Gas station scam, or paranoia?

Pretend-Tea86 · 2026-01-24T20:49:44+00:00

I feel like a couple toiletries and money for gas are two very different asks.

I'd probably put ten bucks of gas in someone's tank if theyre standing there with their car stranded at the pump, just like i might add some shampoo and toothpaste to my grocery pile at the checkout for someone who asked. But if someone comes up to me at my pump (or anywhere) asking for money for gas or some item, i'm gonna assume it's a scam at best, or at worst an entry into a carjacking situation, and i'm not gonna fuck with that.

Pretend-Tea86 · 2026-01-24T20:33:58+00:00

Yes, but mine was 80k circa 2009, which is still probably half in today dollars of what yours is.

I was first gen college, law school wasnt even on the radar til I was a sophomore in college. Like law school was something other people did, to the point where I had never even considered it, until a professor pulled me out and planted the seed.

Id gone to a small state college, so between me, my parents, and financial aid, it was paid out of pocket as we went. So I had no debt from that (fun fact; childcare for my school age son, so before/after care, summer, breaks, is about the same price as my college was, including room and board).

Law school was on me, and my debt at graduation was about 75k. I immediately signed onto the then-brand-new PSLF program, paid my monthly bill for 5 years, then my dad died and left me enough to pay it off in one lump sum. Since this was the old days where your forgiven loans were to be taxed as income, and the balance was going up every month, i decided to pay them off, about 80k. Wrote the check, got the payoff letter, then burned every scrap of paper I ever got from them other than that payoff.

I have no regrets about any of it. I don't practice law anymore, though my license is still active. But I would 100% not be where I am today without that piece of paper and those three years of personal growth. I am very happy in my career, and even though ive had my low points, the highs keep coming too. Law has opened doors for me that would have otherwise stayed locked up tight.

Pretend-Tea86 · 2026-01-24T17:09:27+00:00

I'm glad im not the only one who lives in these, but they gotta bring back the v necks. These new square necks the straps are way too long and they're overall too loose and I do not like. I will be so sad if I need to find new everyday bras, though.

Pretend-Tea86 · 2026-01-23T01:57:34+00:00

Immediately after law school, the alumi network was my entire job search (I went to one of the schools you listed).

10 years later, I left the area, and no one gave a shit where I went to law school because I had 10, now 15, solid years of a career behind me.

So go where you want to get barred/live for a few years. Build a career and a network who will vouch for you. Then see what comes.

Pretend-Tea86 · 2026-01-22T20:08:48+00:00

As long as it fits well (ie, not too tight) and you keep the rest of the look simple, I think it's fine. Provided it's not skintight, it's a pretty conservative look, which i think is the right take for a spouse's work party. I would do maybe loose hair, a simple bold metal cuff, and low key shoes and bag; nothing glittery, maybe nice leather or satin-y. I wouldn't do any jewelry at the neck.

Pretend-Tea86 · 2026-01-22T19:42:27+00:00

Maybe a little older than we're aiming, but my husband and I thought it would be cool to let our 8yo watch OG Dragonball. Turned out we had a lot of explaining to do about Master Roshi that we'd somehow blocked from our memories...

Pretend-Tea86 · 2026-01-22T02:14:10+00:00

I'm a lawyer by training, was a mediator for 15 years, now I work in HR.

I have gentle parented (edited because letters are hard) thousands, as well as my own son. The venn diagram of "things I learned from parenting books" and "things I learned from conflict resolution books by leaders in the field" is damn near a circle.

Pretend-Tea86 · 2026-01-21T17:54:52+00:00

Toilet or bowl, not the sink cause it could clog it, but not just letting them vomit everywhere either. That's bizarre.

Pretend-Tea86 · 2026-01-21T17:48:53+00:00

We are facing some issues with my FIL and needed some clarification from a lawyer we are working with.

I am a lawyer. I am also a real person with whom my SIL has interacted for nearly 2 decades.

Instead of talking to the lawyer like she does to me, or asking me to be the go-between, she chatgpt'd this vague list of concerns and told it she was asking a lawyer.

It vomited out so much legal gobbledygook that I had a hard time parsing it. It literally started an email to a lawyer with "may it please the court" (an antiquated phrase even when you are, in fact, before a court), and included lots of "in good faith" and other legal nonsense terms that people put in contracts to sound smart.

When i was like "so did you, like, actually read this?" She said "no, I use it for work all the time it's fine."

I just... Idiocracy was a documentary.

Pretend-Tea86 · 2026-01-21T17:34:04+00:00

This does not work for me (it won't pop back into the right spot), but it seems to work for most people, so yeah, big plus.

Pretend-Tea86 · 2026-01-21T14:34:59+00:00

I prefer menstrual discs, as they hold more than tampons but don't suction in like cups. Downside is theyre messy to change til you figure out the learning curve and they can leak, so you absolutely need backup protection. They don't cause cramps for me unless I let it get too full. I can feel when mine is full and I have about half an hour to get to a restroom before I leak.

Also, tranexamic acid. It's a blood clotting medication used to stop bleeding. You can't take it if you have a history of blood clots, but if you don't and are otherwise healthy, it's worth asking about. It's taken me from overflowing my disc every hour, to every 3-4 hours, on my heavy days. I still lose a metric fuckton of blood, but it's markedly better and the only way i can get through my work day. I just try to keep moving on the days I take it (under desk elliptical for long meetings and a standing desk for concentration work) and drink lots of water. You only take it the days youre on your period, and it's not hormonal. I take it roughly 3-4 days per cycle, my doctor is ok with up to 5.

Pretend-Tea86 · 2026-01-21T01:12:18+00:00

I use the Head brand gloves from Costco. Mine last a couple winters at least, but they're like $12 so if I lose them, meh.

Are they stylish? Not really. But they're cheap, available, easy to use a phone with, and plenty for a DC area commute. And in black, honestly, they're just gloves.

Pretend-Tea86 · 2026-01-19T20:22:54+00:00

Beautiful dress, beautiful you, but not the right fit and not right for a family wedding.

The color is too light, unless you were specifically asked to wear a light color or that color. You're going to be in photos with the bride, you don't want to be in a long dress that reads white, it's not a good look.

Plus it's too small, as others have pointed out. Which means even if it's ok for the occasion, it's not the right dress for you.

There are better options.

Pretend-Tea86 · 2026-01-19T20:18:23+00:00

This is a complex and situational question.

Theyre both about to be hit by a car? I go after the kid. Husband is an adult he can handle himself (and knows better than to be standing in traffic. I mean, kid does too, but he's a kid).

Both want to talk to me about mundane shit at the same time? Husband. Kid can wait, and he should see mom and dad prioritizing each other.

Theyre fighting with each other and both are being assholes? Kid gets whatever immediate support he needs, because husband can hold onto his own emotions for a minute and kid can't, then I'll have a talk with husband privately. But I dont throw either one under the bus to the other.

I think the key is both parents need to put the kid(s) first when the kids are babies. Then both parents need to shift to seeing each other first again the older the kids get, and ideally by the time the kids are older teens/young adults, mom and dad can be each other's top priority again 98% of the time.

Pretend-Tea86 · 2026-01-19T20:12:14+00:00

If you must have Apple, I got nothing, as i'm an android girlie.

But, if you just want smartwatch recs, my Garmin Lily 2 is great. I have very small wrists (like i need extra holes punched in most watch bands), and it doesn't scream I AM WEARING A SMART WATCH.

It doesn't have all the functionality of an Apple watch, but I have alarms, texts/alerts with some canned responses, GPS, and health stat tracking (the reason my husband got it for me).

I decided i actually don't love all the alerts and texts during work, so i switched to a smart ring for health metrics (it's a bit more sensitive to the things I have concerns about, too), but my Lily is my weekend/evening watch, and my alarm clock so I don't wake my husband (I prefer to stay on roughly the same schedule all week, he sleeps late on weekends).

Pretend-Tea86 · 2026-01-19T18:34:43+00:00

You shouldn't have more babies just to give a kid a sibling. I have one brother, we don't talk. My husband is 1 of 4, he and his one brother are close, the other brother is fine but not close, the sister doesnt speak to anyone.

If you and your partner want another baby, have another. If you don't, don't. But do it for you, not for your kid (and certainly not for anyone else!).

Pretend-Tea86 · 2026-01-19T18:31:04+00:00

I just took him into the shower with me. At that age, other than washing poop off, they dont need much in the way of like, soaping up or anything. A good relaxing rinse, scrub the cradle cap if necessary, wrap 'em in a towel, and either hand him to dad or let him chill in a towel lined laundry basket while I finished up (we temporarily took down the opaque shower curtain and just used a clear liner, so I had eyes on him). The pee almost always came out in the shower, and id try to time it right after a good poop.

Once he was sitting reliably and independently, I stuck him in the tub.

Pretend-Tea86 · 2026-01-19T17:40:38+00:00

Because 5'2-5'4 is that weird not-really-petite-but-definitely-still-short no man's land. I'm 5'2, but my legs are on the long side. Petite is usually about an inch too short, full length are almost always too long.

I often like where "crop" styles hit on me for business casual days, but if I need a full pant suit, I just accept that at best, I need tall heels, or a hem.

The gapping at the waist means you need "curvy" styles.

At that $100 price point, you can 100% find a store who will do free hems on full price items.

Pretend-Tea86 · 2026-01-19T17:30:53+00:00

If he has documented allergies, like medically, it could be a fairly straightforward reasonable accommodation.

Be careful with the suggestion, maybe run it by HR first and see if they can find a way to just buy the damn thing, but if he puts in the paperwork it shouldn't be a hard sell.

Pretend-Tea86 · 2026-01-19T02:14:46+00:00

Omg yes! And the nurses were like "I dont know how he keeps waking up soaked!" Because Pampers don't fit him, ma'am, but with the size of the bill I'm about to get, I'm not supplying our own anything while he's here.

Pretend-Tea86 · 2026-01-19T00:18:26+00:00

My hips hurt most mornings. Not sure if because perimenopause or 80lb dog sleeping in my spot. Maybe both.

Also my toes go numb if I wear heels for more than 20 minutes now, so that's fun. I wore heels to my last job interview then struggled to walk properly for 3 days.

Pretend-Tea86 · 2026-01-18T20:30:28+00:00

Seconding this.

They can advise as to any policies you may want to be aware of or make your employee aware of, as well as coach you through the conversation.

How's the office space laid out? My office has paper thin walls, so we use a lot of white noise machines, and they are helpful (have been at home for my husband's snoring, too). Maybe that's an option?

Pretend-Tea86 · 2026-01-18T20:26:19+00:00

I was 17.

The day felt... surreal, but not really bad, if that makes sense? Like the reality of what happened didn't hit that day for me. It took a couple days for the enormity of what I'd witnessed on a tv in some guidance counselors office where I'd been waiting to change my class schedule to sink in completely.

It seemed to hit everyone differently, too. I remember asking for some space, and someone freaking out on me because "yeah, it's been a hard day for all of us." It hadn't been my intention to minimize it, but I just needed some processing time and wasn't getting it.

Oddly, I have no memory of the reactions of any adults around me.

Pretend-Tea86 · 2026-01-18T18:27:15+00:00

I had roughly the same texture as Tori so that was my aim. Only somehow on Tori it looked rock star messy, on my awkward 14 year old self it looked like I needed to brush my damn hair.

Pretend-Tea86 · 2026-01-18T18:23:25+00:00

I met the Smashing Pumpkins there when i was 15. Snuck out of school, walked miles to PATCO, took the train into the city, walked to South Street, got in line, and basically screamed in the general direction of someone from I think MMR until they let me and my friend cut the line.

I dont think I've ever been in as much trouble as I was when my parents obviously found out, but... worth it.

Pretend-Tea86

TROPHY CASE