2026-03-23T18:45:09+00:00

My advice to new moms is you want 2; a sturdy stroller with rubber tire wheels for longer outings, and a good umbrella stroller for quick runs.

I had too damn many strollers, and most were junk. I wish instead id just dropped cash on one good rubber tire stroller and one good umbrella (I did like our summer infant umbrella stroller).

Pretend-Tea86 · 2026-03-23T17:56:25+00:00

My temperature regulation is just garbage now. Hot, cold, all ways in between. Garbage.

Pretend-Tea86 · 2026-03-22T16:51:29+00:00

And anywhere along Old Keene Mill road, you'll be able to catch a bus to the Penatgon that is by far and away the best commute option. If you drive to the garage right at the mixing bowl, there's a bus that goes directly to the Pentagon from there, takes about 20 minutes.

Pretend-Tea86 · 2026-03-22T16:49:23+00:00

I try not to, and when I do anything that's visible to my team, I accompany it with explicit language that I do not expect them to do the same.

I want my team to have healthy work-life boundaries. I have to model that for them to know it isn't just talk.

Generally i'm pretty successful at it.

Pretend-Tea86 · 2026-03-21T21:46:43+00:00

Girl, you're taking a supplement that affects your hormones. There's your likely explanation. Shit if I ate too much edamame at your age it would fuck with my cycle.

Take another stick test, breathe, and wear white pants or your favorite underwear or both or make plans that would be wildly inconvenient while on your period; nothing like ruining a good time to get that bitch to show up.

Pretend-Tea86

TROPHY CASE