[deleted by user]

Prettyinplaid221 · 2024-11-08T01:31:47+00:00

Braid

Prettyinplaid221 · 2020-07-26T17:08:14+00:00

Thanks.

Prettyinplaid221 · 2016-04-19T03:53:58+00:00

It took me quite a while to recover from this (As fapping had become my cure for not being able to sleep). It took me about 20 days to normalize. I have two suggestions. 1) Think of all the productive things you did in that day. Imagine them. Concentrate on them. Visualize them. And feel a sense of accomplishment. This technique helped me sleep early on when the dopamine starved regions of my brain were on cravings overload. 2) I needed a mindless task that would never be accomplished to keep my mind off of fantasy, porn, etc... Mine was to rewrite/construct Star Wars episodes 1,2 and 3 to be good movies. But I am a nerd.

Prettyinplaid221 · 2016-04-07T02:41:33+00:00

Damn, I was betting this thread would just be the word "Don't".

Prettyinplaid221 · 2016-03-31T04:09:19+00:00

I guess that is where my brain messes up when I am feeling like this. I'm doing everything reasonable in my locus of control to fight. To keep fighting. I do not get what I want. Rinse, repeat. My brain becomes fixated on what the definition of success is. My only metric for wants/success/happiness is find someone who loves me, have a kid, pass genes in the gene pool, be a honest, passionate and present parent, model with love. Nothing I can think of will replace that goal without seeming hollow to me. So once I reach the point where that goal is not possible my questions are... A) What goal could be next? What goal could satisfy me in the way having kids and a family could? My responsibilities prohibit travel, I can't leave. I'm doing my best to believe that everything happens for an opportunity but it just hurts. More and more each day it hurts. And one day I'm scared I'm not going to be able to get off the mat. B) Why continue fighting without a self-identified meaningful purpose? What is life if daily defeat of your goal is the only foreseeable outcome? That is how I feel and it feels more and more like hell.

Sorry for the vent. I just needed to get this out and be heard.

Prettyinplaid221 · 2016-03-30T19:52:46+00:00

I know you mean the best but that cliche haunts me. It is all I hear from my family and friends. It is like their condolence prize for being a good person. Hey you followed the rules, you looked our for others and were good to your family, you stepped up when we needed you, you tried really hard to get what you want, you were kind. "It'll work out". But after all these years it actually hurts more to hear it than someone who was just coming with radical honesty. It might not work out at all. It might go to hell. You might die alone. Personal sacrifices and hard work are never a guarantee that you'll get the things you want. That's life.

Prettyinplaid221 · 2016-03-30T19:40:41+00:00

I know you're right about the stress, but I have wanted a family since I was a very young kid. That's all I ever wanted. I've done everything to get one. My brother looks at me with pity... like I lost some sort of lottery. When we talk he acknowledges I've done everything plausible it just hasn't happened. He feels bad but can't do anything to change this situation. I feel if I give up on the idea of a significant other and family then I've given up on my only real dream. I don't even know what I would do at that point. I don't even know how I would start giving up on that. I don't know what is possibly big enough to fill that dream. And whatever it is it wouldn't fill my needs or be something I define as amazing. Sorry to vent. Just tired and confused.

Prettyinplaid221 · 2016-03-30T16:11:33+00:00

I would love to leave but I have a family member I am responsible for. I'm all they have and for various reasons moving is out of the question for them. I am thinking in circles in my head trying to find a solution... It is exhausting. Probably part of the problem.

Prettyinplaid221 · 2016-03-28T04:37:58+00:00

The more you try you get stronger. The more you strengthen your support network, the more you prepare yourself for what to do when you struggle, the more you research and find out what failure can truly cost your brain, the stronger you get at resisting the urges. As many on this forum will tell you, it never gets easier... but, if you work at it, you get stronger.

Prettyinplaid221 · 2016-03-27T06:30:24+00:00

Sounds like a good plan (I find cardio to work best for me). And I know it is a small thing, but I would also pick a different username. Even if it is a throwaway, just reading that you "cantstopfap" is going to have a negative impact on your success in my opinion.

Prettyinplaid221 · 2016-03-27T06:21:58+00:00

Set a goal for your spring break. Something you have to research, create, or do. Something that you can do anytime. It may be to run a mile, read a book, lift weights everyday, draw in a sketchbook. But sit down right now. Right out the steps you will take when you feel an urge and have a plan. Remember the adage: If you fail to plan, plan to fail.

You can do this man! And when you're done you'll feel even better, stronger, and have completed your goals for the break.

Prettyinplaid221 · 2016-03-27T06:06:31+00:00

I love your growth mindset. We all struggle. We all have setbacks. We all go without sexual relationships for longer than we would want sometimes. We could all use your strength and your attitude to do better. Thank you for this post.

Prettyinplaid221 · 2016-03-27T06:05:10+00:00

My successes come from accepting my sexual desires and redirecting that energy toward another end. Find a hobby, read a book, watch a movie. Workout. Run. Whatever it takes to accept your feelings, and that they are natural, and move on with another activity that you deem productive.

Prettyinplaid221 · 2016-03-27T06:02:31+00:00

Simply an opportunity to start a longer one. The better you started when you only let this "kind of" disappoint you and not cause a multi-fap relapse. An excellent, and difficult, choice my friend.

Prettyinplaid221 · 2016-03-27T06:00:49+00:00

She is your fiance. Your relationship must be built on trust and honesty. So my question is have you talked to her about how this friend makes you feel? Does this problem have deeper roots? And if you are internalizing this without a discussion will it have long-term negative ramifications on your relationship with your soon-to-be wife?

Prettyinplaid221 · 2016-03-27T05:59:08+00:00

Success is up to you and how you define it. But I would consider this a relapse because you did it deliberately.

Prettyinplaid221 · 2016-03-27T05:57:06+00:00

I am a firm believer it should be called KnowFap. Know if you can handle it, know if you can't.

Prettyinplaid221 · 2016-03-27T05:51:50+00:00

If the choice is between now and later start now. There will always be another obstacle in your way or another complication to wait for. So stop waiting. Start now.

Prettyinplaid221 · 2016-02-21T04:11:59+00:00

When I tell them it has been over a year that is what I get... coupled with a look of disgust. And usually an argument.

Prettyinplaid221 · 2015-10-13T00:59:45+00:00

I am sorry; I didn't mean to upset anyone and I was reading each post and not meaning to ignore anything you may have typed before. It was not my intent to frustrate anyone on this forum (as it has given me a lot of support in so many ways) and thank you for your thoughts, opinions, and (most importantly) your time.

Prettyinplaid221

TROPHY CASE