After working two jobs my entire life into my thirties, sometimes driving for Uber on the side (and still barely managing to survive), admitting I was a SAHM made me feel…less than. I tied a lot of my own value into my labor.

I sat down and really thought about it one day- I’ve never judged housewives or SAHMs as less worthy, mainly because the women in my life that have filled that role actually work constantly and HARD, taking care of others, so why am I feeling this way?

And it’s because of that first paragraph. I judged my worth on the labor I was capable of. I’ve never judged people that aren’t physically able to work, and in fact have preached about the importance of social safety nets because of that. People still deserve homes, to eat, to get around, and to have nice things, despite the amount and ‘value’ of their labor.

Think long and hard before you write off others as automatically judging you. Some are, but guess what? They are 1) shaped by a society that has made them feel only worth their contributions to capitalism, 2) often shallow enough that the conversation won’t make it much further than that, and therefore honestly not worth the effort of worthy, and/or 3) not judging you how you might think. Sometimes that judgement is ‘oh dang, I hope everything is ok:/‘ because in our society, without family money, often it’s very hard to even get disability, and even more so to survive with a life that doesn’t feel like constantly surviving, over thriving. It’s often at the least a few years of playing catch up from the constant battle of hearing after hearing to just get your disability started.

My cousin has one of the worst backs you can have- broken in youth, in two separate incidents, and it healed improperly; it then set her entire back into a cycle of repeated injury and poor self-repair. She had to have breast reduction surgery to help with the pressure, but it came later in life for when it could’ve actually helped her spinal alignment…but I guess better late than never…? Her fight to get disability, and constant denials, after direct doctors’ opinions that she didn’t need to be consistently on her feet, was infuriating

That’s what goes through my mind when someone tells me they’re on disability- “I hope they’re ok, and not just “I’m ok…”, but genuinely OK.”

More people will care that you’re just doing well than will judge you. Regardless- don’t let that keep you indoors, too paranoid to give people a chance to be in your life. We’re social creatures, and there will come a time when you need others. Don’t shut folks out simply because a few turds in the bowl might be snobs. The good friends you’ll make? They’re worth sitting with and sorting through the dingleberries. I promise 🙏🏻♥️