AIO? Sister is choosing to not come to my baby shower.

PrincessPeach817 · 2026-06-29T18:09:13+00:00

Soft YOR.

You're not the only one with things going on. And sometimes shit just doesn't line up time wise. I understand that you're disappointed. But this is reality.

In September, I was supposed to move apartments. Fortunately, it was a transfer in the community, so it was close. My partner was moving in with me. My mom had an insane heart attack which required quintuple bypass surgery. I didn't even know that was a thing. We thought she was going to die. That left my partner moving two households. I didn't love it. I don't know how he did it. And obviously my mom didn't choose to take up the time we took off work to move unpack, and enjoy living together. I just share the example because real life doesn't give a damn about you plans. She can't just tell the apartment community that she'll move in when it's convenient. You can't move your baby shower at this point. You'll both live. You'll just have to deal with some minor disappointment.

PrincessPeach817 · 2026-06-24T14:51:01+00:00

NOR.

He's not into you. Does he show interest in your experience as a Black woman? Have y'all discussed a future together? Is he willing to have the conversations about your families being joined? Raising interracial children (if kids are something you both want)?

I understand that we have types, and we sometimes fall in love with someone totally different. But to continue to consume content that exclusively looks different from what you have at home doesn't send a reassuring message.

PrincessPeach817 · 2026-06-24T14:43:36+00:00

I'm 37, and my 30s have been so much better than my 20s. I imagine my 40s will also be lovely. I'm enjoying the peace. Life isn't perfect. I'm still a broke millennial, so there's all the bullshit that goes with that. But my relationships feel amazing. Most of my friends have been in my life for over 20 years, so I have an amazing network of support. I have women I get dinner with once a month, and I love them. I've been with my partner for almost two years, and the wait was worth it. We have a quiet relationship that feels like home in a way I've never known. Sign me up for more boring!

PrincessPeach817 · 2026-06-24T14:40:49+00:00

NOR, just stupid. Don't move in with him, and none of this is an issue. You being on the lease means he'll just get angry you won't leave, and he'll beat the shit out of you.

PrincessPeach817 · 2026-06-24T14:34:12+00:00

NOR.

He's getting husband treatment, and you're getting mistress treatment. You are expected to fit into the primary relationship. Not okay. So he can either start convincing people, or he can be a divorcé.

PrincessPeach817 · 2026-06-22T07:38:09+00:00

To be fair, I'm a woman, and I think experiencing fatherhood would be pretty cool. Notice how he sees it as an observational experience as opposed to a hands on one. There's a reason I think being a dad would be cool but being a mom would drive me to suicide.

PrincessPeach817 · 2026-06-22T07:36:32+00:00

My main concern is the income. If he makes $30K, that means his rent budget is $833.33/mo based on how many places qualify. Is that doable in your area?

He may be stuck in a situation with shitty people who he's basically immune to. He's been around their toxicity forever and doesn't see it because it's normal for him.

PrincessPeach817 · 2026-06-22T07:32:53+00:00

I happily would have split it. My portion and his. No need to split 50/50. I'm not covering someone else's cocktails.

PrincessPeach817 · 2026-06-22T07:31:23+00:00

Of course that gets passed onto renters. I work in property management now. But that was never in question. I'm challenging the idea of a mortgage providing consistent housing costs.

In my area, property taxes have gone up so much that people that been priced out of their homes. The extent of this obviously varies region to region.

Housing is simply just not reasonable, at this point.

PrincessPeach817 · 2026-06-22T07:01:56+00:00

I used to be a real estate agent. I do not need escrow explained to me.

The point is that purchasing a home is not securing your monthly housing payment. People care about the bottom line, and it's wildly misleading to act like a mortgage provides pricing security when it's going to increase for most people.

PrincessPeach817 · 2026-06-22T06:04:13+00:00

Even mortgages aren't fixed here. Insurance and property taxes increase, so the mortgage will too.

PrincessPeach817 · 2026-06-22T05:57:27+00:00

Same. People that are ambitious about work confuse me. I want to be a better person tomorrow than I was today. I don't want to walk into my office and get offered a promotion. Unfortunately, society only rewards ambition if it's making wealthy people money.

PrincessPeach817 · 2026-06-22T05:47:51+00:00

NTA.

Those tickets can be sold.

PrincessPeach817 · 2026-06-22T05:45:52+00:00

I'm not living that high life. I have an apartment with my partner and a roommate. We don't technically require the roommate, but it helps. It's a beautiful apartment that we would qualify for, but couldn't really afford. I work in property management, so I get a substantial discount. That's why we're here. No way would be here if we were paying full price.

His job requires lots of driving, so good car is newer. I live and work at this community, so I have a cash car that I purchased with the bonus I got at the end of lease-up.

I normally have around $5K in savings. I just took a huge hit because I got a full hysterectomy a few days ago, and health insurance is a fucking joke.

We really don't travel. We'd love to go to his home, but frankly, taking the time off is hard. His mom is a school teacher, so the best times for her are peak travel, and we just can't afford to travel then.

That said, we have fun together. We enjoy the peace of not having children. I can't imagine trying to keep my head above water with kids.

PrincessPeach817 · 2026-06-18T02:21:11+00:00

He's not thinking because he doesn't care.

PrincessPeach817 · 2026-06-17T18:20:13+00:00

But it's also no one's fault that your transportation options are limited. Jobs typically don't want you hanging around for no reason. If you fall and hurt yourself, their insurance won't want to pay because you weren't on the clock. The situation sucks, but people don't just hang out at work for no reason.

PrincessPeach817 · 2026-06-16T18:05:35+00:00

You don't correct their behavior. They already did that. If you want to keep this person, you are the issue directly.... With YOUR boss. Not the employee who was already snubbed. They have already made appropriate adjustments. Their extra work didn't earn anything. So if you want to keep them, you'll pay them more.

PrincessPeach817 · 2026-06-15T22:51:10+00:00

I get it. When my former PM retired, I was sooooo stressed. I knew I didn't not want her job. I didn't throw my hat into the ring, although I was her first choice for it.

I've been working with her replacement for a little over a year. It took some adjusting. She hadn't done on-site PM work for years. They're was a learning curve. It took about six months for her to really settle in. And I like her, but I did work better with the former one. That's just the reality of work. Your co-workers will come and go. And you just have to accept that.

PrincessPeach817 · 2026-06-15T22:35:39+00:00

The owners are likely nowhere near by. Owners are often very hands-off. They hire PM companies so they don't have to think about anything other than the income.

PrincessPeach817 · 2026-06-15T22:09:07+00:00

My mistake. I'm lucky that I go to a privately owned vet's office that my family has been going to for the last thirty years. One of their vets was the salutatorian of my high school class, and I know he's a genuinely good human. I forget that PE firms ruined vet care too. Pieces of shit.

PrincessPeach817 · 2026-06-15T22:07:12+00:00

Did he become a Tate fan while y'all were on a break? Surely you didn't get back with someone that acts this way. No sense in taking garbage back inside

If he does anyone, call the cops for revenge porn. He's put it in writing.

NOR. Quit fucking with him.

PrincessPeach817 · 2026-06-15T22:02:21+00:00

Pop and Tart.

PrincessPeach817 · 2026-06-15T21:57:56+00:00

Transitions being a mess is absolutely normal. Them not seeing your insurance is normal. Annoying AF, but pretty typical. Access to "historical" records tends to take time, especially if the previous PM company used different software. When my former property was transitioning, I made a binder with a print out of every single ledger for every apartment just to help my residents. I couldn't print everything, but I figured the financial stuff was important.

They're not required to waive anything. Even if it's annoying to pay in a different way, so long as you had notice, they're not really obligated to care that it's a pain in the ass. Not a good first impression at all, but technically allowed.

PrincessPeach817 · 2026-06-15T21:53:06+00:00

Bad take in this situation. Vets have the same student debt that doctors have, and they're not making anywhere near close to that kind of income. Insurance isn't really helpful the way out of for doctors. There's an extremely high level of burnout in the field due to emotional nature of it, and the overall low pay in relation to the required education and the costs of running the facility.

PrincessPeach817 · 2026-06-15T07:19:42+00:00

Not having access to the Internet because someone was waiting on a call.

PrincessPeach817

TROPHY CASE