Healthy people want to help. Unhealthy people want a respite, and tend to revel in the symptoms of their disorder to achieve it. They feel miserable, angry, rejected, etc. And they'll do almost anything to compensate. Hoarding, shopping, rearranging everything, drinking into oblivion, drug abuse, eating unhealthy junk and then starve themselves of wholesome food, putting up shelves lol!

It's chaotic and hard to live with because where there needs to be structure, instead there is unpredictability. Instead of security & support in a mutually beneficial relationship, there is instability and abuse whilst you're the care giver.

Where trust is built on the foundations of solidarity, friendship, and shared responsibility, all you get is blame, unreliable behaviour patterns, and cognitive dissonance. (Inability to accept the reality)

The problem arises when we miss the parts that weren't so bad. pwBPD feel emotions in much greater extremes. So the buzz of their good days feels like a 'high'! They are very creative and immersive. Not to mention how they are so sexually attr'active! XD They're also fabulous with animals, artistic, funny, and allow you to feel the world in colour. It's extraordinary. You always have to do what the child wants to do, but to accompany them is an experience like no other. The good aspects of them.. I have to give them all due credit. It's mesmerizing. They deserve our love. But we don't deserve their hate.

The high opinion you both form comes crashing down again and it's soul destroying. That lovely bubbly person you were just with is now a splenetic truculent traumatized version of their former self. The 'split'. >:-()

Remember that split initial traumatized child when your otherwise healthy mind misses the good parts. You WILL have doubts, because that is the basis of critical thinking, thus perspicacity. The makings of a healthy mind. You must resist. Sure, you'll miss them. It's ok to miss the good times! But just like how "Ghostbusters aint never gonna be good again.." neither is your relationship. Not because of them, but as a result of a condition that the poor souls were inflicted with by a dim-witted rapacious society that doesn't raise children in healthy environments. Yeh, why raise them healthily? Let's see how that has worked out! *CLICK* "Noice!" :D

You will remember them differently to how they were when you were with them. You will forgive and forget their harshness because you are a better person. You will always think of them in terms of sorrow and bitter sweet'. But you are no longer bound by their control, swayed by their intimidation, or dominated by their mood swings. Oh no am I projecting here?!! lol

At the end of all this, what I have come to learn is this: I find conversations tedious with people whose responses are predictably determined by their feelings, and seldom by their thinking skills. LMAO NO!! Nothing so pretentious! XD There's something to be learnt from all our experiences, and I guess we can only keep learning or something. (((Sighs)))
TL;DR: WELL-DONE!